


Spike the Vampire Slayer:  Fallout

by PaganBaby



Series: Spike the Vampire Slayer [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Adult language and content, Alternate Universe, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Light BDSM, Non-Graphic Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-15
Updated: 2003-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-15 23:18:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaganBaby/pseuds/PaganBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe.  Sequel to 'Spike the Vampire Slayer'.  Spike is the Slayer and Buffy is the cocky British vamp.  They've discovered deep feelings for each other, but can they make their budding relationship work?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story deals, in part, with the reactions of Spike's friends and family to his new relationship with Buffy. Some of them aren't very positive. Angst alert! 
> 
> Takes place during early season 5. Joyce didn't die, Riley was Buffy's boy-toy, Samantha (Sam) Smith is Spike's recent ex. Drusilla was Spike's first love. The Scoobies know that Dawn is 'The Key', Glory is around, but doesn't show up in this particular story.
> 
> * Thanks to Coolestchick and Alyssa for betaing me!  
> ** Thanks to Edgehead and Magz for the beautiful banners!
> 
> Joss and ME own everything, I own nothing.

 

Buffy wound her arms around Spike's waist from behind, and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Looks good as new, luv." 

They had spent the afternoon repairing his bed and the damage to the wall caused by the headboard banging into it from their rowdy sex the night before. Spike had stayed home from classes today to get it done before his mother could come home and see it. Joyce would have had a fit. Not to mention the awkward questions that would naturally arise about what he was doing that made the headboard crack the plaster. He'd had to miss an important Psych test but he could make it up the next day.

Spike inspected the wall, tilting his head. "I don't know... I can still tell. Look, you can see where the paint --"

"Spike-pet, it looks perfect." 

Buffy walked around in front of him and put her arms around his neck. "Your mum will never be able to tell the difference. Now, I think I deserve a reward for bein' a good girl all day." She placed kisses on his cheeks, lips and the tip of his nose. "I've wanted to break off a piece of that sweet ass of yours all day but controlled myself till we finished fixin' up the place." She smiled.

Spike relaxed into her embrace, putting his arms around her waist. He smiled at how cute she looked with her hair up in a ponytail and smudges of paint on her chin and forehead. His newly discovered affection and feelings for the petite blonde vamp grew stronger by the minute. 

"You have paint on your face," Spike said with a smile.

"Yeah? You got some, too." 

Buffy trailed a finger over a streak of dried paint across his cheekbone. "Seems like we should do somethin' about that. Another shower... perhaps?" She grinned saucily. He had really gotten off on the shower sex. He had been so... enthusiastic. She could never get enough of him.

"Hmm..." Spike pretended to consider it, scratching his chin. "That's just what I was thinking. The water bill's going to be a bitch this month." 

Then, he kissed her languidly as they started removing each other's clothing. They had great, mind-blowing sex all night yet they still wanted more.

"C'mon, luv." 

Buffy pulled him along to the bathroom, her body humming with anticipation. But just as they were leaving Spike's room, there was a knock at the front door.

"Who could that be?" Spike asked, anxiety creeping into his voice. 

He was going to tell his friends about him and Buffy, but he wanted some time to prepare first.

"Probably just the postman. Go on and answer the door, pet. I'll be in the shower... waiting for you." 

She gave him one last lingering kiss and walked into the bathroom, swinging her hips. Spike took a deep breath and shook himself slightly to get his hormones under control. She made him so hot that he couldn't think straight, he couldn't wait to join her for some more hot, steamy, wet fun. 

He went quickly downstairs and opened the door. A delivery man stood there with a package and clipboard.

"Hello." Spike smiled, relieved that it wasn't one of his friends.

"Hello, sir. I have a package here for Dawn Summers."

"That's my little sister. She's out of town, but I'll sign for it." 

Spike took the offered pen and signed his name before taking the package and politely thanking the deliveryman. 

"Have a good day," the delivery guy called over his shoulder as he walked back to his truck. 

Spike was reading the package as he was closing the door. Dawn had been going on and on about the fan club she joined before she and Joyce had left for Joyce's sister's house in San Diego. She had been waiting for her membership kit to come in the mail for weeks, so this must have been it. Some new group called "Ghost of the Automaton" or something crazy like that. Spike hoped he wouldn't be forced to listen to yet another boy band over and over again. Maybe these guys were half decent. 

"Spike!" 

His head snapped up at Willow's voice. 

"Hey you! How come you missed classes today?", the red-headed witch said as she jogged up the porch steps and over to him before adding, "You're not sick, I hope?"

"Uh, hey, Wills. No, not sick. I just, uh, didn't get much sleep."

"Were you painting?" Willow asked, noticing the streaks on his face and clothes.

"Yeah... uh... in my room."

"You missed the Psych test but they're having make up exams tomorrow, lucky for you," Willow said.

"Yeah. I was --"

Willow walked past him into the house. His heart stopped when she started climbing the stairs. 

"I have to use the little girls' room. I have got to stop drinking all those cappuccinos!" Willow laughed.

"Willow! Don't go in there!" Spike called urgently.

"Oh, Spike, do shut up!" Willow said, imitating Giles' British accent very well. "I'll only be a minute!" 

Willow opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

"Was wonderin' what was takin' so long, Spike-pet. How 'bout you get in here with me, get nice and wet, and let me suck on that big, long, hard, gorgeous fucking co-" Buffy peered around the shower curtain to see a stunned Willow staring at her from the doorway. Buffy's smile quickly disappeared. "Oops... Wrong person." Buffy slowly went back behind the curtain.

Willow gulped, backing out of the room and shutting the door. 

Spike was standing halfway up the stairs, hanging his head with a hand over his face. This was definitely NOT the way he wanted Willow to find out.

"Umm, Spike..." Willow said carefully. "What's going on? Why is Buffy in your shower? And why was she saying.... that?"

"Wills... I was going to tell you... Buffy and I... we're kind of... together now," Spike said nervously.

Willow's eyes widened even more. "What? But... But... Are you nuts?! And what about Sam?"

Spike sighed and went back downstairs into the living room, sitting down tiredly on the couch. He placed Dawn's package on the coffee table and sat back. Willow followed him into the living room and sat down in a chair across from him.

"Sam and I are through. We broke up last night. It... It became painfully obvious that we weren't compatible."

"But... Buffy? Why on Earth would you want to be with her? I thought you hated her?"

"It's complicated. But... I have feelings for her. Real and scary feelings. They only came to the surface last night. I don't expect you to understand... just try to accept it for my sake." Spike wrung his hands together.

"Wow, Spike... I had no idea. Are... you sure about this?"

"Yeah." Spike smiled. "I'm sure that I want to try being with her. I don't know what's going to happen, where this is all going to lead, but I know I care for her."

Willow took a deep breath and released it. "Okay, then. If that's really what you want then... I'm here for you." She went over to sit beside him on the couch then put her hand on his. 

Spike gathered her petite form in his arms and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Willow. I was so worried about telling you guys."

"We're your friends, Spike, we love you. Um, Giles and Xander are going to be a tougher sell, but it'll be alright."

"Shit... they're going to freak, aren't they?"

"Maybe... but you have to do what makes you happy. Are you? Happy, I mean."

"Yeah. I'm really happy." Spike grinned. "What would I do without you?"

"With any luck, you'll never have to find out." Willow laughed lightly then sobered. "Spike... if she hurts you..." Willow didn't have to finish the sentence.

"I know. But she won't. I know she won't. I appreciate the sentiment, though." He squeezed Willow's hand gently. "It's weird, believe me I know, but I'm... crazy about her." He broke into a blinding smile, the kind that Willow hadn't seen on his face in a long time. "I buried my feelings for her for so long. And it's not just about the sex, although... Man! The sex is --"

"Spike! I don't need to hear _all_ the details." Willow smiled. "You're absolutely sure? I'm sorry to ask again, but it's just so... sudden."

"It's not a spell or any other kind of magical/mystical crap, if that's what you're thinking, Will. I'm absolutely, positively sure that I want to be with Buffy."

"Mystical/magical _crap_ , eh?" Willow gave him a mock-peevish look. "That so-called crap is my life, buddy. You don't hear me pooing all over Slayery stuff, do you?" She winked to let him know she wasn't really that mad.

"Uh... what I meant to say was... it's not because I'm under the influence of the fantastic, scrumptious tastiness that is everything magical/mystical. You know that I can never get enough of that stuff." 

Willow punched him in the arm, playfully. "Great recovery, blondie."

Spike made an exaggerated 'Ouch! face' and rubbed at his arm. They sat quietly for a few moments.

"Just... please be careful, okay?" Willow looked into his eyes as she squeezed his hand.

"I will." Spike grinned and hugged her again, grateful beyond words for her acceptance.

* * *

Sam laid on her bed in her small apartment, bouncing an orange Nerf ball off the wall, thinking about the events of last night for the hundredth time today. He broke up with her. Spike, the man she loved more than life itself, broke up with her. She had left in tears and started the lonely drive back to campus. She remembered...

 

_The night before..._

Sam drove for five minutes before she stopped the car. 

She couldn't leave things like that with Spike. She loved him too much. So what if he was into weird, kinky shit? She could adapt, she'd do anything for him. She had been too hasty to refuse him. The important thing is that they should be together. He'd forgive her, he had to… She didn't want to lose him for good. She did a U-turn and went back to Revello Drive. 

A light rain had just started, thunder boomed in the distance. Her heart was beating like a jackhammer when she finally pulled up in front of the house and got out.

Sam was running up the yard when a sound made her stop in her tracks. A loud moan came from Spike's window, followed by more moans and groans. Then she heard the voices. 

"Slayer! Uhh -- Luv! Feels so **BLOODY GOOD!** " a voice that could only be that bitch Buffy's shouted.

"Buffy! Ungh! Ohh Buffy!” Spike yelled.

Sam's feet were rooted to the spot as what she was hearing sunk into her brain. 

Her eyes were steely, glinting like knives in the darkness. Her nostrils flared, jaw clenched painfully, hands balled up into fists. Her jealousy and rage were overwhelming. Her only thought being: "I will NOT allow this! UNACCEPTABLE!"

Droplets of blood dripped to the ground from the palms of her hands as her fingernails dug into her flesh. The rain poured down around her, soaking her to the skin. An ominous sounding clap of thunder rang out from nearby as the storm suddenly intensified. The rain poured down around her, but she didn't even notice, her fury was all-consuming. 

It took all the discipline and self-control that Sam had learned from her Initiative training to keep her from storming up to Spike's bedroom and killing Buffy right there and then, maybe him too. She was able to keep her cool and get back in the car. 

She drove a few miles before she had to stop the car, lean out the window and throw up.

 

_The present..._

She would not let Buffy have him. 

Something in Sam's mind had snapped last night. Buffy would pay, pay dearly. Spike was another matter. She still loved him completely and deeply... but he had to be punished in some way as well. Buffy would be dealt with then he would see the error of his ways. Spike’s strongest muscle was most definitely not his brain, he could be so easily swayed. She had heard the proof emanating from his bedroom window last night. 

Buffy probably was trying to steer him towards evil. She had to be stopped before it was too late. Sam vowed to herself that she would not let that undead bitch win. Buffy would get Spike over Sam's dead body. Take Buffy out of the equation and Spike would be hers again.

"You'll pay... you fucking bitch. No one steals Samantha Smith's man and gets away with it, no one... especially not you..." Sam said between clenched teeth as she bounced the Nerf ball harder against the wall. 

"Shame you have that chip in your brain. Can't fight back. That should make it soooo much easier."

* * *

Buffy flipped through an issue of People magazine, laying on her stomach on Spike's bed, fighting the urge to have a smoke while waiting for him to come back from showering. 

Willow had left a half hour ago and although she was surprisingly accepting of them, it still took a lot out of Spike to tell her. He didn't exactly look in the mood for playing in the shower after Willow's visit, much to Buffy's chagrin. So she let him shower in peace. She was worried that those do-gooders he hung out with were going to put a serious damper on their sex life. If only she could just snap their necks, like she would have in the old days... But the Slayer wouldn't like that.

Buffy closed the magazine and put it aside when Spike came in the room with a white towel around his waist, slung deliciously low on his hips. His hair was wet and curled up at the ends, making him look unbearably fuckable. She growled lightly, fighting the urge to rip the towel off and throw him down on the bed. 

Spike walked over and dropped onto the bed on his stomach. 

She fingered his wet locks. "What's the matter, pet?"

"I'm not looking forward to telling the rest of the gang about us. There's a Scooby meeting at the Magic Box tonight... that's when I'll tell them. Do it like taking off a band-aid -- in one quick motion," Spike mumbled against the mattress. 

He turned over on his back. Buffy couldn't resist running her hand over the hard muscles of his chest, still wet from his shower.

"It won't be as bad as you think... probably." She leaned over and started placing kisses to his collarbones and pecs. 

"Buffy, how come you didn't... come in the bathroom? I was kinda waiting for you for a few minutes," Spike asked, running his fingers through her hair as she bent over him.

"Shit. I thought you wanted to be alone with your thoughts an' all that. Believe me, luv, if I thought you wanted company, I woulda been there in a bloody heartbeat." 

Her hands roamed over the slick flesh of his torso, she'd keep him naked 24 hours a day if it were up to her. It seemed almost blasphemous to cover up such a work of art. She imagined other women admiring him and growled. Buffy would tear apart anyone who dared try to get their hands on him.

"What's with the 'Grrrr!'? he asked, baring his teeth and making claws with his hands. 

That growl sounded more menacing than the last, not that he was worried. On the contrary, he found all her purrs and growls to be extremely sexy.

"Just thinkin' about some other chit trying to touch you drives me batty... No pun intended. How do you feel about wearin' potato sacks or really baggy clothing?"

Spike chuckled. "Jealous much? Buffy, no one else is going to touch me, except you, from now on. So I say, let 'em look. A guy needs to know he's still 'got it', you know? It does wonders for the old ego to have a woman check you out." 

Buffy growled, more playfully this time, and draped herself over him. She kissed him softly then more demandingly, her hand snaking down his body to remove his towel. She whipped the towel off with a flourish then tossed it away. They smiled against each other's lips. 

"Hmm, I still don't like it. All those women undressing you with their eyes..." Buffy wrapped a small hand around his shaft, stroking up and down gently. 

She sighed in happiness and placed kisses to his chest as his cock started stiffening and twitching in her hand.

"Honestly, I don't turn a lot of heads..." He was breathing more rapidly. "I'm not 'all that'. I'm not a rock star or... something."

"Well then, the women of this town are stupider than I thought. 'Cause you're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen, pet. Like a bloody statue... So perfect... so hot and tight..."

"You're going to give me a big head if you keep talking like that!" Spike laughed.

"That's the idea." Buffy grinned wickedly, stroking his cock harder. 

He arched his neck, inhaling sharply. 

"You're mine, Slayer. I'm not gonna lose you. I love you so bloody much." He looked back into her eyes. "More than you know, more than I should. If I lost you I'd..."

Spike cupped her face in his hands. "That's not going to happen, Buffy. I care about you -- a lot. I'm not going anywhere. I'm a one woman kind of guy. And you're my woman." 

He kissed her tenderly, trying to allay her fears. "You can't flip out every time a woman looks at me, okay?"

"I'll try, Spike-pet... But just the thought of some spotty bitch touchin' you..." She grit her teeth.

"You're the only bitch I want touching me," Spike joked, kissing and licking at her neck. 

Buffy raised herself up to hover over him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as her eyes raked over him, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips.

"How much I'd like to... never mind," Buffy said the last part quickly. She thought better of it at the last second.

"No, tell me. We're talking about -- well, we're talking now. I want to know what's on your mind." Spike stroked her hair.

Buffy glanced away nervously. "It's not important. I was thinking -- just thinking, mind you -- about how I'd like to mark you properly."

"You mean... bite me?" Spike asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah... it was just a thought. I know you wouldn't like that, pet." Buffy was afraid that even bringing the subject up would send him heading for the hills. She prayed that she hadn't stuck her foot in her mouth again.

Spike's mind raced. She wanted to bite him. He felt a myriad of emotions. Among them, fear, disgust -- but most of all... excitement. It was taboo, it was wrong, but he was getting harder thinking of it. Buffy having him at her mercy, her razor-sharp fangs slicing into his throat. Pain followed by amazing pleasure, or so he had been told. It hadn't been any fun when the Master bit him. He had felt some pleasure when Dru bit him that one time when he forced her to feed from him to save her life, but she had taken it too far, almost killing him. What if Buffy couldn't stop herself in time?

"Would... you even be able to? With the chip?" Spike asked slowly.

"I think so. I'd be as gentle as possible -- but we don't have to do it, luv." Buffy saw the indecision in his face at the same time she felt him growing harder in her hand. "We don't have to do anything you don't like." She kissed and lightly sucked at his Adam's apple. 

She was pleasantly surprised that at least _part_ of him was intrigued. She had almost gasped at how his cock violently jumped in her palm when she mentioned biting. 

_'Dare I dream it possible? Will he let me drink from him?_ She shuddered, imagining riding her Slayer at a gallop while sipping from the chalice of his neck. She almost came just from the thought of it, she ran cricket scores through her head to stave off an orgasm.

"I'm not... sure. It's more than a little freaky..." Spike said slowly. 

"Don't worry about it, pet." Buffy looked deeply into his smoky eyes. "You've already given me more than I ever dreamed possible." She sat up.

"I'm not ruling it out... totally... Just not... yet. Okay?" Spike held her hand. 

She bent over him and gave him another kiss. "Sure, luv." 

Buffy smiled and stood up, undoing her jeans and shimmying out of them. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and flung it in the air, it landed over the shade of the bedside lamp. They grinned. She crawled back on top of him. 

"God, Slayer, I want you so bloody much!" Buffy said raggedly. 

They fused their mouths together, hungry for each other. Their hands made circuits over the other's body. They'd been waiting all day to ravish each other again. Spike rolled them over so that he was on top. He kissed and licked softly at her perky tits.

"No foreplay!" she gasped. "Wanta fuck! Fuck me now!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Spike chuckled, pumping his cock a few times before guiding it between her slippery nether lips. 

She was so wet for him that he slid right into her pussy. They sighed as he sank into her to the hilt. Spike braced himself with his hands on either side of her head and began moving in and out. Buffy hooked her ankles together under his ass, pulling him into her deeper.

"Ahhh! God -- Yes! Uhhh -- Spike!" Buffy thrust back at him. "Fuck me, pet! Fuck -- OHH -- Oh yeah!" 

He picked up the pace a bit. "Buffy!" Spike moaned. "Love being inside you!" 

He squeezed his eyes shut, his hips pistoning faster and faster. The feeling was indescribable. Her snatch fit his dick like a glove. Spike mused that God, or whatever it was that created human beings, made two people specifically for each other. The two people would know they were with the right person by the way their genitalia complimented the other's. Unfortunately, you couldn't go around sticking your cock into every beautiful woman you came across to find your mate. But he'd found his. Buffy was his match.

"So -- Bloody -- Fucking -- WONDERFUL!" Buffy panted, scratching up and down his arms, the muscles there bulging with the strain of supporting himself. 

Spike pounded into her even faster and harder, the sound of their flesh smacking together was deafening.

"OH FUCK!" Buffy yelled. "I'm cumming! YES! Fuckmefuckmefuckme!" She thrashed under him.

Spike was close to the brink himself. He lowered himself to her neck, thrusting his cock into her tight hole more urgently as he slipped a hand between them to pinch her clit. In a moment of mindless passion, he put his mouth on her neck, opened wide then bit down firmly.

Buffy's eyes widened comically, her mouth formed a perfect "O", her body arched off the bed as she cried out in pure bliss and held him tightly. 

"FUCCCCKKK! Spike! NNNaaggh! Bloody fucking -- Ahhhh! OHH PET!" Buffy's body shivered and convulsed in orgasm.

Spike started cumming as soon as her inner muscles clamped down on him like a vice. He removed his mouth from her neck. 

"BUFFY!" he shouted, burying his face in her hair. "Ohh God! Buffy!" Their bodies shook and jerked. 

Panting for breath, he rolled over to lay beside her.

"Fuck! That was fucking incredible!" Buffy gasped with a wide smile, touching the spot on her neck where he'd bitten her. She hadn't expected him to do that. She hadn't ever cum so hard in her long, sordid life. "You naughty, naughty boy!" She smirked.

Spike looked sheepish. "I got... carried away. I thought that... maybe you'd like it. I should have asked first. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Buffy rolled on her side and kissed him enthusiastically, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. "Pet, never apologize for makin' me cum like that." She smiled. "Feel free to do it as often as you like."

Spike smiled back at her. "Okay. But I'll ask next time."

"Nah. I want it to be a surprise. That was the best fuck yet." She stroked his cheek lovingly.

"I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" Spike moved her hair aside to look at the 'love bite' he'd given her. 

He hadn't broke the skin, but there were impressions of his teeth on her pale flesh.

"Uh-uh, no worries, pet. Wish it wouldn't heal. I like the thought of havin' your mark on me." She kissed him again.

"Is it always going to be this good?" Spike sighed dreamily with a lopsided smile. 

"Always, luv." Buffy ran a hand down over his abs. "There's so much more I can show you... so many things I want to do to you...." She played with the fine line of brown hair that led down from his navel to his pubic hair. She had never seen sexier belly hair in all her years. Every little thing about him drove her crazy with lust.

"Show me." Spike's eyes were glazed and hooded with renewed desire. 

Buffy smirked and started kissing a path down his body, stopping to circle her tongue around his navel, she thrust her tongue in and out a few times before she continued down, using the feathery line of brown hair as her guide. She took his re-hardening member in her hand and licked up and down its length, tasting her own juices on it. Buffy used her other hand to lift his balls to her mouth, kissing, licking and sucking on them while she pumped his cock gently in her hand.

_'Slayer constitutions are amazing things!'_ Buffy thought with a smile. She would have said it, but her mouth was busy at the moment. 

She licked and sucked on his balls, one at a time.

"Buffy! God!" Spike groaned, looking down at her while she worked him into a frenzy, fisting his hands in her bleached locks. 

He couldn't get over the fact that he was getting so hard so fast after just cumming a few minutes ago. Buffy brought out the sex maniac in him. He would never get enough of this. They could go at it for hours on end and still have no trouble getting the other one hot again.

Buffy took her mouth off his sac and replaced it with her hand, rolling his balls and tugging gently. She then licked her way back up his shaft, flicking her tongue rapidly over and around the fat head. Spike groaned loudly, his eyes rolling up. Pre-cum oozed out of his prickhead copiously. She slid her mouth over it, greedily drinking up the liquid and moaning at his exquisite flavor. She'd suck him off all day long if he'd let her.

Spike bucked his hips and gasped when she dropped her head to totally engulf him, her chin resting on his balls. She bobbed her head slowly, sucking firmly on the upstrokes. He was once again fully erect, throbbing and aching in her mouth. 

Buffy massaged his balls as she slid her mouth up and down his thick rod. She worked her other hand up and down on the shaft, in a twisting motion while she sucked hard on the head. 

"Ohh -- God -- Ohh -- Buffy! FUCKYES!" Spike cried, trying to control the impulse to start fucking her mouth. 

Buffy was dripping wet. Sucking on his luscious cock and the sounds he was making had her pussy screaming for attention. In a moment of inspiration, without taking her mouth off his cock, she turned herself around and swung a leg over his upper body. She wiggled her hips, hoping he'd see what she wanted. They hadn't tried this particular position before. She hoped that he was 'up' for it. 

Spike put his hands on her hips and brought her cunt down to his mouth. His tongue dived into her folds, licking her firmly up and down as he grunted and moaned from her ministrations down below. He pushed his tongue in and out of her wet slit, wriggling it around like a snake. He locked his lips around her swollen clit and sucked on it fiercely. Buffy moaned and cried out around his cock, bucking her hips into his face. Her muffled cries became louder as Spike slid two fingers into her snatch and pumped them in and out rapidly. Then he switched off, fucking her with his tongue and fingering her nub. Her juices flowed into his mouth freely, dribbling down his lips and chin. Spike licked it up with relish. He was so close to cumming now, he wanted to take her over the edge with him.

Buffy's eyes rolled around in their sockets from the great head Spike was giving her. She had to concentrate to remember she had her own task to accomplish. She attacked his cock ferociously, working her mouth up and down faster, grazing it lightly with her teeth, sucking harder and harder, moaning all the while. She took his cock in her mouth down to the root and began swallowing around him, massaging his engorged cock with the muscles of her throat.

"OHHMM FUUMMK!" Spike cried into her pussy. 

He could never convey the immense pleasure he experienced when she did this to him to anyone. He sucked on her clit hard, nibbling at it with his teeth as he fucked four fingers into her cunt.

Buffy moaned and humped Spike's face with ardor. Their mouths, tongues and hands worked feverishly on the other's sex. They were eager to give as much pleasure as they were receiving.

"MMMPPPHHH! OOOMMPH! MMM!" Buffy eyes rolled back as another powerful orgasm shot through her body. 

Her juices poured onto his tongue as she fucked his face. She needed to make him cum in her mouth, so she could once again drink the sweetest nectar she'd ever tasted. She sucked on his prickhead harder than ever, jacking the base of his cock strongly, almost viciously. She slipped one finger of the hand that was working his balls with, down to his ass. She circled the finger around his tight hole then pushed in in slightly.

That was all Spike could take. His eyes went wide, his balls tightened up suddenly, and he began cumming hard, not able to control the bucking of his hips. 

"BBUUFFFY! NNNNGH! AHHHHH!" Spike exclaimed and shouted his arrival into her drenched pussy, his entire body trembled as he shot loads of thick, creamy Slayer cum into her mouth. 

Buffy moaned and swished the ropy strands of his cum around on her tongue. She swallowed every drop, jacking him into her mouth until he was completely spent. 

_'It doesn't get any better than this!'_ she thought dreamily. 

They massaged each other's thighs and hips as they came back down. They moaned as they lapped at the other's sex lazily, cleaning each other of their spendings.

"Oh, Spike-pet... luv..." Buffy moaned. "So fucking amazing..."

"Buffy, that was... Fuck... so good... Oh God..." Spike gasped.

"Spike, honey? We're home!" Joyce's cheerful voice came from downstairs. 

Spike and Buffy froze, their eyes wide in shock, their tongues stuck out in mid-lick on the other's genitalia.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

  
Spike and Buffy were immobilized, but burst into a flurry of motion after a moment. 

Someone was running up the stairs. Buffy jumped off the bed and ran like greased lightning to the bedroom door -- which they had left open since they had been the only ones in the house -- and shut it just in time. 

Spike scrambled off the bed and landed on the floor with a thud. He quickly jumped up and ran to his dresser to get some clothes.

"Holy shit! They weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow!" Spike whispered frantically.

"Spike?" Dawn said from the other side of the door. "You in there, O' brother of mine?" 

The doorknob turned. Buffy threw herself against the door and leaned on it heavily to keep it shut. 

"Hey! What are you doing in there?" Dawn asked.

"Don't come in!" Spike panicked, jumping into a pair of sweatpants with both legs and pulling them up quickly. "I'm... naked!"

"EWWW!" Dawn screwed up her features. "Gross!" 

Joyce was carrying her suitcase upstairs. "Mom! I almost got scarred for life and saw Spike in the buff!" Dawn said.

Buffy snickered into her hand. _'Caught him in the Buff, indeed! With his tongue in Buff's muff, if you want to be literal about it...'_ she thought with amusement.

"SHHH!" Spike hushed her. "Be quiet!" He would be mortified if his family knew what they had just been doing.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" Joyce asked through the door.

"Yeah, Mom!" He pulled on a fresh white t-shirt. "I thought you guys weren't coming home till tomorrow?" 

He collected Buffy's shirt from the lampshade and her crumpled jeans then threw them to her. She began pulling on her clothing.

"I just wanted to come back home. Your Uncle Joe was cranky because the Chargers lost or something. Honestly, why some people let themselves get so worked up because of a game is beyond me..." Joyce said, taking her luggage into her room to unpack.

"Are you dressed yet?" Dawn asked impatiently.

"Why?" Spike asked smoothing back his hair.

"So I can come in, genius. I bought you something at the zoo gift shop," Dawn said.

"Don't come in! I'll-I'll come out when... I'm decent!" Spike got some tissues and wiped Buffy's juices off his shiny lips and chin. 

Buffy smirked at him as she finished buttoning her jeans. He was so fucking adorable when he was rattled, she could eat him up -- which she planned on doing again the very next time the opportunity presented itself.

"I bet you were doing something really gross in there..." Dawn said, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"I'll be out in one -- fucking -- minute!" Spike growled, pulling on a pair of socks and sneakers.

"Mo-om! Spike swore at me!" Dawn whined.

"Spike, don't swear at your sister," Joyce chastised him from the other room. 

Spike grumbled and rubbed his forehead as he walked to the door. He took a deep breath and gave Buffy a 'Phew! That was close!' look. She smiled and gave him a quick kiss before moving to hide behind the door. Spike opened it just enough for him to squeeze through and shut it behind him. 

"Hey," he said to Dawn, trying to sound casual.

"About time, weirdo. What are you hiding in there?" Dawn knit her brows.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Nothing! Will you stop with the third degree?"

Dawn cast another glance at the door before giving up (for now). "Here!" She smiled, handing him a navy blue t-shirt with the zoo logo on it. "But maybe I shouldn't give it to you for being mean," Dawn teased. 

Spike grinned and held the shirt up to look at it.

"Thanks, Dawnie! I love it. Sorry I was cranky." Spike hugged his little sister, rocking her back and forth. "I'm touched that you remembered me while you were away."

"Of course I remembered you. We were checking out the chimps exhibit and for some reason your face popped into my mind!" Dawn giggled.

Spike pulled back. "Very funny, kid." He smirked and poked her in the stomach.

"What's that smell?" Dawn asked, sniffing the air.

"Huh?" He stepped back from her. "What... smell?"

"It's kinda... musky... I know I smelled it before... Janice's boyfriend's van, maybe?" Dawn attempted to place it.

Spike's heart raced. She must smell the sex on him. He still had traces of Buffy juice on his face. _'Oh God! She can smell it! I hope I don't have any pubic hair in my teeth!'_ he thought wildly. 

He suddenly remembered a way to throw her off the scent, literally. 

"Uh, Dawn! A package came for you today," Spike said quickly.

Dawn's eyes widened. "It came?! Oh my God!" She squealed, bouncing up and down. "Where is it?"

"Downstairs on the coffee table --" 

She ran down the stairs. 

Spike exhaled explosively. Joyce walked into the hall.

"Did you, uh, have a nice time, Mom? How's Aunt Marie?"

"Yes, it was nice. And Marie's doing well. But it's good to be home. I worry that you don't eat right when I'm not here." Joyce smiled at patted his face. "My special little guy."

"Mom," Spike rolled his eyes and groaned good-naturedly.

"I know, I know. You're all grown up and the Slayer, but you're still my baby boy." She grinned.

Spike blushed. _'Thank God she didn't catch us... she would've had a stroke...'_

"Why are you all sweaty, honey?"

"I was, um, working out. In my room," Spike lied.

She looked at him skeptically. "Is Sam here?"

"No... in fact... I have to tell you something about me and Sam. But let me get cleaned up first."

"All right." Joyce patted his arm, worry creasing her brow. She hoped nothing was wrong. Her poor baby just couldn't seem to get a break when it came to love. "I'm going to order a pizza for dinner."

"Sounds good, Mom." Spike smiled innocently. 

Joyce went downstairs. He slipped back into his bedroom and leaned back against the door, breathing deeply. 

Buffy giggled. "That coulda been awkward! That was some fancy footwork you did there, luv. Bobbin' and weavin'... Nice shirt," she said glancing at the t-shirt Dawn had given him.

"Yeah. God, I thought for -- damn -- they weren't supposed to come home yet." He looked at her. "I was hoping we'd have more time alone together."

Buffy put her arms around his neck, pulled him down and kissed him deeply. They moaned into the kiss. Spike's hands traveled down over her back to her ass, he took a cheek in each hand and squeezed as he ground himself against her.

"Spike, honey?" Joyce called. "Do you want pepperoni and mushroom on your pizza?"

They groaned in frustration. 

Spike lifted his head. "Yeah, Mom. That's fine," he called back to her. 

Spike sighed and rested his forehead against Buffy's. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I'm reconsidering the whole living at home thing..." He pouted.

It became necessary to move back home when his mother was having health problems, and he was missing the freedom and privacy that he had when he lived in the dorm. Especially when it came to spending time with a member of the opposite sex. But now, with Glory still sniffing around looking for her "Key", it was critical that he be as close to home as possible to protect his sister.

"S'okay, pet. Look at that pouty lip... Gonna get it. Gonna..." Buffy nibbled at his bottom lip. 

He smiled and put his mouth back over hers, their tongues tangled lazily with the other's.

"Mmmm." Spike deepened the kiss.

"Spike?" Dawn called. "Mom wants to know if you want Diet Coke or regular with dinner."

Spike growled. Buffy had to keep from giggling, he was so cute when he growled. But also very, very arousing.

"God fucking damn it!" Spike ran a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. "Whatever! I -- don't -- care!" he called back harshly.

"Geez! I was just asking, butthole!" Dawn yelled back.

"I'd better go, yeah?" Buffy reluctantly moved away from him to put on her boots. "If I don't go now, I'm gonna throw you on the floor and have my wicked way with you again. That's not such a hot idea considering mom and little sis are right downstairs."

"I wish you could stay," Spike said leaning against the door.

"Me too, pet. Come to the crypt later? We'd have the whole place to ourselves..." She stuck the tip of her tongue out and waggled her eyebrows.

"You sold me." Spike laughed. "But... I have to go to the Magic Box first. Have I mentioned how much I'm not looking forward to that?"

"Not in the last five minutes." Buffy got up and grabbed her duster, shrugging into it. She smiled and walked over to him. "You want me to come with? We could show a united front."

"No. It's better if you're not there for this. There are too many weapons laying around. I can handle it."

Buffy gave him a soft kiss. "I'll see you later then, Spike-pet." 

She climbed out the window and dropped out of sight. 

Spike smiled wistfully, missing her presence already. Thinking about joining her at the crypt gave his spirits a boost as well as giving him the beginnings of a hard-on. His dick seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to Buffy. He hadn't had this many stiffys since he was 13. He tried to think unsexy thoughts to will it away: Getting demon goop on his favorite jeans, Grandma Summers in a bikini, Giles naked and -- that did the trick. 

Spike went to wash up before dinner.

* * *

Spike came downstairs, freshly washed, wearing the blue shirt Dawn bought for him and a tight pair of well-worn blue jeans. 

The doorbell rang.

"Spike, could you get that?" Joyce asked from the kitchen.

"Sure, Mom." He opened the door. 

Buffy stood on the porch holding two pizza boxes, smirking at him.

"Buffy?" He glanced back into the house before stepping up to her and whispering. "What are you doing here? And with pizzas? Don't tell me you're working as a delivery girl..." 

Buffy whispered to him, "I got halfway back to the crypt -- I missed you." She looked away shyly. "So I came back and met the pizza boy in the driveway. Dinner's on me tonight. Can I... come in?" 

He blinked. It might be a good time to tell his mom and Dawn about them. 

"Yeah. Yeah, come in."

"Buffy!" Dawn squealed when she came into the front hall. "I haven't seen you in so long!" 

Buffy handed the boxes to Spike before Dawn threw her arms around her and hugged her.

"Hey, Nibblet. Missed you too, luv." Buffy smiled warmly.

"Are you staying for dinner? Can she, Spike?" Dawn looked at him hopefully. She loved her brother but he could be such an asswipe when it came to Buffy.

"It's fine with me. Mom's the one you should ask."

"Mom! Can Buffy stay for dinner?" Dawn ran into the dining room where Joyce was bringing in the salad.

"Hi, Buffy." Joyce smiled. 

As strange as it seemed, Joyce always had a soft spot for the British vamp. She liked her a lot more than that horrible Drusilla that her son had dated. Something about Dru just rubbed Joyce the wrong way, even before she lost her soul and became evil.

"Hey, Joyce. How was your weekend?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, Spike told you about that? It was fine, but I'm glad to be back home. And of course you can stay for dinner. I... don't have any blood, though..." Joyce fretted, she wanted to be a good hostess.

"That's ok. 'M not hungry for that." Buffy looked slyly at Spike. 

It was true, she didn't feel particularly hungry, even though she should be famished by now. She mused that the amount of Slayer spunk she had swallowed over the last 24 hours provided her with all the nourishment she needed. 

_'Gah! Wouldn't it be grand if I could live on that... I'd be the fattest, happiest vamp in the world...'_ she thought, licking her lips lightly.

Spike cleared his throat. "Let's eat."

* * *

Dinner was going well. 

They talked and joked. Dawn dominated most of the conversation, no surprise there. Buffy was sitting next to Spike. She couldn't resist brushing her leg against his a few times and putting her hand under the table occasionally to squeeze his thigh. She hoped he wouldn't be upset with her for it.

Spike did his best not to show any reaction when he felt Buffy's leg brushing his and especially when she put her hand on his thigh. He was nervous that his sister and mother would notice. He was also getting aroused having her this close to him. It was exciting in a disturbing way. He untucked his t-shirt to make sure no one would notice if he started getting too excited. 

"And my friend Denise looks great as a blonde!" Dawn said. "Mom, can I dye my hair blonde? I'm like the only brunette in the state of California, and I'd look super cool!"

"Absolutely not, young lady! Your hair's beautiful. Why would you want to ruin it?"

"No fair! You let Spike dye his hair!" Dawn crossed her arms, her lower lip jutted out in a pout.

"Hey! I have NEVER dyed my hair!" Spike said defensively. 

Highlights did not constitute a dye job -- in his mind anyway. He'd go to his grave never admitting to touching up his hair. 

"Oh? Then why did your hair turn blond?" Dawn smirked. "It looks awfully brown in old pictures of you."

"Cause... I spend a lot of time in the sun. That's why. The sun -- it naturally lightens hair. Sunlight reacts with... uh... chemicals and stuff in your hair."

"Sure, Bill Nye, you spend _lots_ of time in the sun, what with the patrolling cemeteries at night all the time." Dawn laughed.

"Who?" Spike asked furrowing his brow.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Don't you know anything? Bill Nye the Science Guy... It's a TV show."

"Well, pardon me for having better things to do than watch TV all the time," Spike said.

Buffy smiled as she watched the siblings pick at each other. She felt so warm in the bosom of what she considered _her_ family. She'd never felt this way about any other humans after she became a vampire. 

Buffy briefly flashed back on her mortal life: Buffy (when she'd still been known as Elizabeth), her mother and two little sisters in the sitting room of their well-to-do house in London; talking and laughing while they embroidered something or another. She missed them all so much sometimes. After she'd been turned, she hadn't gone back to see them, as much as she'd wanted to, she still loved them as much as she had before the turning. It would have upset them to see how she'd... changed. Buffy had made sure that Drusilla didn't know of their existence. Angel had told Buffy how much Dru enjoyed slaughtering families. Buffy would NEVER permit Dru to touch one hair on her mother's head.

She'd tried to make Dru, Angel and Darla her new family, but she had never really fit in with them. Buffy shook herself from her reverie. After all these years, she still craved a place to belong, to be welcomed into a group. Maybe the Summers clan would accept her as one of their own... eventually.

Buffy saw that Spike was looking a little peevish about Dawn's hair comments. Buffy liked the Slayer's hair and decided to lend him some support.

"I think your hair's quite fetching, Slayer. It suits you." She smirked.

"Uh, thanks, Buffy. Your hair... is, uh, nice, too." Spike blushed slightly.

"It's so nice to see you two getting along," Joyce said poking at her salad with a fork, smiling at her son and Buffy.

"Um... yeah." Spike nodded and took a drink of his soda.

Dawn narrowed her eyes. "Is there something going on between you guys?" 

Spike choked on his drink. 

Buffy hit him on the back. "Alright, pet?" She looked at him with concern. 

She tried desperately to remember those posters they had up in restaurants on how to give the Heimlich Maneuver should he need it. She'd have to learn about all that emergency stuff now that they were together. She wouldn't want something bad to happen to him because she didn't know the proper procedures.

"I'm okay." He coughed into his hand.

"That's it, isn't it?" Dawn asked, her face lighting up. "You guys finally got together?! All the little looks you've been giving each other that you don't think I noticed, Spike being nice to you for a change..."

Spike looked at Buffy and squeezed her hand under the table, she squeezed back and smiled. He turned back to his mom and sister.

"Mom, Dawn... Buffy and I are... together... in a romantic sense."

"Oh -- My -- God!" Dawn jumped up and clapped her hands together. "This is so great! I knew you guys were made for each other!" She ran around the table and gave Buffy a big hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

Buffy laughed. "Easy there, Platelet! Don't damage the goods. It's nice to see that you approve." 

"Hell yes, I approve!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Dawn! Don't swear," Joyce said absently, a little stunned by the announcement.

"Sorry, Mom. Buffy, how did you get my bro to stop being a big jerk about the whole thing?"

"Hey! I resemble that remark." Spike smiled. He knew that Dawn was right. He had been a big jerk before, not allowing himself to see the woman he belonged with when she was right under his nose.

"Isn't it great, Mom?" Dawn smiled at Joyce.

Joyce had a weak smile on her face. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. She wanted her son to have a normal life, as normal as he could have being the Slayer. That's why she'd lectured Drusilla about doing what was best for him. But... if this is what he really wanted...

"I'm certainly... surprised," Joyce said. Spike looked at her anxiously. "Honey, can I talk to you alone in the kitchen?" she asked, standing up and moving to the kitchen.

"Yeah... sure." He glanced at Buffy and pushed his chair back then stood up, following his mother. 

Buffy was scared, her borrowed blood felt like it had been replaced with ice water. If Joyce didn't approve she might be able to convince him to drop Buffy like a bag of dirt.

"Don't worry, Buffy." Dawn patted her back. She could see how nervous her vampire friend was. "Mom likes you." 

Buffy smiled at Dawn gratefully. "Thanks, Nibblet." 

She stared at the doorway to the kitchen, waiting to hear the verdict.

* * *

"Honey... are you sure about this?" Joyce asked kindly.

"Willow asked me the very same thing. And I'll tell you what I told her. Yes. I'm sure, Mom. I-I'm crazy about her." Spike looked down, blushing slightly.

"You talked to Willow, too?" He nodded. "Baby, I wanted you to have a normal life..."

"Mom, I can't have a normal life. You know that. Shouldn't I make decisions that will make me happy in the time I have left?" 

"Don't say that! Don't talk like that... Don't talk like you have some kind of terminal disease," Joyce's voice broke. "I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you..."

Spike put his arms around his mother and hugged her. 

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to upset you... I'm just trying to be realistic. It's not just me though, any of our numbers could be up at any time." He hugged her tighter, remembering her recent health scare. "I want to make the most of however much time I have. I want to be happy." 

"What happened to Sam?" 

He pulled away and looked down. "We broke up. Yesterday. It wasn't going to work out for us."

"But she seemed so nice." Joyce squeezed his arm gently.

"She is nice... she's just... not for me. Buffy's the one for me, Mom. I can feel it." Spike looked her in the eyes. 

Joyce could see he meant it. And talking him out of something once his mind was set on it was like pulling teeth.

"Do you love her?" Joyce asked.

"I... don't know. I think I do. I'm not sure I know what it feels like to love someone anymore," Spike said truthfully. 

His heart had been torn in two when he had to send Dru to Hell and then again when she left him last year. His heart was in so many pieces by now that he didn't think he was even capable of loving someone. But what he felt for Buffy was strong and deep. If it wasn't love, it was the next best thing.

"Okay." Joyce gave him a watery smile. "If this is what you want... then okay. I'll support you."

He smiled brilliantly and hugged her again. "Thanks, Mom. You have no idea how much this means to me. To us."

"I love you so much, pumpkin-belly. I just want the best for you." Joyce sniffled.

"I know. And I love you, too." Spike was getting choked up, it didn't help that she used her old childhood nickname for him. He hated that nickname, but it brought back some sweet memories.

* * *

Buffy stood up when Spike and Joyce reentered the dining room. She gulped when she saw signs of tears in their eyes. Spike smiled and walked over to her, bending down to kiss her softly on the lips. She looked at him wide-eyed.

"Buffy," Joyce said. "If you and Spike want to be together... I won't stand in your way."

Buffy smiled brightly. "Oh God, I... Thanks, Joyce! You're a hell of a woman." 

Buffy threw her arms around Spike's neck and planted an elated kiss on his lips. He hesitated for a moment before giving in to it, kissing her back with just as much feeling.

"I'll clear the table," Joyce said, taking a few plates into the kitchen. This was going to take some getting used to. 

"That's so cute! You guys look so cool together." Dawn waited for them to stop kissing. 

She checked her wristwatch after a few moments. 

"Okay, guys. Are you going to come up for air some time soon?" Dawn chuckled. 

A few more moments passed. 

"Okay... now we're getting into gross territory..."

Spike and Buffy continued kissing.

* * *

The Slayer and his vampire girlfriend walked hand-in-hand. Moonlight illuminated the lovers, casting them in a ethereal bluish-white light, as they walked down the street. 

"That went really well, pet." Buffy sighed happily, looking up at the full moon.

Spike laughed. "Dawn was so excited I thought she was going to wet her pants."

"Think Dawn's still on our side, despite the grossing her out factor." 

"She's happy for us." 

Spike swung their joined hands between them. It felt so good to be with Buffy like this. Like normal lovers out for a walk. 

"Your mum's okay with it? Really?" Buffy wanted to hear the truth.

"Yes. She does like you. She's not ecstatic about the situation or anything, but she wants me to be happy. And I am." 

He stopped and put his arms around her.

"Yeah?" Buffy smiled and kissed him on the lips.

"Mmmhmm. Maybe I shouldn't press my luck anymore tonight. Save telling the others for another time..."

"Whatever you think's best, luv..." Buffy was anxious for him to get it over with and let the Scoobies know about them, it would make it much more real and official. She didn't want him to stall, the sooner he told them the better. "You're going to have yourself tied up in knots until you tell them."

Spike sighed resignedly. "Yeah... I know. I'll just have to suck it up and do it now."

Buffy cradled his face in her hands, stroking his cheekbones. "It'll be okay. If they care about you like they say they do, they'll accept it. No worries, right?"

"No worries," Spike repeated with a smile. He knew it wouldn't be as simple as that, but he couldn't help how happy he felt when he held her in his arms. 

She leaned up and kissed him. They held the kiss for a few moments before separating.

"I'll see you back at the crypt," she said, walking backwards.

"Okay. I'll be there with bells on." 

"Mmmm... just let me picture that for a second." Buffy closed her eyes, smirking. "Okay... done! Oh yeah, can't wait, luv." 

She turned and walked quickly back to the cemetery, trying not to worry about his friends' reactions and how they'd affect him.

Spike watched her until she disappeared from sight. He sighed again and shoved his hands into his pockets, walking down the street to the shop.

 

Riley stepped out of a nearby alley once Spike was further down the street. He had seen the whole disgusting display of affection between the Slayer and his Blondie Bear. He couldn't believe the Slayer was actually giving Buffy a chance. What happened to that girlfriend the Slayer used to have? 

Buffy could be mean, even cruel to Riley... but he loved her. She was his girl, not the stupid Slayer's. He wracked his brain to come up with a way to get rid of the Spike once and for all. Smoke was practically coming out his ears from the effort.

* * *

Spike dragged his feet as he entered the Magic Box. Giles was standing at the counter, Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara sat around the central table.

"Spike, I was wondering when you'd grace us with your presence," Giles said with a hint of humor.

"Hey, Giles. Hey, guys." Spike waved to them, he felt sick to his stomach. _'Just tell them! Be a man!'_

"You okay, man?" Xander asked, noticing his friend's discomfort.

"There's a... um... something I've got to tell all of you..." Spike glanced at Willow who gave him a supportive nod. 

Tara (who obviously was in the loop, thanks to Willow) smiled comfortingly. 

_'At least I have their support, that's of the good...'_

"Is it Glory?" Giles asked, concerned. "Did she do something?"

"No."

"Then what is it? Don't leave us hangin'," Xander said, leaning back in his chair.

"It's about Buffy. We --" Spike began.

"Oh, for the love of all that's good and holy!" Xander threw his hands up in the air. "I'm telling you, man, you should just dust her and be done with it! You want me to do it? 'Cause I'll do it."

"It's not anything like that!" Spike said heatedly. The thought of anyone hurting Buffy tore him up inside. "Nobody's laying a hand on her, got it?"

"Who pissed in your Wheaties?" Xander was taken aback by Spike's defense of the pesky vamp.

"Buffy and I... have come to an understanding. We're going to be... together... as a couple, from now on." 

Spike held his breath waiting for their reactions. There was silence.

Xander suddenly burst out laughing, slapping at the table top. "Oh! For a second there... You had me going! Score one for the Slayer! Spike, you magnificent bastard, that was a good one! You can always make me laugh." Xander leaned on Anya. "Wasn't that funny, Ahn?" Anya smiled weakly at him.

"I'm not kidding, Xan," Spike said gravely. 

Xander's laughs slowed down to a trickle then stopped altogether once he got a look at Spike's face. 

"I care about Buffy. And I'm going to have a relationship with her. I hope you guys can --"

"You've got to be fucking kidding?! Come on. Joke's over, Spike." A look of horror spread over Xander's face.

"It's not a fucking joke." Spike was getting irritated. 

"Well..." Tara chimed in. "I think... it could be a good thing. She... Buffy has been trying to help and do good --"

"Are you insane, too?" Xander stood up. "You would support this... this... There are no words to adequately describe the wrongness that is Spike and Buffy!” 

Tara looked down at the table.

Willow stood up. “Hey! Mr. Man! Back off.” She put her hands on Tara’s shoulders protectively. “And it’s Spike’s life. If he wants to... date Buffy... then that’s his choice.” Willow stuck her chin out defiantly.

"It's true! You've all gone off the deep end! Giles!" Xander went to the counter, looking imploringly at the Watcher. "Giles you're all smart and wise, please tell me you're with me on this!" 

Giles took off his glasses and began polishing them. "I don't know what to say..." he said quietly.

Spike walked to the counter and stood in front of Giles. "Just say it. Get it out," he said in a flat monotone. Giles' opinion was important to Spike, he hated the thought that his father figure might be disappointed in him.

Giles looked into Spike's eyes. "I think you're making a dreadful mistake. You and Buffy... it's wrong, Spike. I should think you would know better by now." 

Giles felt an almost physical pain when Spike winced at his words. He could tell his young charge was hoping for his support. But he was talking about being with Buffy... Giles couldn't possibly lend his support to this unholy and unwise union.

"Thank you!" Xander exclaimed, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

"Shut up, Xander!" Spike snapped.

"No, I won't. I'm not going to stand by twiddling my thumbs and watch you hook up with that murderer! Did you forget that, Spike old pal? Did you forget that she's essentially a serial killer in prison?" Xander demanded. "If it wasn't for that chip, we'd all be dead!"

Anya came over to Xander and put her hand on his arm. She wasn't sure what to say. As a former demon, she didn't see why Spike couldn't be with Buffy. After all, she had maimed, tortured and killed thousands of men over the years as a Vengeance Demon, and Xander didn't let that bother him. But she knew better than to express that to her boyfriend right now. Xander wasn't completely out of line though. What _if_ Buffy did go nuts and kill someone? What if it was her Xander Bear? Anya was confused. The important thing right now was to stop the two friends from fighting and calm things down for rational discussion.

"Honey, come on... stop," Anya said in a soft voice.

"Buffy's different now. Like Tara said, she's changed." Spike tried to keep his cool.

Xander laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah? Since when? When did you have this _big_ revelation about her? 'Cause last time I checked you hated her just as much as the rest of us. You know what's going to happen? I think it will go a little something like this: You get all lovey-dovey with the bleached wonder, she gets the chip out and goes on a killing spree starting with one of us! Which one of us will it be, buddy? Anyone want to place some bets?"

"That's NOT going to happen!" Spike was horror-struck. 

How could he make Xander understand the bond he felt with Buffy? What could he say to convince him of something that Spike couldn't logically explain himself? His instincts and gut told him that Buffy would never jeopardize their relationship, she wouldn't go back to her old ways. Why couldn't Xander trust him?

"It happened with Dru and it'll happen with her, too!" Xander said.

"No -- It -- Won't," Spike said slowly, grinding out each word. "You don't know anything." His jaw clenched.

"I know that you've got major vamp groupie issues, my friend. Here's a word of advice -- you're supposed to slay 'em, not fuck 'em!"

Spike's face colored with anger and embarrassment. The others looked back and forth like they were watching a tennis match as the two friends shouted at each other.

"Don't tell me how to do my fucking job! You have no idea what it's like... I know what my job is!" Spike fumed.

"That's the thing! I don't think you do! When Buffy starts killing again you won't have the guts to stake her before she racks up an impressive body count. Just like you couldn't do it when Drusilla went all evil!" Xander was on a roll.

"Xander... that's enough." Willow warned him.

"So that's what this is about? What happened with Dru? Buffy and Dru are two different people! She won't hurt anyone. She loves me."

Xander doubled over in laughter. "Oh God! Did she tell you that? You poor sap! She got you good, buddy! You actually believe her? You couldn't have been that desperate for a fuck! You did have a nice, _human_ girlfriend last time I checked. But I guess she's out of the picture now, right?"

"Shut up," Spike ground his teeth together.

"That's what Dru did too, isn't it? Told you how much she loved you. Next thing you know she's evil and killing our friends! You could have stopped her way before she --" Xander said.

To this day, Spike was deeply ashamed that he didn't take evil Dru down when he had the chance. 

He interrupted Xander, "Willow was able to restore her soul so -- "

"So? So nothing!" 

Xander's tirade was like a tiny snowball that started rolling down the side of a mountain, it rolled down, gathering more bulk and speed as it descended, it was turning into an avalanche. He couldn't stop himself now. 

"Let's ask Miss Calendar how happy she is about Dru and her shiny new soul! Oh, that's right, we can't! Because your girlfriend murdered her! If it wasn't for your --"

"Enough!" Giles shouted. Xander halted in mid-sentence. "That's _quite_ enough." Things had gotten too far out of hand. Giles massaged his temples.

Spike was devastated. The worst part was that he knew Xander was at least partly right. Tears popped up in his bright, blue eyes, his facial muscles twitched as he struggled not to break down in front of everyone. His complexion turned ashen.

"Spike? Are... you okay?" Tara asked with concern. She didn't like the look of his coloring.

Xander looked a bit shocked himself. He raised a shaky hand and ran it through his hair as he blew out a breath. He hadn't meant to say a lot of that. 

"Xander? Why don't you sit down..." Anya rubbed his back.

"Now... let's just take a few minutes here, guys." Willow tried to get control of the situation. "Things... were said. But it was in the heat of the moment. We said things we didn't mean --"

"He meant every word," Spike said in a rough voice. "Didn't you, Xan? Let me ask you a question. If I'm such a fuck up, if I'm such a lousy, piece of shit of a Slayer, why the hell do you hang around with me? If you really think I'm responsible for the murders Dru committed, how can you stand the fucking sight of me?!"

Xander looked closely at his best friend and saw how deeply wounded he was. Xander's anger fell away rapidly to be replaced with remorse. He didn't approve of Buffy, but he hadn't meant to hurt his friend like this. 

"Spike... man... I was just trying to... I didn't mean..." Xander shook his head.

"Yes -- You -- Fucking -- Did!" Spike cut him off. "And you know it. That's when the truth comes out, when your guard is down. Well, you know what? FUCK YOU!" Spike hissed. 

Xander flinched back. 

Spike stormed across the room to the exit. "If I want to be with Buffy, I'm going to be. End of story. No matter what any of you think."

"Spike! Don't go. Let's sort this out..." Willow's face was scrunched up in pain, it hurt her like crazy to see her friends fighting like this. She had no idea it would get this bad, she would have advised Spike to keep his relationship a secret if she had known.

He turned back to them. "I have to go. I have to get out of here," Spike's voice cracked. "At least now I know who I can count on around here. Who my _real_ friends are." 

He gave Xander a look that could kill before he stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Xander sat down, feeling numb and in shock. He knew that he'd fucked up, he had let his mouth run on too long. Even if he did believe what he'd said, there were some things best kept to yourself. He had hoped to talk Spike out of his foolhardy decision to date the pesky bleached vamp, but ended up insulting and hurting him instead. It hadn't gone the way he had hoped.

Xander put his head in his hands. Nobody said anything for the next few minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Spike hurried to the cemetery to see Buffy, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

He knew telling his friends would be hard, but he had no idea just how bad it was going to be. Xander still blamed him for the killings Dru did while soulless, for poor Miss Calendar's death. Did the rest of them feel the same way? Maybe they just didn't have the guts to say it. 

Spike wanted to run far, far away. Away from Sunnydale, away from his life as a Slayer. He imagined he and Buffy starting over somewhere fresh, where nobody knew them. But he'd already run away from his life and responsibilities once before, he couldn't do it again. He couldn't leave the people he loved to fend for themselves and worry about his welfare again.

Spike burst into the crypt. He needed to see Buffy, he needed to hold her more than ever, to reaffirm his feelings for her. The crypt appeared empty. Where could she be? His shoulders slumped.

"Buffy?" 

No one answered. 

Since he was alone, he allowed the tears he'd been holding back to flow. Spike sat down in Buffy's chair and put his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as he sobbed. He didn't know why his life had to suck all the time. He was the Chosen One, he was most likely going to die before the age of 25, he'd had to send his first love to Hell in order to save the world, he lost her again when she left him after she came back, he faced death everyday in his duty as the Slayer, his mother had been at death's door not long ago and now the people he cared about most in the world (or at least a few of them) violently disapproved of his choice in who he wanted to be with. Could Xander ever get over his objections? Could they still be friends? Would Giles treat him differently now?

"Luv?" 

Buffy poked her head out of a hole in the floor at the far end of the crypt. She thought she'd heard his voice. A wide smile appeared when she saw that he was indeed here. She had been so worried that they'd talk him out of being with her. Her smile faded when she saw his distraught state and his tears. Anger and concern made her feel like she was going to explode. 

_'What did those sods do to him?!'_ She quickly climbed up and made her way over to him, kneeling down at his feet.

"Shit. I didn't think you were here..." Spike wiped frantically at his eyes, feeling stupid for letting her see him cry. It wasn't terribly manly. 

"Spike-pet, what happened?" She stroked his knee and thigh.

"It didn't go well..." Spike said dejectedly. 

Buffy sat next to him on the chair and put her arms around him, she didn't know what to do and was desperate to make him feel better. She tried to think back to how she used to calm Angel down when he'd get in one of his "moods". If she could make loony Angel feel better, the Slayer should be a piece of cake.

"I'm sorry, luv." Her first instinct was to rip the throat out of whoever or whatever made him feel this bad... but she couldn't do that, for a variety of reasons. She'd have to settle for comforting her lover. "You want to tell me --"

"No. I don't want to talk about it… yet. You must think I'm a big ol' girly-man. Sitting here crying like a baby..." Spike laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, Spike. Everyone cries. Even a tough chit like me cries. You've seen it. You have to let it out every once in a while or you'll go mad." She fingered his blond curls. 

He lifted Buffy onto his lap and put his head on her shoulder. "I wish we could stay here like this..."

"We can for as long as you like, pet." Buffy ghosted her fingers along the side of his face. 

She felt like weeping herself. Seeing him like this not being able to fix it was killing her. Buffy remembered the night she found the Slayer sitting on his back porch crying, when he'd learned of his mother's illness, afraid for her life. Buffy had gone there to kill him -- originally -- but the moment she saw him, the only thing she wanted to do was make his pain stop, to make him smile again. 

"I love you," she said softly.

"I-I think I love you, too. But... I don't know what I feel. I know that's not what you want to hear..."

She looked at him and smiled. "Spike, I can wait until you're sure to hear it. I wouldn't want you to say it if you didn't mean it."

"What if I'm never sure? It... wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve someone who --"

"I -- love -- you. Understand? Being with you here, like this... holding each other..." Buffy took a deep breath to keep from getting too emotional, he didn't need her to get all blubbery on him in his fragile state. "It's more than I could ever ask for... I'll take whatever you can give me. I know you care about me and that's good enough."

He tilted his head up to press their lips together.

"Hey, you wanna see the renovations I've made downstairs?" she asked, trying to take his mind off his troubles, if only for a moment. "Very posh, if I do say so myself." 

"Sure," Spike said with a weak smile. He was emotionally exhausted.

"C'mon." She pulled him up and over to the hole in the floor and then climbed down. 

He followed her.

"Well? What do you think?" Buffy spread her arms wide.

Spike was impressed. There were a few lamps (how did she get electricity in here anyway?), a table, an over-stuffed chair, a few tapestries hanging on the walls, a makeshift bar and the most prominent feature, a huge bed, covered with cream-colored silk sheets. He smiled.

"Wow! Looks great, Buffy. Where'd you get all this stuff?" He looked at her suspiciously. "You didn't steal it, did you?"

"No. I scavenged it. Even did a few odd jobs for some blokes to get the dosh for some it. So, no law breaking was done by me... this time."

Spike smiled, pursing his lips. "Okay then. It does look good. Almost makes you forget you're surrounded by corpses..."

Buffy walked up to him and put her arms around him. "Your mates will come round, pet. They need time, is all."

"Maybe." He rested his forehead against hers. 

"We've got the tentative approval of your mum. And the Nibblet was practically doing bloody cartwheels. They're the most important ones to win over."

"Why does everything have to be such a struggle? Don't we have enough obstacles to get past without my friends giving us a hard time? I knew it was going to be bad..."

"Did they change your mind about anything? Do you still want me? And keep in mind that if you say that you've decided not to give us a go, you can just --" she swallowed hard, "-- just bloody well stake me right now."

Spike pulled her against him tightly and kissed her deeply. He wanted her to know he still felt the same way about her. He finally broke the kiss. 

"Does that answer your question?" He smiled.

"Yeah, I s'pose it does," she panted for unneeded breath. 

She grinned and plastered her lips back on his. She wanted him so much -- he was like a drug to her. Only a short time without touching him and she had been climbing the walls. She needed her fix in the form of a Hot Spike Injection. She pulled his t-shirt out of the waistband of his jeans. 

He put his hands on hers to stop her. "Buffy... I don't think I can right now. I still want you, but I'm just..."

"S'okay, luv." Buffy hid her disappointment. 

She wanted him bad -- but the scene with his friends (she just knew that the Whelp was the main one who upset him... the wanker) had taken a lot out of him. She could wait until he was in the mood.

"Can we just..." Spike looked at the bed. "Could we lay here, together... for a while?" he asked, looking apologetic.

Buffy smiled and kissed him softly. "Anything you want, Spike-pet." 

They got on the bed and laid down together. She laid in his arms with a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating reassuringly under her palm. She felt more at peace than she could ever remember being. Having this was even better than the sex...well, this was good, too. It proved that she was more than just a good -- make that a great -- fuck to him. She cuddled up against him, a sigh of contentment escaping her lips. They were quiet for a few minutes.

"I can't believe the way Xander talked to me..." Spike said quietly.

"What'd he say?"

"Oh, he said lots of stuff. Lots of nasty, shitty stuff. One thing was that you'd get the chip out and start killing again." Spike couldn't say that he hadn't had the same thought. He prayed she wouldn't, but...

Buffy clenched her teeth but thought of the lessons she'd learned from her anger management tapes she'd been listening to. 

_'Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean -- blue like my Slayer's eyes...'_ She breathed in and out, feeling the anger melting away. 

"He said that, did he? Well, what's he know? I could give a toss about the Whelp's opinion, he can go get stuffed. The question is, do you think I'd do that?" She looked up at him.

"I... want to believe that you wouldn't."

Buffy raised up on one elbow and looked down at him. "I'm tellin' you now, Slayer, I'd be free of one bloody inconvenient government chip... but _nothing_ could make me risk what we have. Nothing."

"Can you really do it? Go against your nature like that? It wouldn't be easy..." Spike's breathing was becoming more labored, the intensity of her gaze was heating him up from the inside out. She meant what she was saying, he could tell.

"For you? God, pet... I'd move the Heavens and the bloody Earth for you. I love you. I won't make you regret being with me." Buffy's eyes were alight with love and passion.

Spike hadn't thought he was going to be up to anything tonight, but he was getting turned on by the depth of her feelings for him. It was true that Buffy was not a typical vampire, she broke all the rules. If any of them could go against their demon, it was her.

He put his hand on the side of her face and brought her down to his mouth. They kissed and touched each other lightly. Buffy smiled when she felt his cock getting hard against her thigh. 

"Pet, I thought you didn't want to..." 

"Changed my mind... Slayer's purgative." He kissed her neck softly.

Buffy laughed. "You mean prerogative?" He was just too cute.

Spike raised his head to look at her. "Here's a tip: Correcting my grammar? Not sexy." He winked.

He did find it sexy. Buffy had hid her smarts for a long time behind her tough, street-wise exterior. Spike liked the thought of being with a woman who was intelligent as well as physically attractive.

"I don't know. I could be the naughty English teacher, you could be my recalcitrant student... who needs some _special_ attention..." She curled her tongue behind her teeth.

"Recalcitrant, eh? I'll pretend I know what that means... Am I a bad boy?" He traced her jugular with his tongue.

"Ahhh -- Oh yeah, you're soooo bad, luv." Buffy closed her eyes. "Might have to use the paddle on you..."

Spike's dick stood up and saluted. He'd really enjoyed spanking her last night while they fucked (had it only been last night since they first got together?) he wondered what it would be like for her to do that to him... Would he like being on the receiving end, too? He had a sneaking suspicion that he would. He rolled her over on her back and kissed her passionately as they pulled at each other's clothes.

* * *

"Stupid, dumb Slayer..." Riley mumbled into his beer. "Thinks he can take my Platinum Baby away from me. Well, I'll show him." 

Spike probably used some kind of eerie, Slayer mind-control power to make Buffy fall for him -- and to make her call out his name when Riley was making sweet love to her. That really burned him up. Why couldn't Buffy be happy with him? He did everything with her happiness in mind.

"Hey, I don't want no trouble," Willy said nervously.

"Oh, there's gonna be trouble, all right! I'm going to --" Riley said menacingly.

"Not you, Einstein," Willy said. "I was talking to her." Willy pointed to the entrance of the bar.

Riley turned on the barstool and saw the Slayer's girlfriend, Suzy or Amy or something like that. She was outfitted in dark-green combat fatigues and holding a large gun.

"How's business, Willy?" Sam asked, fingering the barrel of her weapon.

"Uh... not bad. You... want a drink? On the house, of course. And how's the Slayer? You two make such a --"

"He's an idiot! We're not together anymore," Sam shouted. 

Everyone in the bar froze. A pissed off woman wearing army fatigues and carrying an automatic weapon spelled trouble. Some of the customers discreetly slipped out the back.

Sam looked at Riley, he thought he might piss himself. She narrowed her eyes. 

"You. I know you. You shot me with a crossbow. You're Buffy's not-so-little friend."

"Um... Hi! How are you? You seem all better now, good for you! I'll just be going now, I have a doctor's appointment..." Riley tried to breeze past her but she blocked his path.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Her eyes glinted dangerously. "I need to have a little chat with her."

"I-I don't know. And I don't care!" he said haughtily. "It's all that asshole Slayer's fault! Oh! I hate him so much! He made my Blondie Bear turn on me! She kicked me out..." Riley hung his head. "She said his name when we were... together..." he whispered.

Sam felt something she never thought she would for a creature like Riley. Sympathy. 

"Sorry. Those two... they don't know enough to stay away from each other. Maybe... we could help them understand."

Riley looked up at her. "You... and me?" he squeaked. 

He wasn't too keen on spending another minute near the trigger happy woman. Although, if she had a plan to break up the Slayer and Buffy, it might be worth the risk. She wasn't too bad looking either... actually kind of hot -- for a weak human.

"You up for it? Seems like you'd like a little slice of vengeance yourself?" she asked. Sam thought it was a shame that a handsome guy like Riley had been vamped. He looked so wholesome, or at least he probably had been once. 

"Yes. I'll do anything to get Buffy back." He brushed his floppy dark-blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Can't say much for your taste in women, but you're welcome to help. One thing though, if you try to bite me, you're toast."

"No biting! I swear! Scout's honor!"

"You were a scout?"

"No, but I ate one once." He laughed. He stopped abruptly when she scowled at him. "Kidding! Just kidding! Just a little... vampire humor. So... uh, what do we do about them?"

"Let's go somewhere... more private to talk." 

Sam planned on exterminating the pest that was Buffy with extreme prejudice. But Riley didn't have to know that. He could prove useful setting Buffy up for the fall. Maybe she'd put Riley out of his misery too when this was over. 

They walked out of the bar together.

* * *

Spike and Buffy laid on the bed in post-coital bliss.

"Mmmm, pet." She kissed and nibbled at his earlobe. "Brilliant, as always. Too bad fucking isn't an Olympic event. We'd win the gold..." He grinned at her. "You wanna try to get some sleep?" 

"I can't stay," Spike said regretfully. "I'd like to, but I've got to take that test tomorrow. And Mom would be worried if I didn't come home."

"I understand..." She did. But she didn't have to like it. She wanted her beautiful, blond Slayer to stay here in her arms. 

"Maybe tomorrow night." He brushed her hair away from her face.

"It's nice... waking up with you."

"Yeah. I liked waking up next to you, too." Spike grinned and kissed her. He groaned as he got out of bed and started getting dressed. 

Buffy watched him dress with a small smile on her face. 

He bent down for one last kiss. She fought the urge to grab onto him and keep him here with her, making love all night like they did before.

"I'll come by after school tomorrow, if nothing apocalypsy comes up," he joked.

"See you then, Spike-pet." She smirked. 

Spike climbed up to the first level and out of the crypt.

Buffy sighed, missing his body next to hers already. 

"Come on. Toughen up!" she said, talking to herself. "You're over a hundred bloody years old. You can spend one night without him... Without his arms around you, without his heart beating like a drum against your body, without feeling his skin sliding... Oh, for fuck's sake!" 

She punched her pillow. Then rolled over and attempted to get some sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

The next day, Spike, Willow and Tara sat at a table at the Espresso Pump after classes. 

Spike hadn't said much since they sat down. He was preoccupied, worried that he would run into Sam today.

"How did you do on the test?" Tara asked him, trying to draw him into conversation.

"Hmm? Oh, the test. I probably failed it," he said, taking a sip of his espresso.

"Don't be such a Negative Nelly!" Willow scolded him. "You know the material, I'm sure you did fine." 

Spike shrugged.

"Spike, are you okay?" Tara asked gingerly.

"Not really... Last night really shook me up," he sighed.

"Xander's sorry he went off like that. He said so." Willow fiddled with a napkin. She wanted to get her friends to make nice.

"I don't care. I'm too pissed off at him right now." Spike frowned.

"Give him a chance to --" Willow began.

"A chance to do what? Tell me how crazy I am again? Tell me my girlfriend is evil and should be dusted? Or that I'm a lousy Slayer and my fuck-ups cause people to die?" he said sarcastically. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"You're not going to forgive him? Spike... we've been friends for a long time."

"I know, Wills." He held her hand. "I wouldn't even be alive today if it weren't for you guys. I love Xander like a brother... but I can't be around him. Not now."

"But maybe... in the future?" she asked.

"Maybe," he said noncommittally.

"Hey." Sam walked up to their table and greeted them with an awkward smile.

"Sam... Hi! How... are you?" Willow asked.

"I'm... doing okay. How are you guys?" She glanced at Spike.

"Fine," Tara said.

"I'm good," Spike said quietly.

"Um, Spike? Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" Sam bit her lip.

"S-sure." He got up and collected his knapsack and cup. "I'll talk to you guys later," he said to Willow and Tara over his shoulder.

"Bye..." Willow and Tara said.

Sam and Spike walked out of the shop together.

* * *

"What's, uh, on your mind?" Spike asked nervously, as they walked along the path together.

"I just wanted to say... I still like you, Spike," Sam said. "I admire you a lot too. I hope we can still be friends."

He looked at her, slightly in shock. He didn't expect to hear that. Curses and epithets maybe, but not that. “Really? You're okay with us... not being together?" 

"If I had a choice? Yes, I'd want to work it out with you... but I still think you're an amazing person. I'd still like to have you in my life."

"Wow, Sam... You're one hell of a woman... I'm... sorry that things didn't work out for us. But I know you'll find that certain someone too."

"Too?" she played dumb, her fingernails dug into her palms.

"Uh... You know, we're all looking for that person that... fits us like a glove. Hopefully, we'll all find the one we belong with, the long haul guy or gal." 

He could kick himself for slipping up. Somehow he didn't think that Sam would be quite as cordial if she knew that he was already in another relationship -- and with Buffy, at that.

Samantha Smith smiled wanly, then offered, "Yeah, hopefully."

"I'd still like to be your friend, too." He smiled. "Listen, I have to get home. My mom wanted me to fix the screen door on the porch, but... I'm glad we talked." 

"Me too, Spike. I'll see you soon." She walked down the path to the left and waved at him. 

Spike waved back, breathing a sigh of relief. He was surprised and impressed with Sam's attitude. She was going to make some guy very happy someday (as long as the guy didn't want a blowjob). He walked to the bus stop to get a ride home. He wanted his own car desperately, but never could manage to pass the damn driver's test.

Sam watched Spike walk away, her previously happy and forgiving demeanor was long gone. 

_'He believed me. Step one is accomplished. I'll have to do some work to totally convince him that I want to be his friend, but I can do that. I'll take care of Step 2 tonight and Riley is going to start Step 3. So far, so good. I will have my man back. And most of all, Buffy will pay for meddling in my life.'_

A slow smile spread over her face at the thought of what she had in store for the vampire. She couldn't wait…

* * *

At a little after 5 o'clock, Spike ran into Buffy's crypt, slightly out of breath from running across town and racing a cruel bus driver who was known around the Espresso Pump as "the ass with gas". 

Buffy stood up from her chair and smiled. Her whole body thrummed with excitement in his presence.

"Sorry, I'm later than I thought I'd be."

"All that matters is that you're here now, luv." She sauntered over to him. 

They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed hungrily, running their hands over the other's body. She was able to pretend otherwise, but she'd been practically chewing her nails to the nubs waiting for him. She was ready to bolt out of the crypt and find him as soon as the sun set enough to allow her to travel freely. 

He pulled back. "I can't stay," he said breathlessly.

"Say that again?"

"Uh, I said I can't stay. I'm sorry, it's not my choice."

"Someone puttin' a gun to your head, babe?" she asked, annoyed.

"My mom wants to have a 'family night'. Just the three of us. I can't back out of it. I'll make it up to you." 

Buffy turned and walked away a few steps. She had been very amiable and easy going since they'd gotten together, biting her tongue and making an extra effort not to let her temper get the better of her. This time she couldn't hide her displeasure. She had been looking forward to seeing him and spending the night with him so much. She also felt some irrational jealousy/hurt that she wasn't included in any Summers family activities. Wasn't she his girlfriend now? Shouldn't she be there too?

"So basically, you came here just to tell me you couldn't stay?" she asked lighting up a smoke, flipping her Zippo open and closed with sharp flicks of her wrist.

"What else was I going to do? You don't have a phone."

"Fine." She got a bottle of vodka out of the mini-fridge then walked over to her chair, flopping down to watch some TV. "Run on home then."

"What? You're mad?" Spike asked. It wasn't like this was his fault. Hadn't she been listening to him?

"Nope. Don't know how you got that impression. I'm just dandy." She took a swig of vodka.

"I explained it to you. I _have_ to be there. Mom was pretty cool about us. If she wants a family night, then I think I owe her that," Spike reasoned.

"You still here?" Buffy said, not taking her eyes off the television.

"Great. You want to act like a spoiled brat? Fine. Sorry I even fucking bothered to tell you!" He stormed out, slamming the door.

"Bollocks." Buffy blew out a puff of smoke. "Now he's pissed at me." 

Upon reflection, she regretted throwing the small temper tantrum. She tried to think reasonably. 

"He really was disappointed that he couldn't stay... He's not purposely tryin' to stay away... it's a family thing. With any luck I'll be included in those... eventually. But... not if I act like a prat. I'll stop by the house later. Make up with him. Hmm, make up sex... we haven't had that yet..." 

She sank into the chair, closing her eyes and thinking of all the things she wanted to do to him. She'd make up for her fit of pique any way he wanted.

* * *

Riley spotted the Slayer leaving the cemetery in a huff. 

_'Aw, trouble in paradise?'_ He giggled, clapping a hand over his mouth. 

It wouldn't do for Spike to notice him. Not yet. Riley hoped that Sam (or Samantha, as he preferred to call her, it was just a lot prettier) would keep her promise and protect him from the Slayer. 

He continued on into the cemetery, choosing a good hiding place so that he could watch Buffy's crypt. He got out the little notepad Samantha had given him and noted the time he saw Spike leave.

* * *

Sam walked around the old factory, inspecting it. 

It was the same factory that Buffy and Angel had used as a lair when they first came to Sunnydale. The building was run down, but still appeared to be structurally sound. It would be suitable for her purposes. 

Now to clean it up a bit and get the equipment she needed set up. She got out her cell phone on the way back to her car and started calling some of her friends from the Initiative who were still hanging around Sunnydale. She was sure they'd be willing to lend a hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Spike tried all night not to let on how upset he was about his and Buffy's spat. 

His mom and Dawn didn't seem to suspect. He and Buffy had arguments in the past that were much louder and much more violent than the one they had today, but this was the first since they were together. Why couldn't she try to understand the position he was in? Like he'd choose watching 'The Sound of Music' with Dawn and Joyce over a night of hot, wild sex. 

He loved his family, but hot, wild sex with the woman he... cared for, was going to win hands down every time. Why was she being such a jerk about it?

At 11 o'clock, Spike was taking the trash out to the curb for his mother. They had a nice time tonight. They had some good Chinese takeout, talking and joking around before settling down for a nightcap of uncensored yodeling.

Spike hated that movie, way too sugary for his taste -- but he enjoyed his mother and Dawn’s company. The blond Slayer appreciated these family nights that much more after Joyce's illness. And with Glory still hanging around, Dawn was in grave danger. Who knew what would happen tomorrow? One of them might not be around to enjoy another family night. He wished that Buffy could understand that.

"Hey." 

Spike looked up to where he heard the voice coming from. 

Drusilla stepped out of the shadows with a smile on her face. She was dressed all in black (slacks, button-up shirt and her long black coat). Her dark-brown hair was done up immaculately, as usual, tight ringlets spilled over her shoulders and down her back.

"Dru?" He was shocked to see her. "Wh-what are you doing in Sunnydale?" It was good to see her. Spike couldn't help the way he always lit up when she was near. 

"I had a little business to take care of in town... I thought I'd stop by and say hello. Hello." She grinned.   
Spike looked as good as ever, maybe even better than ever to her. He was wearing those button-fly jeans that fit him oh-so-damned-well and a blue t-shirt. He'd never looked more edible.

"That's... great. It's nice to see you. You want to come in?" Spike put the trash bag down next to the driveway.

"I can't stay long... Do you, uh... Would you like to take a walk? We could catch up a little bit." 

Seeing Joyce wasn't a top priority for the ensouled nosferatu. It was clear as Viennese crystal that the matriarch of the Summers clan wasn't Dru's biggest fan.

“Sure, yeah. Let me just grab my jacket and let Mom know where I’m going. You know how she worries.” He smiled lopsidedly and jogged up to the house.

Dru sighed, watching his pert ass as he went up to the house. _‘Like two cats trying to fight their way out of a paper bag... Mother Mary, the lad has a fine ass...’_

She’d been thinking about him a lot lately. It hurt to see him and know she couldn’t have him, but torturing herself was one of the things she was best at since she'd gotten the soul.

* * *

Spike and Dru walked in the park, side by side. 

“How’s LA?” he asked. It was hard to talk about her new life, the life she’d left him to start, but he still cared about her. He wanted to know if she was happy.

“It’s okay. Crowded. Lots of demon activity to keep me busy. Traffic is a nightmare. But all in all, it’s a good place to be.” She smiled at him.

“How’s ‘Guardian Angel Investigations’ doing?” Spike asked, referring to the detective agency Dru had started in LA. “Do you get a lot of business?”

“It’s going well. We get our fair share of business. The money isn’t _pouring_ in, but it’s enough to keep us afloat. I’ve helped a lot of people, that’s really the important thing.”

“Good... I’m glad.”

They sat down on a bench and looked up at the stars.

“How is everyone?” Dru asked. 

“Oh... they’re fine.” Spike didn’t want to get into the drama that happened yesterday. Dru didn’t need to know about all that. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Dru about him and Buffy. She wouldn’t like it at all and he wanted her brief visit to be pleasant.

They were quiet for a few moments. Dru chuckled.

"What's funny?" Spike asked, smiling.

“I was just thinking... about our first kiss. That was some night.”

“Which part? The part where we actually kissed or afterwards, when you went into game face and I screamed like a woman?” 

They laughed.

“The kiss part. It was memorable...”

“Yeah, it was.” Spike remembered how much he wanted her back then. She was so beautiful and mysterious. She still was.

“How’s... Sam?” Dru asked, making her dislike of his new girlfriend apparent by the tone of her voice.

“We... aren‘t together anymore. It didn't work out.”

“Oh?!” she said happily. “I mean, oh?” she said with mock seriousness. 

He nodded.

“I’m... sorry to hear that. She seemed... nice,” Dru said.

“Yeah, I can tell you’re real broken up about it.” He smirked.

“I am sorry that you’re alone. You deserve to be happy, Spike.” She put her hand on his and looked him in the eyes. She was so conflicted. She wanted him to move on and have a good life, but she was also was terribly jealous when he tried to do exactly that.

Spike was considering telling her about his relationship with Buffy when a male vampire walked towards them in game face.

“Well, well! What do we have here?” The vamp grinned, licking his chops. “Young lovers out for a midnight stroll. They’re always so tasty!” 

The vamp was dismayed by his prey’s reactions. 

Dru sighed and Spike rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the horror-stricken, 'Oh my God, we're gonna die!' reaction he had been shooting for.

“First of all, it’s not midnight, it’s 11:30. And second, do you mind? We were having a conversation here?” Drusilla said with impatience.

“Yeah, could you maybe do a lap around the park and come back? We’ll still be here. Promise,” Spike chimed in with the trademark style of humor that was so often hidden from those in his overt circle.

“What?” the slow-witted vamp squinted. He puffed himself up. “You dare mock me, you pitiful mortals?!” he said in a growl.

Dru and Spike burst out laughing. 

“I like him!” Dru wiped at a tear. “He’s cute. Don’t kill him, Spike. Let’s keep him around for comic relief.”

“Wish I could,” Spike sighed and stood up. “But there’s the whole sacred calling thing, you know...” Spike went into a fighting stance. “Sorry, buddy. For what it‘s worth, your comic stylings were enjoyed by all,” Spike said to the vamp before punching him in the face. 

The vampire flew backwards in the air, Spike went after him.

Dru sat back to enjoy the show. She loved watching him kick some ass. Spike was so agile, so lithe... He was poetry in motion. She was getting more than a little turned on as she remembered the way his hot, tight, naked, muscular body felt against hers the night of his 17th birthday. The night they had made love for the first and last time. Going evil and losing her soul as a result of her moment of ‘perfect happiness’ kind of put a damper on any future sex. How she longed to touch and hold him again, to feel his strong hands and sumptuous lips gliding over her body. There were so many things that they never got the chance to try...

Another vamp dropped down out of a tree and onto Spike’s back. 

With an “Ooomph!” Spike was knocked to the ground on his stomach. The two vampires descended upon him, managing to pin him. 

Spike bucked and thrashed under them, attempting to throw them off. His eyes widened in fear when he couldn’t budge them. The vampire on his back opened it’s mouth wide and dropped down towards the back of Spike’s neck. Spike cried out in frustration, rage and pain when he felt the vamp’s fangs against his neck.

Dru was off the bench in a flash and raced to help her ex-lover. She tore the vamp off of his back and flung it with crushing force into a large tree, impaling it on a conveniently protruding branch, causing it to burst into a cloud of dust. It was a merciful end for a vampire who dared attempt to taste what she herself had marked primally as her own.

"Well, that was handy!" Dru quipped. When she turned back to take care of the remaining vamp, she saw that Spike had already dusted it. 

“Shit!” Spike was breathing hard. “Thanks, Dru. Don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight... It shouldn’t have been that hard.” 

“Thank God I was here. If anything happened to you...” She sniffed the air, smelling his blood. “One of them hurt you.” She rushed over to him. There was blood running down the side of his neck. “You were bitten?”

“I think it’s just scratched.” Spike put his hand on his neck, it came away with a fair amount of blood. “Shit. Wish I could kill the son of a bitch again.”

“Let me see.” Dru examined his neck. 

The smell and sight of his potent Slayer blood; the way he looked; her fear of him being hurt; her still deep, undying love for him; all of it combined to make her feel light-headed with lust. She needed to hold him, to taste him again. She pressed herself up against him and snaked out her tongue to lap at the deep scrapes on his tender throat. The taste of his blood made her tighten her grip on him and her eyes roll up, wetness gushed between her legs.

“Dru!” he gasped when he felt her tongue on him. “What -- what are you doing?!” His eyes fluttered shut, he couldn’t help the involuntary shudder of desire that wracked his body.

“Shhh. It’ll help it heal faster...” she whispered, continuing to lick his neck sensuously and grinding her hips slightly against him.

Her hand drifted down his chest to the button-fly of his blue jeans. She loved when he wore these kind of jeans. He looked so good, so delicious. She rubbed his bulge lightly, feeling it grow under her palm.

Spike was reeling. Seeing Dru again was difficult enough, but having her wrapped around him, holding him so close and so tight, licking his neck -- it brought back a flood of memories both sweet and unbearably painful. He was lost to the sensations shooting through his body. Fights always made him hungry and horny, just like another Slayer that shall remain nameless.

Dru moved her mouth quickly from his neck to his lips, she kissed him zealously, thrusting her tongue between his parted lips. 

Spike moaned. An image of Buffy suddenly popped into his head, snapping him out of the stupor he was in. His eyes flew open. He took Dru by the shoulders and held her away from him.

“Stop!” He backed away, running a hand through his hair. “We can’t! I can’t!”

Dru snapped out of her daze too, cursing herself for losing control, it was so easy to do around him. She rubbed her forehead, it was bumpy. 

“Spike, I’m sorry. I... got carried away... I didn’t come here to... I know it’s too tempting with the curse..." Dru stammered in uncharacteristic uncertainty as she fought to maintain her human visage.

“It has nothing to do with that.” He held the injured side of his neck.

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“I’m... with someone,” Spike said looking away from her. He had to tell her about Buffy. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“You’ve got someone else? Not Sam?” Dru said with a touch of jealousy. “Anyone I know?”

He braced himself. “I’m seeing Buffy.”

Dru looked behind her, misunderstanding him. Her brain couldn’t comprehend any other meaning. “Where?”

“No, Dru. Buffy and I are dating. Well, we haven’t actually gone out on a real date yet, although having pizza with Mom and Dawnie could count..."

She stared at him incredulously. “You’re joking? Spike, tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking. I care for her. She loves me. We're together.” 

“Are you... insane?! Buffy!? Where do I even begin to list the reasons why it’s wrong?”

“You sound just like Xander,” Spike said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, Xander is 100% right! Wow, never thought I’d say that...” 

“I don’t need to be lectured by you too. I’m heading back home.” Spike turned and started walking away. 

Dru followed him.

“So everyone else is telling you the same thing? Hey, maybe there’s a reason for that! Like you’ve taken a giant leap away from your good senses!”

“Leave me alone, Dru.” Spike stopped and turned to her. “And it’s really none of your business anymore, is it? You left me, remember? I can see anyone I choose to.” 

“I left you so you could have a normal life and you take up with Buffy? The original bad seed?”

Spike was getting aggravated. “As I recall, you didn’t give me a vote when you left ‘for my own good‘,” Spike spat out as he made air quotes and continued, “which we both know is total bullshit! You left because you didn’t want to be tempted into making love with me again. You couldn’t handle it, so you took off.”

“Did you fuck her?!” Dru grit her teeth.

“Again with the 'none of your business'. You don't really want me to answer that, do you?”

“How can you be so stupid? Not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you?” Dru was practically vibrating with rage. The thought of Buffy daring to touch him made her borrowed blood boil in her veins. He was hers, she had marked him.

“Oh, yes! Drusilla the Wise speaks!” he said sarcastically. “Tell me the error of my ways, O Wise One!” He pursed his lips. “You don’t think much of me, as a person, outside of the Slayer gig, do you? You can be so... fucking condescending! When you broke up with me, all that was missing was a little pat on the top of my head before you told me to toddle off.”

“I love you. I’ll always love you,” she said roughly.

Spike’s features softened slightly. “Part of me will always love you too. But it’s over. You were my first love. But I’m not dead, Dru. I want to live and make my own decisions about my life.”

“It’s like you’re spitting in my face! After the sacrif-“

“Don’t say it! ‘Your sacrifice’? You’re just too noble for words. Sacrifice, my ass!”

“You’re with her to get back at me? That’s it, isn’t it?”

He barked with laughter. “Ha! God, Dru, everything in the whole world isn’t about you! The world doesn’t revolve around you. Some people actually make decisions based on their own feelings, not on how it will affect you.”

“Look who’s talking! You’re one of the most self-involved people I’ve ever met!” she struck back.

“Whatever, Dru,” Spike said tiredly before turning to continue the walk home.

“She’s a killer, Spike. You’re going to be very sorry...”

“I’m a killer, you’re a killer, she’s a killer... wouldn’t you like to be a killer too?” He laughed without humor. “She’s trying to change her ways, Dru. And I’m going to help her.”

“She _can’t_ change! She doesn’t have a soul.”

Spike stopped again and, turning to face Dru, threw his hands up in the air. “You know what? I’m done with this conversation. I'm tired of having to justify making my own decisions to everyone. I’m going home. I think that you should go back to LA if you’ve finished your business in town. I mean, if you really did have another reason to be here besides dangling your wonderful self in front of my nose, just out of reach.”

“I’m not going to let you make the biggest mistake of your life,” Dru said dangerously.

"Is that a threat? What do you mean by that, exactly?" Spike narrowed his eyes.

"Damn it, Spike! What's wrong with you? Can't you see what a bad idea this is?" Dru said in exasperation.

"Go back to LA, Dru. You can't talk me out of this. You gave up any right you had to tell me how to live my life when you left. I’m with Buffy. You can’t change that. And if you go near her...” he trailed off, an edge to his voice. “Just stay away from her. Goodbye, Dru. Have a safe trip.” 

He walked away at a brisk pace.

Drusilla watched him walk away. She yelled after him, “You stupid, stupid man! You want me gone? Fine! I'll go and I won't come back! Just don't come crying to me when the worst happens! Do you hear me?! She's going to hurt you!” 

Spike kept walking.

Dru's shoulders slumped. "Why the hell did I come back here? Oh yeah, the penchant for torturing myself... keep forgetting about that," she mumbled, walking back to Willy's where she'd left her car. 

She'd go back to LA and wait -- wait for the inevitable call that would come. Spike would get his heart broken by Buffy somehow, some way, eventually... 

Dru sighed. She knew, damn well, that despite what she'd said, she would come to him if he needed her, if he asked her to. She forgot just how young and naive he really was sometimes...

* * *

_A little while earlier..._

Buffy got impatient to see Spike. She had to apologize for getting bitchy with him. He was just trying to be a nice bloke and spend some time with his family. As much as she wished it were so, she couldn’t monopolize all his free time.

She hurried to Revello Drive, hoping he would talk to her. She knocked on the front door. Joyce opened it a moment later.

“Hello, Buffy.” Joyce smiled.

“Hey, Joyce. Is your eldest around? I need to talk to him.”

“He went for a walk a little while ago. Probably doing a little patrolling before bed. Is everything all right?” 

Spike hadn’t mentioned that he was taking a walk with Drusilla to Joyce. He knew that his mother would be worried if she knew his former lover was back in town.

“Yeah, fine. I just... wanted to see him.” 

“Maybe you can catch up with him,” Joyce said helpfully.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks. See ya, Joyce.”

“Have a nice night, Buffy.”

Buffy walked to the end of the yard. He couldn’t have been on his way to see her, they would have passed each other. She sniffed the air for his scent. She smiled when she caught a faint whiff of his unique fragrance and started off in that direction. 

Buffy was so focused on finding him and only him, that she missed the other familiar scent on the air. That of her dear old Grandsire.

She entered the park looking for him. She stopped short and the smile dropped off her face when she saw Spike and -- Dru embracing. 

Dru was wrapped around him. Dru was humping against him like a bitch in heat while she had her face buried in his neck. One of Dru's hands cupped his bulge, rubbing and squeezing. And he wasn’t resisting. 

Buffy felt bile rise in her throat when Dru crushed her lips against Spike‘s. Buffy spun around with her hand over her mouth, willing herself not to vomit, and started jogging then running away from the gut-wrenching sight. Tears of pain and rage poured down her face. The urge to go back and rip them both apart with her bare hands was strong. But she kept running. 

Buffy ran all the way back to the crypt. She tried her anger management technique:

"Calm blue ocean! Calm blue ocean! Calm blue o-OH SOD IT!" 

She tilted her face up to the ceiling and let out an inhuman shriek that would have frightened any creature within earshot, before proceeding to demolish the upper level of her crypt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Spike tossed and turned in bed. 

His run-in with Dru and the resulting argument had him feeling agitated and restless. But first and foremost, he missed Buffy. The slight indiscretion he’d had with Dru made him shudder with guilt, for he knew that he had just lost his head for a minute with her. His body had remembered how wonderful her touch felt and went on autopilot, taking over his brain for a brief moment. But it was Buffy that he wanted to be with now. He was sure of it.

With a groan, he sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. 

“I have to see her,” he said, standing up to get dressed.

* * *

Buffy was sitting in her chair in front of her smashed television set, finishing another bottle of vodka. She wanted to get good and numb.

Spike walked in quietly. “Hey.”

She tensed when she heard his voice.

“I... uh, hope you don’t mind me coming here so late... I wanted to see you.” He walked over to the chair. “Wh-what happened here?” he said looking at the mess. “Are you hurt? Did something attack you?!”

“I did it. Now, piss off. I don’t want you here.” She turned her face away from him.

“Come on, Buffy. Don’t tell me you’re still mad that I couldn't stay? I’m sorry, okay? Can’t we just... get past this?” 

As he spoke, Spike glanced quickly around the crypt. He was surprised their fight angered her enough to destroy her home like this. Even her precious telly hadn‘t escaped her wrath.

Buffy clenched her teeth and stood up. “Why don’t you go find Dru? Cause I’m not buyin’ what you’re sellin’ anymore, pet,” she spat. She pushed by him to the refrigerator.

Spike’s mouth was agape, his eyes wide with shock. _‘Why did she say that? How did she know Dru was in town?’_

“What... are you talking about?” he said slowly.

“I fucking saw you, so don’t bother denyin’ it or lying to me! Did you have a nice shag? Is she all evil and soulless again?” 

“Buffy... I --“

“Don’t! Just get the fuck out of my sight! You were playin’ me all along and I was too stupid to see it.” She laughed. "You couldn't have her, so you settled for ol' Buffy!"

“That’s not true! I... really care about you. Let me explain, please!”

“Save it! I don’t want to hear your bloody excuses!”

“Goddamn it, Buffy! Will you listen to me?!” 

“Talk to my ass, my head’s had enough!” Buffy dropped back into her chair, taking a large gulp of vodka.

“Dru showed up out of the blue. She asked me to take a walk, we were just talking.”

“That’s funny. It looked a lot more like dry humping and Frenching to me.”

Spike sighed. “We got attacked in the park by two vamps! They got the best of me and I got hurt." Buffy looked up in unguarded concern as Spike continued, "Um, just a little bit. Dru was checking the marks on my neck when... things got out of hand.”

The British babe laughed bitterly. “Ha! Is that what you call it? Looked like she had everything _well_ in hand to me...” Buffy sneered and lowered her gaze to his groin.

“Look.” Spike moved his shirt collar to reveal a white bandage on the side of his neck. He peeled it down to show her two deep cuts.

Buffy felt another pang of concern, but quickly pushed it back down before her emotion for the Slayer overrode her instinct for self-preservation. 

“So, that grievous injury excuses you for sucking face with that bitch?”

“No!” Spike replaced the bandage and starting pacing back and forth. “That’s not what I’m saying. Didn’t you see when I pushed her away, when I put a stop to it?”

“Can’t say that I did. You were pretty into it. Get out.”

“Buffy... I’m so sorry you had to see that. I never meant for it to happen. It will never happen again, I promise. I stopped it as soon as I realized what was happening. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Fuck you and sod off, not necessarily in that order.” She took another swig.

Spike's eyes burned with tears. “What can I do? What can I say? Tell me!” 

He took one of her hands in his and crouched down to her eye level. Buffy tried pulling her hand away with a snarl, but Spike wouldn't let go. He held her hand against the center of his chest, she could feel his heart thumping away beneath the surface. 

“When Dru was kissing me, I thought of you... that’s what snapped me out of it. I don’t want her, I want you. I swear, it'll never happen again. Please, Buffy...”

Buffy fought back her own tears. He looked so sincere. But she was hurting so bad. “I don’t care. I want you out of here. Don’t come back... 'cause I can‘t take it.”

Spike stared at her a moment then slowly stood. “Okay... I guess... I did it again. I-I’m always fucking things up. I just did it a little quicker than usual this time.” 

Spike sighed in defeat before he walked to the crypt entranceway, dragging his feet. He opened the door and stood there in the moonlight. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, then left the crypt. 

The sound of the door closing was deafening, it sounded so final.

Spike’s heart ached as he walked amongst the gravestones. The last few days had been a whirlwind of happiness and despair. Right now despair reigned supreme. He’d only walked for a minute or two when he had to sit down, his legs felt too rubbery, his stomach roiled, his chest felt constricted. He sat down on a stone monument, resting his elbows on his knees, he put his face in his hands, letting his tears of frustration and regret go. He’d ruined another relationship. He had hurt her so much. And everyone had been so worried about her hurting him...

“I’m crying again, great. God, I’m turning into a fucking wuss,” Spike sobbed.

* * *

Buffy stayed in the chair for a few minutes after he left, weighing the implications of what she'd seen against her Spike's -- make that Spike's -- explanation. Despite her harsh words, she still loved him more than unlife itself. The thought of never being with him again, never touching him again, made her ill. More ill than seeing him and Dru together had made her. He really had seemed sincere when he told her she was the one he wanted. Could he really choose her over Dru?

Buffy decided to try to be adult about it. She was, after all, his senior by about a hundred and eighteen years, and she ultimately knew she couldn’t live without him in her life. She’d go find him and they’d have it out. She had questions that needed answering. She put on her duster and went in search of the blond Slayer.

It didn’t take long at all to find him, he hadn't made it too far. He was sitting on a gravestone, looking completely miserable. 

_‘Good.’_ Buffy thought. _‘He should be miserable too.’_

She walked up to stand beside him. “Spike,” Buffy said.

Spike looked up, he hadn’t heard or sensed her approach, having been too wrapped up in his emotional turmoil. “Hey...” He wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“You might as well have a big, flashing neon sign over your head saying ‘Easy Pickings’. What with your neck wound and not paying attention to your surroundings...”

Spike shrugged. “Maybe I don’t care.”

“Well I do. So get your ass back in the crypt,” Buffy said sternly, pulling him to his feet. “This doesn’t mean I’m forgiving you. I just have some things to say to you.” 

Spike nodded and fell into step beside her.

* * *

Riley scribbled furiously on his notepad as he crouched down in his hiding place behind some trees. 

He had been so happy for a minute there. Seeing the Slayer blubbering like a baby was the funniest thing Riley had witnessed since eating that clown last month. Where was a video camera when you needed one? 

But then Buffy had to come along and had to make him stop. They had walked back to her crypt and went inside, together. They were definitely having problems, though. Samantha would be happy to hear that.

* * *

“Take off the bandage, let me see your boo-boo,” Buffy said, throwing her duster on the chair.

Spike reached up and removed the bandage from his throat, tilting his head so she could see it better. Buffy stepped up to him, inspecting the wound. She touched the area around the scratches lightly with her fingertips. It was already starting to heal. Her mouth watered at the smell of his blood. She wanted to lick and suck on his throat something fierce.

“How... uh, did the nasties get the drop on you?” Buffy asked, trying to ignore her instincts.

“By literally getting the drop on me. I was fighting one when the other jumped out of a tree onto my back. They were able to pin me. I can’t believe I let myself get in that position.”

“And... Dru came to your rescue?” she asked, stone-faced.

“Yeah. She helped me out.” Spike looked down.

“Good on her, then. At least she’s good for something.”

Spike sat down on the sarcophagus. “You said you wanted to... tell me some things?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “Yeah. Let's jump right to the million dollar question: Who do you pick? Me or Dru?” she asked, sticking out her chin.

“You,” Spike said without a moment’s hesitation. “I want you. Not Dru. Not anybody else. I’m crazy about you, Buffy. I think about you all the time, when I’m not with you I’m wishing that I was with you... I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. I‘m so sorry...”

“Did you... call me... ‘baby’?” she asked, her heart would have raced at the term of endearment, if it were beating.

He blushed and smiled shyly. “Yeah... I guess I did. I know it’s corny --“

“No... I... liked it. Say it again.” She moved closer to him, looking deeply into his beautiful, cornflower-blue eyes.

He met her gaze. “I’m crazy about you, _baby_...” Spike said in a low, sexy voice.

Her breathing was getting more rapid, wetness pooled between her thighs. “You promise you won’t let Dru or anyone else’s lips near yours again? Are you mine? Only mine?”

Spike cupped her cheek in his hand, gently caressing her face. “I promise. I’m yours, only yours...”

Buffy threw her arms around him, then fused their mouths together. The kiss was desperate and claiming. She needed to plant her flag back in Mount Spike, as it were, to erase any icky Drusilla vibes. Speaking of Mount Spike... 

She pulled back, they panted for breath. “You still have to make it up to me, Spike-pet.”

“I’ll do anything, Buffy. What can I do to prove how sorry I am? To show you how much you mean to me.” Spike kissed a path up the side of her neck to her ear.

She had a few ideas about how he could begin. She‘d soon see how serious he was about it. A devilish glint appeared in her eye. “Anything?“ Buffy asked.

He nodded in the affirmative. 

“Come downstairs.” She pulled away from him, an oddly seductive jack-o-lantern grin upon her beautiful visage. 

Spike gulped at the sheer lasciviousness of her grin, wondering what it was that he’d just agreed to.

* * *

Two sets of handcuffs dangled from Buffy’s fingers. Spike stared at them, agog. 

“Well, pet? Up for it?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Um... I.... uh... handcuffs?” Spike squeaked then cleared his throat, yet strangely feeling suddenly 'up'.

“Is that a ‘no’?”

“If... you want it -- if it's important to you -- then I’ll do it,” Spike said nervously. He wanted to prove he meant what he'd said. 

Buffy smiled. “Take off your clothes and lay on the bed, hands above your head.”

He swallowed hard but did as she asked. 

Buffy licked her lips, her eyes roamed over his body as he stripped. _‘Oh, this is going to be so much fun!’_ she thought with a grin.

Spike climbed on the bed and laid on his back. “Okay. What now?” 

Buffy crawled up beside him. “Hands above your head,” she commanded. 

He raised his arms and let out a shaky breath, his clear blue eyes were wide with trepidation. She took his wrists and secured a cuff to each one, then fastened the other end of the cuffs to a bar in the headboard. 

“You can escape anytime you want. The cuffs aren’t reinforced. You got that nifty Slayer strength an' all. So, no worries, right?”

“Yeah... no worries.” Spike laughed nervously. 

Buffy opened her nightstand and took out a handful of silk scarves, holding them up for him to see before she went to the end of the bed. She tied one to each of his ankles and then tied the end of the scarves to the bedposts. She stood back and surveyed her handiwork. Spike was now tied and cuffed to the bed, spread-eagle, looking at her dubiously.

“Is this... really necessary?” 

“Quiet, Slayer! I’m giving the orders and I don’t recall tellin’ you that you could speak.”

“Buffy?” Spike was getting more nervous. Why was she being mean to him all of the sudden?

She sighed. “It’s just a game, pet. I’m not really going to hurt you. Just play along.”

“I... never did anything like this before...” Spike said uneasily, 

“It’ll be fun. You’ll see.” Buffy quivered in anticipation of being the first to introduce him to the wonderful world of bondage. “Pick a safe word.”

“Safe word?”

“A word that you wouldn’t normally use to tell me to stop if it gets too... intense.”

“You’ll... stop right away?”

“I promise, luv.”

“Uh...” Spike’s mind raced, trying to settle on a word. “Um... Farfegnuten!” he blurted out.

Buffy laughed before shrugging her shoulders and admitting, "Fair enough. That's actually a good one, luv. No chance of that poppin’ up in conversation. Farfegnuten it is. Okay, if things get too intense for you, say that word and I'll stop and release you. Another thing, we're playin' a game here, Spike-pet. And in this game, I'm your Mistress -- Mistress Buffy," the vampire smirked, "Speak only when I ask you a direct question. If you need to ask me anything or address me, you need to call me Mistress, and ask for permission before speaking. Exclamations of pleasure, crying my name or your God's in pleasure are exceptions, you can feel free to let those out all you like. I'll address you as Slayer or Pet. Got it?."

Spike nodded dumbly. 

"Remember, luv, don't get too wigged if I say harsh or just plain strange shit, I'm going to be playing the part of Mistress Buffy." 

Buffy didn't intend to be too harsh with him, this being his first time and all. She'd try to take it easy on him so she wouldn't totally turn her freak out. She took one more of the scarves, a lovely blue one to match his eyes, and started putting it around his head.

"Hey! What are you doing? I don't want a blindfold." Spike twisted his head away.

"Did you mean it when you said you'd do anything to prove your feelings to me? Or was it just bullshit to placate me, luv?" Buffy looked at him questioningly.

Spike sighed. "I meant it. But..." Spike trailed off when he saw the serious look in her eyes. This domination thing was definitely weird, but he'd known about vampire power structures beforehand and anyways it was important to her... so he'd go along with it for now. "Okay... it's just... weird."

Buffy smiled and went about tying the scarf around his head, covering his eyes. "There!" 

She examined the tableau in front of her: Spike, her Slayer, spread-eagle and fastened to the bed, his toned, tanned, muscular body laid out in front of her like a buffet. She giggled. 

"You look smashing, pet!" She wiped at a little drool off the corner of her mouth. 

He was even more delectable then usual like this, all splayed out and helpless. It was going to be difficult not to just fuck his brains out.

"Yeah, I'll bet. I feel like an idiot. You had better NOT have a camera," Spike muttered.

"Mmm, thanks for the tip, pet. A camera's a really good idea, I'll have to get one for next time. Second of all, you did not ask for permission to speak."

"I didn't know we started. Are we starting now?"

"Spike... you're going to ruin this for me. The game starts... now."

"Now, now?" he asked.

Buffy growled. "You didn't ask for permission to speak. Am I going to have to punish you?"

"Punish? What do you mean... punish?" Spike asked getting worried again.

Buffy growled louder. "You bloody did it again! NO more talking!"

Spike opened his mouth to say something but wisely snapped it closed again. 

"Good," Buffy said. 

She went over to a box of toys she kept on hand for just such an occasion and placed it beside the bed. Next she went to get some ice cubes from her freezer and a candle.

"Um... Mistress Buffy?" Spike felt so stupid having to call her that. "Uh... what's going on? Where are you?"

Buffy smirked. "Right here, Slayer." She sat on the edge of the bed. "You didn't ask for permission to speak, but I'll let that one go, since you called me by my correct title." 

She bent over and took a big, white ostrich feather from her box of goodies. Buffy trailed it lightly over his abdomen. Spike jerked at the new and strange sensation. She continued ghosting the feather over his torso, neck and face.

"Mistress Buffy? Can... Can I speak?"

"Yes," the blonde vampire growled, getting extremely turned on.

"Is... that a feather?"

"Yes. Do you like it?" she purred.

"Y-yeah. It's nice..." 

Despite his misgivings about this whole thing, Spike was starting to get into it a little. The feather felt pretty damn good. Buffy had him totally at her mercy but he knew she wouldn't really hurt him. It was kind of... exhilarating to give up control to someone else for once. 

Buffy smiled as she moved the feather down over his hipbones to his cock, ball sac and thighs. Spike groaned softly, his cock jumped slightly as the feather fluttered over his lower body. He sighed when she took the feather away.

Buffy dug back into the box, this time bringing out a leather cock ring. She wanted to get it on him before he started getting hard. She took his balls in her hands and slipped them, one ball at a time, through the ring.

"What -- Mistress Buffy! Per-permission to speak!" Spike pulled on the handcuffs.

"Granted," Buffy said, taking his shaft in her hand and putting it through the ring then fastening the strap.

"What is that!? What are you doing?!" Spike tried to keep from panicking. He trusted her, but couldn't help being concerned when he felt something being put around his most sensitive parts.

"It's a cock ring, Slayer. It'll keep you harder longer and best of all, you don't get to cum until I want you to." Buffy trembled, having this much power of him was a heady feeling. 

Spike didn't know what to make of this. He'd never even seen one of the things he was currently wearing. He swallowed and willed himself to relax. Buffy wouldn't damage his equipment by putting something potentially dangerous on it, she enjoyed it too much. He tried to contain a self-satisfied smirk before taking a deep breath to sustain himself for whatever Mistress Buffy had in store. 

Buffy got an ice cube and ran it over his lips. He parted his lips, the tip of his tongue poking out to soak up some of the moisture. She moved the ice cube down, over his chin, his throat and onto his chest. Buffy bent over and licked a trail from the hollow of his throat up to his lips, kissing him hotly for a few moments before pulling away. Spike panted. She got another cube and rolled it on one of his nipples.

Spike gasped, clenching his toes and balling up his hands into fists. He knew she was going to do that eventually, but the coldness was still a shock. Buffy repeated her action on the other nipple. After that cube was melted, she lit the candle she had brought over with her Zippo lighter.

"M-Mistress Buffy?" Spike said in a shaky voice. He was both afraid and excited about what she would do to him next. 

"Yeeesss?"

"What was that noise?"

Without responding, Buffy held the candle over one of his nipples, tilting it. Hot wax dripped on to his sensitive flesh. Spike inhaled sharply and arched off the bed. She repeated on the other nipple. 

Spike hissed through clenched teeth, breathing harder. Buffy put the candle aside, picked up another ice cube and reapplied them to both his nipples, then dripped the wax on him again. The variations in temperature were driving Spike crazy. He gripped the bars of the headboard, trying not to cry out or say anything. 

Buffy dribbled the wax in a line from the middle of his chest to his belly button. With her other hand she smeared the wax around. Putting the candle aside again, she got another cube and circled it around his navel before trailing it down through his pubic hair and along the length of his cock to the tip. She took his member in her hand and rubbed the slit with the remainder of the cube.

Spike whimpered and moaned.

With yet another cube, she made sure to go over every inch of his dick until it was glistening with moisture. Without letting go of him, she picked up the candle and dripped wax down the sides of his prick, the skin turned pinker where the wax touched. Buffy then dripped the wax onto the head, swirling it around with her thumb.

Spike bucked off the bed when he felt the hot wax drip down on his cock. "Ngahhh! Ahhh!" 

It was painful, but also very... stimulating. He had never felt anything like it. He was getting more aroused by the moment.

Buffy smiled slyly and pumped him a few times when she felt his cock twitching and growing harder in her hand. She knew the Slayer would get off on a little pain mixed with his pleasure, just like she did.

"Everything alright, pet." Buffy asked, checking on him.

"F-fine!" Spike grit his teeth.

"Good." 

Buffy gave his balls the same treatment: using the ice then dribbling the wax. 

"Jesus! Buffy!" Spike gasped and trembled. 

Buffy smiled, blowing out the candle and putting it on her nightstand. She dug back into the box and brought out her self-heating, mango-flavored body oil then poured some out into her palm. She rubbed her palms together, making the oil heat up, then started rubbing it onto his shoulders and chest.

Spike sniffed. Whatever she was putting on him smelled like fruit. "Smells nice..."

Buffy rolled her eyes. He just couldn't get the hang of the whole 'Ask permission to speak' thing. She'd have to chastise him a little. She took a small paddle out of the box and swiftly, but lightly, gave his cock a swat with it. Spike gasped loudly, arching his body off the bed.

"I told you, Slayer, you must ask before you speak unless I ask you a question," Buffy said sternly. "Understand?"

"Y-YES MISTRESS!" Spike stuttered. 

That had definitely taken him by surprise. He kept forgetting the rules of her game. Why couldn't they just have sex like they usually did? He was good at that.

She caressed the side of his face for a moment before applying more oil to his body. Buffy massaged the warm oil all over his body: arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, hips, thighs, calves and right down to the tips of his toes. She sucked on his toes for a minute of two, making him moan. 

Nobody had ever paid any attention to his feet before. Spike never would have imagined that having your toes sucked on could feel so good, that it could be so hot. With what little brain power he had left to work with, he tried making mental notes about stuff he wanted to do to her the next time he had the chance. A little 'tit for nad' so to speak. His cock strained as he experienced the curious and exciting sensations Buffy was producing in him while thinking about having her tied up like this, doing delicious and naughty things to her body.

Buffy regretted not being able to get to his back and ass when he was in this position, but that could wait until another time. She kneeled between his spread thighs and got more oil on her hands, taking his balls in her hands, she caressed them, coating them with oil. Then she went about stroking his cock from root to tip, until it too was shiny and coated with the fragrant oil.

Spike was moaning, groaning and gritting his teeth as Buffy manhandled his balls and dick. He wanted to fuck her so bad, he wanted to cum so bad. When was she going to stop the game? He didn't know how much more he could take.

"How's that feel, pet?" Buffy asked, running an index finger down his slick chest and abdomen.

"Buf-- Mistress Buffy, when... is this going to be over?" 

She smiled wickedly. "Soon," Buffy said, moving the finger she'd run down his chest further down, she tugged his balls lightly before continuing down, slowly stroking his perineum.

"Uhhhh! Oh God!" Spike moaned.

Buffy moved her slippery finger down again, circling his hole. Spike tensed up, breathing raggedly. She slid just the tip of her finger into his ass while she began stroking his cock with the other hand.

"Buffy! Ohh--Oh God! I-I don't want that!" Spike protested. 

She could sense some curiosity on his part but she didn't want to do anything he really wasn't ready for. She removed her finger from his hole. That, too, could wait for another time.

"Alright, Slayer. But I think you'd find it... pleasurable." 

She leaned over and pressed a kiss to the head of his cock, darting her tongue out to lick up the pre-cum that seeped out. She wriggled the tip of her tongue, toying with the slit.

"Ahhh! God! Ahhh!" Spike writhed under her, trying to buck himself up into her mouth.

"Want me to suck your cock, pet?" she asked, continuing to lick over and around the bulbous head. He was getting as hard as granite.

"YES! Yes!" Spike panted. "Please!"

Buffy grinned then put her mouth over the head, sliding down his staff then bobbing her head up and down.

"Oh--God--Ohhh Buffy!" His hips bucked. He groaned loudly and gasped for breath when she released his member.

Buffy got off the bed and took off her clothes quickly. 

"M-Mistress? What's... Where are you?" Spike asked shakily. He was frustrated beyond belief that she stopped sucking him off.

Buffy went into the box one last time, to get her 8 inch long, black vibrator, or Maurice, as she sometimes called it. 

"Right here, pet." She crawled back onto the bed, kneeling between his legs again. 

She parted her legs and switched on the vibrator.

Spike's head lifted slightly when he heard the buzzing sound. "Mistress?"

"It's a vibrator, Slayer. You look so good, so bloody hot... I have to get myself off." Buffy touched the vibrator to her clit and moaned.

"I... Permission to speak?!" Spike said in a high, tight voice.

"Mmmm, granted," she breathed.

"What about... uh... me? Why --"

"You want to fuck me?" Buffy asked, moving the vibrator along her soaked gash.

"Yes! Oh God -- YES!" Spike strained at his bonds.

Buffy smiled and put the vibrator to his lips. "Taste," she was starting to pant.

Spike's tongue darted out, licking her juice off the sex toy. "Buffy, so good...." he mumbled using that wonderfully long tongue of his to clean off the vibrator.

She pushed it slightly into his mouth. Spike wrapped his lips around the tip and sucked her juices off of it as she moved it gently in and out of his mouth. Buffy shivered with need.

Buffy took it away from his mouth, if she watched him doing that any longer she thought she might cum without him even touching her. He was so fucking hot. She touched the vibrator to one of his nipples, circling and rubbing it. Spike groaned. She repeated the action to the other nipple. 

Spike blinked rapidly when Buffy pushed the silk scarf above his eyes, allowing him to see again. They locked gazes. Buffy smirked, taking his rigid cock back in her hand, she lowered her mouth back over it, engulfing him once again in her cool, moist mouth. She ran the vibrator up and down the sides of his dick, sucking on it like a lollypop while she massaged his balls.

"Buffy! PLEASE! OH GOD! Want to CUM!" Spike looked down at her, a frantic and desperate look on his face. He thrust up into her mouth, his hands wrapped around the bars above his head.

Buffy smiled around his cock and moved the vibrator down, running it over his sac then down to his hole, sticking just the very tip into his ass. If possible, he thrust even more frantically, gasping and crying out in pleasure and frustration. Buffy shuddered as a mini-orgasm washed through her body. Seeing him like this, having him like this was too decadent for words. She had to have that big, gorgeous, Slayer cock stuffed into her aching pussy right now, she couldn't play the game anymore.

Buffy took the vibrator out and moved to straddle his waist. She slid down onto his rock-hard cock like butter parting under a hot knife, smoothly and effortlessly. They both gasped and moaned when he was fully encased in her snatch. He was even bigger and thicker than usual.

"YES--YES! Ohh Buffy!" Spike thrust up. 

Buffy groaned and tossed her head back as she rode him at a gallop, rubbing the vibrator over her clit. It only took a minute for her to scream in ecstasy.

"Sp-Spike! OHYESOHFUCKYES!" Buffy sucked in air and wailed, bouncing up and down on his cock as she came hard.

"BB-UUFFY! PLEASE!" Spike yelled, he'd never wanted or needed to cum so bad and not been able to.

Buffy released the strap on the cock ring. Almost immediately, Spike's entire body went stiff as a board, he arched his back off the bed and threw his head back, as he started cumming harder than he ever had. His eyes crossed then rolled up in their sockets.

"OH FUCKYESFUCKYES! AAGGHHH--BUFFY!" Spike howled and shook as he unloaded buckets of cum into her cunt. 

Buffy dropped onto his chest, panting for breath, still humping against him. He kept cumming and cumming, losing all track of time, dark spots danced in front of his eyes, his eyelids flapped like window shades as he continued to cry out in sweet release. 

Buffy's pussy was stuffed to overflowing with his cock and thick spunk. Their combined liquids pooled beneath them. She had cum again when she felt his cock spasming violently inside her.

The next thing Spike knew Buffy was laying beside him on the bed, his arms and legs were free from their bindings, the scarf was gone from his forehead and the cock ring had been removed.

Buffy was breathing hard, her eyes were closed, a huge smile was plastered on her face. 

"Buffy?" Spike rubbed at one of his sore wrists.

She turned her head and smiled at him. "Welcome back, luv. You decided to take a little nap."

"I passed out?" he asked, his eyes as big as dinner plates.

"A little bit. Thought I really did kill you for a moment there..." Buffy giggled.

"Wow... that was... holy shit!" Spike looked up at the ceiling, a look of awe on his face. "God, I never... that was fucking..." He looked back at her, goofy post-orgasmic grin firmly in place. "You're very talented."

Buffy smiled widely and rolled against his side, running her hand over his slick chest. "You are too, Spike-pet. At one point I think you were actually speaking in tongues." 

They laughed. She snuggled against her powerful, beautiful, passionate Slayer.

"Did I do okay? I never did anything like that before..." Spike asked self-consciously.

"Mmm, you need to work on following orders." Buffy laughed. "But you were wonderful, luv... so bloody wonderful." She tilted her head up to press their lips together. 

He caressed the side of her face. "Are we okay, now?" Spike asked, searching her eyes.

"Yeah. I... know you meant what you said. You have no idea how... I love you so much, Spike." She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

"I know." Spike gently kissed her forehead, eyes, cheeks and finally her mouth. 

He was getting closer to realizing that he loved her just as much as she loved him. But there was still something that kept him from recognizing his deep love for her. 

"Now we really do need a shower." Spike chuckled and sighed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Coolestchick for the excellent beta work she's done for me!
> 
> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

 

The days passed. 

Spike and Buffy spent every moment they could together, first patrolling and then shagging each other's brains out or sometimes just holding one another for hours. And though it was a strange sensation, neither of them had been so happy or had a relationship that felt so 'right'. 

Spike had managed to avoid Xander all week. He still wasn't ready to talk to his best friend with the memory of his emotionally loaded taunts still fresh in his mind.

Spike was working out after classes one day in the training room at the Magic Box when Giles came in, pretending to inspect some weapons. 

Spike sighed. 

Somehow, he had avoided having 'the talk' with Giles all week too. The Watcher had been acting awkward all day as well, and it was time to see what was ensnared in the gray matter of his surrogate father, no matter how unpleasant it might be to talk about. 

"Giles, what is it?" Spike asked, hitting the heavy bag before him.

"Hmm?" Giles asked.

Spike stepped back from the bag and steadied it. "You've been acting strange all day. You've got something you want to talk about, right?"

"Erm, yes. I wanted to... talk to you about the Buffy... situation." Giles took off his glasses and polished them.

"The Buffy situation? Okay, Giles... I'm with her. I'm not taking a poll to see if everyone thinks I should be with her. It's my decision."

"I know that, Spike. It is ultimately your decision. But have you really thought this through? The potential for... I don't want you to get hurt," Giles said the last part quietly.

Spike's stance relaxed a bit. "I won't get hurt. She loves me, I can see it in her eyes, and in the things she does for me and my family. I believe in her, Giles. I think that's all she needed all along. A little kindness and someone to encourage her to do good. She's special."

"Do you love her?" Giles asked, and the blond Slayer flashed back to when his mom asked him the same thing. 

"I love her as much as I'm capable of loving her."

"What does that mean?" Giles said, wrinkling his brow in confusion.

"It means that I'm 'damaged goods'. I... have trouble opening myself up to people, in case you hadn't noticed. After everything with Dru... the part of my brain able to fall in love got fried or something. Like with Sam. She's a great woman. Smart, beautiful, loving, she had it all. But I couldn't love her. Something's missing inside of me."

"And Buffy somehow fills this void?"

Spike smiled. "Yeah. It's about 3/4 full now," he said with semi-sarcastic humor before becoming serious once more, "I still can't tell her, honestly, that I'm in love with her... but I think that someday I will."

"Buffy's a vampire. There are going to be... rough spots. She doesn't have a soul, Spike. She has no moral compass."

"She's capable of more love and affection than most humans I've met or even heard of. She loves me and I know she's crazy about Dawnie and Mom. You should see Buffy when she's around them... I think it's because they both always treated her like a person, not a thing. I never gave her the benefit of the doubt before, not like they did. Can you guys try to treat her like... one of us? I know she'd be chuffed to bits to feel accepted by the gang."

"Chuffed to bits?" Giles couldn't help smiling at Spike's use of British slang.

Spike smiled and laughed. "I guess she's rubbing off on me a little. It just slipped out."

"What about your future?" Giles mentioned thoughtfully, "Are you saying that you don't want to raise a family?"

"Giles, get real. Do many Slayers get old enough to bounce their chubby grandchildren on their knee, telling them tales of demons they've slayed? I'm not going to live that long... you know that."

Giles took a deep breath. He didn't like this relationship at all. There was too much potential for heartbreak and hellraising. But Spike seemed so happy since they've been together, and it was true that he fought better when he was angry. 

"I don't approve, Spike."

Spike hung his head despondently, pushing lightly on the punching bag, swinging it back and forth. 

"But... I don't want to alienate you by trying to talk you out of it at every turn. You're... important to me, very important, as is your happiness. It's not the exact same situation of course, but in my younger days I dated a few girls that my parents absolutely hated. I know how their bad-mouthing of my dates affected me. I was even more determined to see the ladies in question, just to spite them. So, I'll not lecture you about her or try to stand in your way.... if that's what you really want."

Spike smiled at Giles. "Thanks. I really appreciate that you're trying." Spike fought the impulse to give Giles a big hug. 

Giles was so conflicted. It was a terrible idea for the Slayer and a vampire to be involved. A union against nature itself. It was one thing with Drusilla, at least she had a soul. But this...

"Spike... if she hurts you..." 

"Giles, she won't. Trust me. She's like a whole different person now. She still has her edge, but she's also so thoughtful and kind and loving."

Giles nodded, even though he had strong reservations. But you couldn't talk Spike out of something once he'd put his heart into it.

Spike looked at the clock. 

"Shit. I have to get home," he said, unwinding the athletic tape from his knuckles. "It's another fabulous Summers' family fun night."

"What's the movie tonight?" Giles asked.

Spike grimaced. ‘Sleepless in Seattle‘. I'm outnumbered by women. My suggestions for what videos to rent are met by 'Ewww!'s or 'That's too violent, sweetiepie!' Well frankly, I think watching ‘Kate & Leopold’ is cruel and unusual punishment," Spike finished in a high-pitched voice.

Giles smirked. "You have my pity, sir."

Spike discarded the tape in the trash and picked up his gym bag. "See ya, Giles. Thanks again, for the... for what you said."

Giles nodded. "Have a good evening, Spike."

Spike went out the back door. 

Giles looked after him. He really did hope that Buffy was everything that Spike claimed. Lord knows what would happen if this was some kind of game to her. Giles knew one thing for sure, if Buffy dared to toy with Spike's heart or hurt him in any way, Ripper would pay her a visit.

* * *

Buffy moped around the crypt. 

Tonight was the Summers' family night, the one night she couldn't spend time with Spike. She was greedy, she knew it. But she wanted him with her, making love to her, touching her, holding her. 

Spike had suggested that she use this night to do 'her own thing'. Go shoot some pool, have a few drinks at Willy's, play some poker. She had been a bit of a homebody since she and Spike got together. Only going out to get blood and smokes (she'd had to cut down to half a pack a day due to spending so much time with the non-smoking Slayer). She could also use a good brawl or two. It wasn't a bad idea. 

Buffy put on her duster and left for Willy's as soon as the sun set, intending to have a good time, maybe get in on a poker game in the back room. She lit up a smoke as she strutted through the cemetery.

Riley watched her leave from his hiding place. 

He gulped. It was time to put the next part of Sam's plan into action. He was scared shitless that Buffy would catch him. As soon as she was gone, he raced for the crypt, moving inside and closing the door swiftly. He walked to the refrigerator, remembering his conversation with Samantha last night...

 

_Last night..._

Sam handed Riley a small bottle of clear liquid.

"What's this for?" Riley said, looking at it.

"Your job is to put that in something you know Buffy will want to drink. A bag of blood in her refrigerator, a whiskey bottle... But it has to be something already in her crypt. I don't want her getting suspicious, like she would if you just came up to her and gave her a drink. She can't know where it came from."

"What's it do? And where did you get it?" Riley said nervously, his hand shaking a little. He didn't want to hurt Buffy. Not much, anyway.

"I got it from some... friends of mine in the government. It's a sex drug. It'll get her in the mood _real_ quick. That's where you come in again. You just happen to stop by when she's getting amorous. The two of you rut like weasels, Spike finds out, and it's 'game over'." Sam smiled, pleased with her cunning plan.

"But Spike and Buffy don't see each other on Thursdays. The whole stupid family night thing, remember?"

"Pffft! Those two can't keep their hands off each other for one minute, let alone the whole night. It's disgusting... He'll show up eventually. You make sure you're showing her a 'good time' when he does," Sam waved away his question and tossed her long, wavy brown hair over her shoulder.

"How am I going to get this in the crypt? What if she catches me?!" Riley shuddered to think what Buffy would do to him.

"Hello? Riley! Hellooo?!" Sam said, knocking Riley's head in an agitated and unwilling parody of Back to the Future's Biff Tannenbaum. "You've been monitoring her movements for a week. You know when she typically goes out and how long she's gone. Just wait until she leaves the crypt tomorrow night. Then move in, complete the mission, then get back out. Then, you wait until she comes back, give her about 15 minutes or so to ingest the laced drink and move in. Say... you left something that belongs to you there and you came back for it."

"What if she doesn't believe me? What if --"

"Will you shut up?!" Sam took a deep breath. She still needed Riley's help and needed to watch her temper with him, for now. "Look, it will be okay. I'll... be hanging around the cemetery. Just in case you need me to help if she catches you and gets violent. I'll incapacitate her." 

Sam had no intention of doing any such thing, but she figured that that would calm his nerves.

Riley smiled tentatively. "Okay... You promise? You'll come if she catches me?"

"Absolutely," Sam lied with a smile.

 

_The present..._

Riley opened the refrigerator and took out the lone bottle of vodka. Buffy always liked to have a few swigs of this when she came home. 

He took a calming breath, trying to steady his hands, as he poured the contents of the bottle Sam gave him into the vodka bottle. He put the empty drug bottle into his jacket pocket, screwed the cap back onto the vodka and placed it back in the mini-fridge, exactly how he had found it. 

Once it was done, Riley let out shaky laugh. He did it! He didn't spill it or anything! Samantha would be proud of him. He raced out of the crypt and back to his hiding place to wait in anticipation for Buffy to return.

* * *

Buffy hummed a tune as she walked in the door of the crypt. 

It had been a good night. She'd thrown back more than a few pints with some fellow demons, played a few hands of poker, winning 50 shillings. And best of all, she forgot how much she missed Spike. But now she just reminded herself of it.

"Bollocks! I was doing so bloody good..." 

Buffy strolled over to her fridge to get a little more liquid refreshment. Spike didn't like her to drink too much. It was hard, being in love. You had to compromise and change little things that annoyed the other person. But he was worth it. No amount of booze or cigarettes could make her feel as high or feel as satisfied as being with him did. 

She smiled, musing that she was helping him to loosen up a bit more and be more spontaneous. He was getting quite creative with their kinky sex games as well. She twisted the cap off and took a long draught as she walked over to her chair.

Buffy was grateful that Spike had, unasked, helped her buy a new TV after she busted up the last one in a fit of jealous rage -- she didn't know what she'd do if she missed ‘Passions‘. Buffy flipped through the channels stopping when she came to reruns of 'Melrose Place'. 

"Oooh! I love that Michael bloke! Now, _he's_ evil!" Buffy settled in to watch, pulling steadily on her bottle.

* * *

Riley was scared, but after 15 minutes, he was standing in front of Buffy's crypt and screwing up his courage to enter. 

_'You can do it! You can do it! She'll be your very own Platinum Baby again after this...'_

He opened the door and entered. When Buffy heard the door open, a huge smile lit up her features. 

_'He came!'_ Buffy whipped around in her chair, thinking perhaps the Slayer had ducked out of family night early and come to her. Her smile fell when she saw Riley standing there.

"What the fuck are you doin' here?" Buffy stood up, scowling at him.

"Hi, Buffy! I, uh... I'm sorry to interrupt, but I left my... Best of Shania Twain CD here... somewhere. Can I look around for it?"

Buffy grumbled. "I s'pose. But you find it an' get out."

"Sure! Um... I won't be long..." Riley's eyes darted to the half empty bottle in Buffy's hand then back to her face. 

_'She's drinking it. I wonder how long it will take to work?'_ He made a show of looking around the crypt.

Buffy sat back down to watch TV. "I din't see your soddin' CD. I don't think it's here."

"Really? Just... let me look around a little longer."

"Whatever." Buffy waved her hand at him. "Just keep it down. This is the 'Melrose' where Kimberly steals Joe's baby. Bloody good episode... That Kimberly's one barmy bitch."

Riley was running out of places to look after a few minutes. "Buffy?"

"What?" Buffy growled.

"Can I look downstairs? Maybe I left it there."

"NO. You may not go down there." She stood up and faced him. "Just leave, will ya? I'll give you the bloody money to buy a new CD for --" 

A wave of dizziness passed over Buffy, she started swaying on her feet. She put her hand to her forehead, the vodka bottle slipped from her fingers and bounced off the floor before rolling away a few feet.

"Buffy!" Riley ran over and put his arms around her to keep her from falling. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah.... I'm... fine. Bit too much o' the grape tonight..." Buffy sniffed Riley's neck, a drunk smile on her lips. "Mmmm, pet, you smell so good..."

Riley's eyes widened. He had almost forgotten about the drug. 

"Yeah?" he squeaked as she nuzzled him.

"Oh yeah... Is it hot? Are you hot?" Buffy asked with a puzzled frown, pulling at her clothes. 

She knew something was wrong, but couldn't think hard enough to figure it out. Her skull felt like it was packed with gauze. 

"A little bit..." Riley stared and licked his lips as Buffy pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor. 

She bent over and unlaced her boots, kicking them off. She almost lost her balance, but Riley was there again, grabbing her around the waist.

"Ooooh! Luv! You're so strong." Buffy felt his biceps and giggled. "I still have my pants on..." She looked at him, batting her eyelashes. "You still want to get in my pants, mon petit crème brulle?"

"Oh, Blondie Bear! French!" Riley smashed their lips together. Then lifted her up into his arms. "I missed you so much, baby!"

"Mmm, fuck me, Riley!" Buffy yelled, tossing her head back. "Oh God, I need you to fuck me! Please!" Buffy's body felt like it was on fire, her pussy ached and throbbed. 

Her only thought was: _MUST FUCK!_

Riley grinned like a madman and headed to the lower level with his woman writhing in lust in his arms.

* * *

Spike was helping his mom with the dishes after the movie, and he was feeling distracted. He couldn't stop thinking about Buffy, and it wasn't just for lack of stimulating subject matter. The Slayer knew that she was disappointed that the two of them couldn't get together on family night.

"Spike?" Joyce asked.

"Hmm?"

"Honey, would you like to go see Buffy?" Joyce smiled knowingly.

"Huh? Uh... it's okay. I'll stay and help you." Spike blushed a little at being caught thinking about his girlfriend when he was supposed to be helping his mother.

"Nope. You're useless to me like this. Go on, go see her. You've been drying the same dish for 5 minutes." She laughed.

"Oh... sorry. You... really don't mind if I --" He jerked a thumb in the direction of the front door.

"I told you, go on!" Joyce snapped a dish towel at his butt. 

He laughed and yelped. "Thanks, Mom." Spike kissed her cheek. "You're the best!"

"And don't you forget it!" Joyce laughed as Spike jogged to the front door. 

She had to admit, being with Buffy really seemed to suit her son. He hadn't been nearly as moody as he was before they became an item. In fact, he was happy. He almost always had a smile on his face. Joyce didn't want to contemplate what it was that Buffy did to keep that smile in place, she was just glad to see her son happy. Whether he knew it or not, the boy was in love. Head over heels in love. Joyce smiled and placed a porcelain Shimitsu bowl into the drying bin.

* * *

Spike walked into the crypt with a red rose in his hand. 

He had clipped the blossom from the bush on the side of the Summers' house just for her. He was thinking about all that mushy, romantic stuff all the time these days. The TV was on, so she had to be here somewhere. He was heading for the trap door when he noticed her clothes laying on the floor. Spike grinned, bending over to pick them up. 

_'Maybe she had a feeling I'd find a way to come and see her. She could be waiting for me, all spread on the peach duvet... and... the vixen!'_

Spike went quickly to the trap door and down the steps, then turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. 

Buffy and Riley were fucking on the bed, on _their_ bed. 

Spike stared at them, his brain not able to grasp what his eyes were seeing. The rose fell from his numb fingers, landing at his feet. Buffy was on top, riding Riley's cock like a pro. The scene appeared to be happening in slow motion before him, and Spike wondered absently why everything was happening so slow.

"OOOOHH! Yeah, Riley! Oh fuck! Oh baby!" Buffy's extended moan writhed through the air.

"Buffy! OH! Blondie--UHHH--Bear! I love you!" Riley shouted, his voice seeming deep and overdrawn.

Spike felt like he was going to be sick. He backed away, feeling the wall beside him to guide him to the stairs; he trampled the rose under the heel of his boot. He couldn't take his eyes off the spectacle on the bed.

"Love you too! OH GOD YES! FUCK ME!!" Buffy growled, bouncing up and down and clawing at Riley's chest.

Spike turned and ran to the upper level and out of the crypt. He kept running for a minute before having to stop, clutching at his stomach. He leaned against a gravestone for support, and his mind was racing faster than his heart.

"How could you do this to me?" Spike whispered. "How could you?!" he said louder. "My God... such a fool... I'm such a FUCKING FOOL!" 

He punched the stone monument, cracking it in half and sending stone chips and dust flying everywhere. He was so full of rage and sorrow that he wanted to go back there and tear them apart, piece by piece. His heart felt like it had been fractured. He would never, ever, let himself get close to anyone again.

Spike took a deep, shaky breath. Then he looked around the cemetery, searching for something to kill, something to maim and beat to a bloody pulp. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hoped that maybe some vamp or demon would have their 'one good day'. Anything to make the immense pain stop. He set off in search of some baddies, rubbing his hand absently over his chest. His knuckles were bleeding from when he punched through the tombstone. But it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

* * *

Xander walked nervously through the cemetery. 

Joyce had told him Spike went to Buffy's for the evening a few hours ago. The brunette pseudo-hunk couldn't eat or sleep -- he missed his friend. He hated Buffy, but if it meant losing Spike as his friend... he could learn to tolerate her. Spike's friendship meant too much to him to let it end. And Anya had oh-so-delicately pointed out that Xander, himself, was involved with someone who had done their share of mayhem over the last millennium. It would be hypocritical for him not to at least give Buffy a chance.

Xander breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Spike sitting on a bench with his back to him. He approached him cautiously, he didn't want Spike to mistake him for a demon. But then again, maybe Spike would be _more_ inclined to kill if he knew it was Xander after the exchange they'd had in the Magic Box last week.

"Hey, your mom said you'd be around here, so..." Xander walked around the bench to face Spike. "Look man, I'm really sorry about --" 

He stopped when he took in Spike's appearance. He was bruised and literally covered in blood (some of it his own) and he had a kind of vacant look on his face, like he wasn't 'all there'. 

"Spike?" 

Xander moved closer to examine his friend: there was a rip in Spike's shirt around the midsection, revealing a deep cut across his stomach; a large gash was on his forehead above his left eye; his bottom lip was split; blood ran from his nose; one eye was purplish and almost swollen shut. 

"Shit! Jesus-God! What did this to you?" Xander panicked looking at his friend and then looking around them at the silent cemetery, afraid that whatever had done it was still running around. 

He'd never seen his best friend looking worse than he did right now. The mere thought of what could have done this to this to the strong, resourceful, powerful Slayer shook Xander to the core. Maybe it was Glory...

Spike shrugged disinterestedly. 

"Spike? Are you okay?" 

Spike looked at him, his eyes seeming to finally focus on Xander's face. "No," Spike without emotion, his face a blank canvas. 

"Come on, let's get you home, buddy." Xander took one of Spike's arms and put it over his shoulder and hefted him off the bench, the Slayer was like dead weight. "You gotta help me here, a little. You been putting on weight lately? Too many milkshakes?" Xander joked nervously. 

Spike started moving his feet on his own. They shuffled/stumbled out of the cemetery to Xander's waiting car.

* * *

Joyce had screamed and almost fainted when she had seen the condition her eldest child, her only son, was in.

Joyce, Xander and Dawn had fretted over him and patched his wounds as best they could before putting him to bed. 

Spike's wounds were bad, but not fatal. His face was a mess, bloodied and bruised; there was a gash across his stomach, something had sliced him open. Bruises and scratches dotted his torso -- ugly, angry looking, purplish-yellow bruises surrounded a few cracked ribs. The Slayer's hands were torn up, and several nails had been ripped off. The Slayer healing mojo had its work cut out for it.

Xander entered Spike's bedroom quietly; he didn't want to wake the beaten Slayer. But Spike's eyes were wide open -- or rather, the one that wasn't swollen shut was open. He was staring at the ceiling. 

Joyce had asked Xander to talk to him, to try to get any details about what happened tonight out of him. Spike had barely said a word when they were bandaging him up. He only mumbled something about a lot of vamps. It crossed Xander's mind that maybe Spike and Buffy had been attacked by a group of somethings and Buffy had gotten killed. Maybe that was why Spike was in a state of shock. Xander would be as gentle as possible.

"Hey, man." Xander closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed then sat down on the edge. "How you feelin'?"

The Slayer looked like a prize fighter who'd gone about ten rounds with Mike Tyson.

Spike's good eye focused on him. "Like shit," he said through his busted lip.

"Yeah, I guess so. Any better yet? Those super fast, super-cool Slayer healing abilities kicking in?"

Spike only stared at him, not really seeing him.

"Spike... what happened, man? What did this to you?"

Spike looked away from him and towards the window. "I went looking for trouble. I found some. They kicked my ass, I kicked theirs. I walked away. They didn't."

Xander furrowed his brow. "Huh?"

"I went looking for demons. That's what I do, isn't it? That's all I do... I found a lot of them. I sent them back to Hell where they belong." 

Xander got even more worried when Spike started laughing, sounding like a mental patient. 

"They couldn't do it, though! I gave them a perfect opportunity, I wasn't even trying that hard... I left myself wide open and they still lost."

"Again, with the Huh?" Xander said.

"One good day... they didn't have it." Spike's eye teared up. "Why couldn't they beat me? I wanted them to fucking beat me... just this once..."

"What... Spike... Are you saying that you were _trying_ to get yourself killed?" Xander asked in horror.

"It's too hard, Xan. It's too hard... I can't do it anymore... Why can't the pain just go away?"

Tears welled up in Xander's eyes. "Why? Why do you want to die?"

Spike turned away again, his face contorted in pain. "You were right... Oh God, why didn't I listen to you?"

"What was I right about? Come on, Spike! What the fuck happened to you?!"

"Buffy," Spike sobbed her name in barely a whisper.

Xander ground his teeth together. _'I fucking knew it! That bitch! What did she do to him?!'_

"What happened?" Xander asked slowly.

"I... caught her... Oh God, I saw them together... fucking... she told him she loved him while they... just like she told me... I'm such a fool! I believed her... I really believed her! How could I have been so wrong? I was so sure about... how much she loved me... How could I not be enough for her?! We had sex **ALL** the time!"

"Maybe... vamps just... define love differently than we do..." Xander struggled to keep calm and find the right words to comfort his friend. "Maybe they can love someone... but still, uh, want to sleep with other people." 

Spike sobbed. "It... hurts so much... I just want it to stop..."

"I'm sorry..." Xander held Spike's hand. "I am so sorry."

"I should have listened to you... you knew... you fucking knew..."

"The heart... wants what it wants... I understand that. You took a chance. You followed your heart."

"Well, you can rip the fucking thing out of my chest! I don't need it anymore... don't want it... Finish the job Buffy started."

Xander took Spike by the shoulders, forcing him to look him in the eye. Spike tried to roll away from him, but he was so weak that Xander held him in place easily. 

"Hey! I'm sorry she did this to, I am. But what's this trying to get yourself killed shit?! Did you forget about your friends? Did you forget about your mom and Dawn? What would we do if you got yourself killed? What kind of shit is that?!"

"Leave me alone!" Spike spit out.

"No! I won't." 

Xander shook Spike's shoulders firmly, but gently -- he wanted to get his point across but didn't want to aggravate his injuries. The Slayer tried twisting away but Xander's grip was too strong. He bared his teeth like an animal and glared up at Xander.

"What about Dawn? You're supposed to protect her. What's going to happen to her if you're not around to protect her from Glory if she comes a' callin'? You think Giles or Joyce have a shot in hell? Snap out of it, Spike! You don't give up, damn it! You never give up! That's one of the things I've always admired most about you. No matter what life throws at you, no matter how much you get beat down, you get back up, dust yourself off and you KEEP GOING! I admire the hell out of you, and as much as it freaks me out, you're my hero... Please, Spike, please snap out of this!"

Spike watched the progress of a single tear that leaked out of the corner of Xander's eye, following it with his good eye as it ran down his friend's face. Suddenly, everything came back into focus in his mind, the nearly catatonic, reckless/suicidal state he'd been in for the past several hours dissipated. He knew that Xander was right. The fog was finally starting to lift from his brain. 

"Xan... I could've died tonight... I wanted to die tonight," Spike said in shock, realizing what he'd almost done. "Oh fuck... I'm so messed up..." 

"It'll be okay. You just need to heal. You'll be alright." Xander released Spike's shoulders and sat back on the bed, once again taking Spike's hand in his. 

Xander took a shaky breath and wiped at his wet face with his free hand. He was so thankful that Spike appeared to be 'back'. He saw the light come back on behind Spike's eyes, as if a switch had been flipped.

"Oh God, why does it have to hurt so much?" Spike asked miserably. The pain was wrapped around him like a shroud. It was hard to draw in a breath.

"I don't know... Betrayal hurts... especially when it's someone you... trusted. You aren't going to try... you aren't going to hurt yourself are you?"

"No." Spike looked ashamed. "Xan, don't tell my mom or Dawn about what I said. We can just say that I ran into a bunch of demons and they got a few good ones in... okay?"

"Sure... just as long as you will be alright."

"You know what the worst part is?" Spike asked. 

Xander shook his head 'no'. 

"The worst part is... that I'm sure now. I love her... I love her so much... when I saw them... it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks."

"God, Spike, I'm... I'm so sorry..." Xander shut his eyes tightly. Then he continued in a soft voice, "Are we... cool again? I missed you, man."

Spike's mouth twitched up into a weak smile. "Yeah, we're cool. I missed you too."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Buffy awoke with a groan. Her head was throbbing and her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. She smiled despite her physical discomfort when she felt a body next to hers. 

_'Spike must've come over in the middle of the night and gotten into bed with me... Shoulda woken me up, the bad boy...'_ She rolled over and put her arm over his chest.

"Mornin', luv," Buffy said with her eyes still closed, rubbing her cheek against a solid, male chest.

"Mmm... mornin', Blondie Bear." Riley kissed the tip of her nose.

Buffy's eyes shot open. Riley's big, smiling, roast beef of a face was looking down on her. 

"Gah!" Buffy propelled herself backwards, falling off the bed and onto the floor on her butt. 

She sat there stunned for a moment. Then her mind went into hyper-drive, trying to think back to last night, frantically trying to recall how this THING could have happened.

"What's the matter, Buffy? Did you drink too much again?" Riley asked, peering over the edge of the bed at her. "You've really got to cut down on the booze, Nummy."

"What the bloody, sodding..." Buffy grabbed a discarded bed sheet and wrapped it around her nude body. "How the fuck did this happen?! I never would have -- Oh God!" she panicked, getting up and pacing back and forth. 

"I came over to --" Riley paused, trying to recall what it was that he had said he was looking for. "Over to find my... CD, and... well... you made it clear that you wanted me. Don't tell me you don't remember."

"I bloody well don't! I... The last thing I remember is -- you coming in the crypt... and 'Melrose Place'... Oh God, what have I done?!" Buffy put her head in her hands.

She knew that if Spike found out about this... it would all be over. She couldn't fathom how she could have gotten drunk enough to -- do what she did. And with Riley of all people. Spike couldn't find out. What if he came in, right now? She looked at her clock for the time, it was 4:30 in the afternoon.

"Get dressed and get out of here! Now!" Buffy shouted. Spike usually came over after school, he could be here any second.

"But... Blondie Bear... the sun's up. I can't --" Riley felt tears stinging his eyes. She was rejecting him, again.

"Leave through the bloody tunnels! Just hurry up and get out!" 

Buffy felt a little sympathy for Riley, even though he was a pain in the ass. She knew what it was like to care about someone significantly more than they cared about you.

"Look, I'm sorry, Riley... It was a mistake, last night. If I wasn't ass over tits drunk, I never would have slept with you or anyone else... I'm in love with someone."

"That stupid Slayer!" Riley jumped up and starting putting on his clothes. "It's always him, isn't it!? It'd be a real shame if he found out --"

Buffy cut him off, "He will _never_ hear about this. If you say one bloody word to him, or anyone else, about this..." Buffy said dangerously, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

Riley smiled, inwardly. He knew that he wouldn't have to. He'd felt the Slayer's presence in the room with them at one point while they were fucking. Buffy must have been too drugged up to notice. Riley had been frightened for a minute or two, worrying that the Slayer might get violent, but Spike had just left without saying or doing anything. He probably ran off somewhere, crying like a little girl again. Riley mentally guffawed, wishing he could have seen that.

"I promise, he won't hear it from me... I won't say a word to anyone," Riley said, stone-faced.

"See that he doesn't. I'm going to take a shower. Be gone when I get back." She started to turn away, then paused. Then she said in a softer, kinder tone, "Go to your precious, sodding France, leave Sunnydale. Get on with your unlife, Riley. You're just settin' yourself up to be hurt, hangin' around me, hoping we can be together... I'm in love with Spike. He's the only one who will ever be in my heart." 

Buffy hurried to wash the sweat and smell of sex from her body.

_'We'll see who gets hurt, Buffy. Yes, we will...'_

Riley finished dressing and made his way through the tunnels, heading for Willy's for a few drinks before going to Sam's apartment to let her know that everything went according to her plan. She was so smart.

The crushed rose laid on the floor in the shadows by the stairs. Buffy wouldn't notice it until much later.

* * *

The next day, the Scoobies gathered at the Summers' home. 

Xander called the rest of them to tell them about 'the incident' and they had come right over to see Spike for themselves. They all had been horrified at his physical state. Xander had whispered what happened to each of them as they arrived, what had happened with Buffy and Spike's utter despair about it. But Xander left out the suicidal Spike part of the story, only telling that bit to Giles. He figured that the Watcher had a right to know what his Slayer's mental state had been. Even though Xander was getting confident that Spike wouldn't go there again, he didn't want to remain silent, just on the off-chance that Spike decided that life wasn't worth living again. Xander wouldn't be able to handle the burden if something happened to Spike because he didn't tell anyone.

Anya had come by earlier, but being the conscientious sales clerk that she was, she left to run the Magic Box leaving Giles free to spend time at the Summers'.

Joyce had been adamant about staying home from work to look after him, but the others were able to convince her to go in. They would tend to him until she got back in the evening. She had reluctantly gone to the gallery, but called home every hour or so to check on him. 

Dawn stayed home from school. She had been unable to go back to sleep after Xander brought Spike home. She could have lost her brother last night. She nearly had and it shook her badly. Dawn had never seen him look like that before. She knew that Spike's slaying duties were dangerous, but he was so good at his job that the baddies never got the best of him, not like this. It hit home again just how easily her bossy, sometimes pig-headed, but overall sweet and loving brother could be taken away from her. Dawn didn't know what she would do without him. 

She bustled about the house, doing anything and everything she could think of to keep busy. She made food for the others, brought Spike drinks and some soup, fluffed up and brought Spike more pillows and put Grandma Summers' quilt on Spike's bed. She also made herself busy by dusting and cleaning the windows.

Willow and Tara sat at the dining room table with some spell books and components, fixing herbal remedies and preparing a few spells to help accelerate Spike's healing. They too, had been worried sick when they'd seen what happened to Spike. 

 

Giles went to Spike's bedroom to talk to him about what happened. He had to make sure Spike was really in his right mind again.

"Spike?" Giles stuck his head into the bedroom.

"I'm bored," Spike said, looking restless.

His wounds were healing more slowly than usual, but there had been some improvement. Spike's eye wasn't quite as swollen; the bruises on his face were bright yellow with some dark spots, instead of just dark and purple.

"Can't I get out of bed?" Spike asked.

Giles came into the room, shutting the door behind him then went over to stand by the bed.

"Out of the question. You have a lot more healing to do first."

"What about a TV? I got nothing to do. I'm going stir-crazy just laying here."

"I'll see about getting a TV brought in for you..." Giles said, staring at Spike.

"What?" Spike had a hunch he knew what was on the Watcher's mind.

"Xander told me," Giles said simply.

Spike looked away, feeling embarrassed and guilty. He hadn't wanted anyone else to know how low he had sunk last night. Especially not Giles. His Watcher was probably ashamed and disappointed in him, even more so than he was with himself.

"I asked him not to..." Spike whispered.

"He did the right thing by telling me. I'm your Watcher, Spike. I think I should be privy to the fact that my Slayer was suicidal. And... more than anything, I'm your friend. I care about you." Giles struggled to keep the volume and tone of his voice steady.

"I... went mental for a little while... I did some stupid things... but I'm better now. You don't have to worry about me going off the deep end like that again."

"I do worry about you, Spike. Are you certain that you won't... regress?"

"Yes. Xander helped me get my head screwed back on straight. My brain kicked in again when he reminded me about you guys... and Dawn. I saw how much it was hurting him to see me... It's scary, I really was out of my mind..." Spike ran a bandaged hand through his hair, letting out a ragged breath. "I can't believe I lost my shit like that..." he trailed off.

"Buffy was unfaithful to you..." Giles said gently. "I'm truly sorry, Spike. I know you were very... fond of her."

Spike tried unsuccessfully to push down the tears that started to build anew in his eyes. "I'm in love with her, Giles... Great time to realize it, eh? I have terrific timing. I-I don't know what to do... How could she... do this to me? It hurts so fucking much."

"I... don't know why..." Giles closed his eyes, trying to retain his composure. 

The pain evident on Spike's face and in his voice were gut-wrenching. Buffy almost destroyed him. It was ironic, she had failed so many times in the past when she had been actively trying to kill him and last night she had almost succeeded, without even trying. If she had, and Spike had been killed, nothing would have been able to save Buffy from Giles' wrath.

"You have a perfect right to, but... please, don't say 'I told you so'. You were right, all of you were right..." Spike turned his face away, his jaw clenching and unclenching. "I trusted her..."

"It will... take time. Heartbreak is never easy..." Giles tried to comfort him. "Does she know... that you _know_?"

"Don't think so," Spike snorted and screwed up his battered face. "She was pretty _busy_ at the time." He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat when he replayed the disgusting scene in his mind. "But... I don't want anyone to go after her... Just leave her be. I don't want her dead... or deader, whatever... I just want her out of my life."

Giles nodded his head slowly. "Very well." As much as he wanted to make Buffy pay, he had to respect Spike's wishes on the matter. A harmless creature was unfortunately off the Slayer's list.

"The same goes for everyone else. No going after her," Spike said seriously. "Make sure they understand that."

"I will. Spike, what would you like me to do when she comes looking for you... she's bound to, eventually."

"I don't want to see her... but I have to tell her... that it's over."

"If she comes, I'll send her up to you." Giles patted Spike's leg before standing up again. He cleared his throat. "I'll go get that telly for you."

* * *

Sam walked up to the Summers' front porch and knocked on the door. And the veteran Initiative Captain fidgeted while she waited. She’d been shaken up when she got a call from Xander earlier, telling her that Spike was hurt badly the night before. Her plan had worked perfectly, but she hadn't counted on him being so distraught that he would get careless with his slaying. Thank God he hadn't been killed. That would have been... unacceptable.

Dawn opened the door. "Hi, Sam." The teenager looked tired, dark circles laid under her eyes.

"Dawn, how is he?"

"He'll be okay. He looked so horrible when Xander first brought him home..." Dawn's lip trembled.

Sam stepped up and hugged the girl. Dawn hugged her back tightly. She wasn't Sam's biggest fan, but she knew that Sam cared about Spike too. 

"Can I see him? I was so worried when Xander called..." Sam said.

"Yeah, he's right upstairs. Go ahead." Dawn smiled.

She only hoped that Sam would be gone before Buffy got here once the sun set. It would be really awkward for all of them. Dawn considered going to Buffy's crypt to tell her what happened, but she irrationally feared that Spike would suddenly take a turn for the worst if she left the house for even a second.

Sam greeted everyone quickly before climbing the stairs to Spike's room. Once outside his room, Sam opened the door and peeked in. Spike was laying on the bed watching 'Judge Judy'. Sam gasped. He looked like hell.

Spike looked over at her.

"Sam..."

"Oh, Spike!" She closed the door and rushed over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. Tears stung her eyes. "Your poor, beautiful face!" Her fingers fluttered just above his face, she was afraid to actually touch him.

"I know I look like shit, but I'm okay. Really. Don't get upset." Spike smiled. "And I prefer the term 'handsome' to the word 'beautiful' when describing myself." Sam was obviously freaked out. He took one of her shaky hands in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

She wanted to weep. Seeing him so battered and broken was excruciating. She carefully put her arms around him, he hugged her back lightly.

"Spike... I don't know what I would have done if..." she sniffed.

"Hey, now, none of that, missy." Spike patted her back. He groaned a little. "Don't hug me too tight, my stomach --"

She released him and pulled away. "Oh God, did I hurt you?" she asked.

"No, I'm okay, you didn't hurt me. I got sliced open a little... damn Polgara Demon. It's healing but it hurts like a bitch." He fingered the large white bandage on his stomach.

Spike was touched that Sam was so concerned about him. A lot of women never wanted to talk to the guy who broke up with them again, he was truly lucky. She really was a good person.

"What happened? You're the best fighter I've ever seen. How was something able to hurt you this bad?"

Spike traced patterns on the quilt that covered the lower part of his body. "It's a long story..." He decided to tell her at least _some_ of the truth. "I didn't tell you this because I didn't want to hurt you, but... I was seeing someone."

"Oh?" Sam said, acting surprised.

"Yeah, well... it's over now. I guess I went a little crazy -- make that a lot crazy -- when... I realized that she really didn't care about me. It was just some kind of game..."

"Oh, Spike..." Sam touched his face lightly. "I'm sorry. I have to admit... that the thought of you with someone else... makes me uncomfortable. But I never want you to suffer." A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "You want me to kick her ass?" She made a show of rolling up her sleeves then cracked her knuckles before adding, "Just point her out and I'll take care of business."

Spike snorted. "No, there will be no kickings of her ass." Then he said, more serious, "Everyone told me it was stupid, that it was wrong, but I didn't listen."

"Is she... anybody I know?" Sam wanted to see if he'd admit it.

"Uh... yeah, it was... Buffy... I know it was crazy, please don't start on me about it, please..."

"I-I'm really surprised... Wow! But... I can see that you're in no mood to talk about it, so I'll lay off." Sam smiled as she held his sprained hand. She thought that she should get an Oscar for her performance, or at least be nominated for one.

"Thanks, Sam. I think my head would explode if I had to talk about it anymore." 

Spike was grateful that they were still friends. Sam was so sweet and kind. She was judgmental, but being a professional warrior demanded that... and anyway, there were lots of worse traits to have. At least she wasn’t a liar. 

_'I should have been more patient and understanding with Sam. She never would have betrayed me like Buffy did... Yet another good thing that I ruined...'_

“What can I get you? Anything you want. How about some nice hot soup? Chicken Noodle, Minestrone?” Sam was eager to make him comfortable -- and make herself indispensable to him in the process. 

She fluffed up a pillow and gently put it behind his head. Spike chuckled at her determination.

"Dawn’s been feeding me so much soup, I might float away. Umm, maybe just some ginger ale... my stomach feels kinda floopy." Spike smiled, lightly rubbing his stomach.

"You got it, beautiful. I mean, handsome. Anything you want, anything you need... all you have to do is say the word. We‘re going to get you back on your feet. I'll get you some of those soda crackers too. They‘ll help settle that cute little tummy of yours." Sam smiled brightly, then went to get him a drink and crackers. 

Things were going well, despite Spike's unexpected injuries. She'd make sure he knew he could depend on her, she wanted him to feel he could lean on her in his time of need. Sam would have him back in her arms, and her bed, soon.

* * *

Buffy waited impatiently at the front door. 

She was worried about seeing Spike after what she'd done, but she missed him terribly. The Riley fiasco had to be kept a secret. Spike would never forgive her for it if he found out. It was only one night, and she hardly remembered any of it. Some flashes of memory came back to her, but everything was hazy; it was like she was seeing it through someone else's eyes. She still didn't know how she'd let herself get that blotto. Tonight, Buffy was certain of two things only -- she could never let it happen again, and Spike could never know.

"Hey, Buffy," Dawn sighed when she opened the door.

"Dawn? What's wrong?" Buffy's stomach dropped. The Nibblet looked exhausted and bedraggled. Something bad had happened.

Dawn took a deep breath. "It's Spike. He got hurt last night... real bad."

"Where is he? Is he all right?" Buffy panicked. 

"He's upstairs --" Dawn didn't finish her sentence, Buffy raced past her and up the stairs to his room.

She threw the door open and ran in, stopping when she took in the scene: Spike was in bed, bandages all over him; his face puffy and bruised; Sam was sitting on the bed, Indian-style; they had been laughing about something when she came in. Their heads turned in her direction. The smile slid off of Spike's face when he saw her.

"Spike... what happened?" Buffy swallowed. He looked terrible. And why was he looking at her like that? "What did this, and tell me where it is so that I can kill it."

"Sam... can you give me a minute... alone with her?" Spike asked.

"Sure. I have to get going anyway." Sam got up, turning her head to Buffy and giving her what could be described as ‘the evil eye‘. 

Then she turned back to Spike, a friendly smile replacing the evil one she’d worn only a moment ago. 

"If you need anything, please give me a call. I'll come by tomorrow... that is, if you don't mind."

Spike smiled. "I'd like that. Thanks, Sam."

Sam bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to one of Spike's cheekbones. Making sure that Buffy had a good view.

Then the Initiative Captain turned back to the doorway, and said in a soft, emphatic voice that could be described as Christ-like, "You take it easy on Dawn and your mom, now. I don’t want anything to happen to you ever again. Bye, Spike.”

A moment of small-scale nuclear tension stretched taut between the three of them.

Then, just before she closed the door fully behind her, Sam turned her head sideways and called into the room softly in passing, “For now.”

The door shut with an almost imperceptible click. Buffy pushed aside her burning jealousy for the moment.

"Spike, what the bloody hell happened to you?" She began walking toward him, her hands already reaching out for him.

"Stop!" Spike held up his hand. "Just... stay there."

"What? What's wrong, Spike-pet?"

Spike grit his teeth. "Don't -- call -- me that. Don't ever call me that again."

"What... did I do? Please, luv..." 

"What did you do? That's a good question. What _did_ you do last night, Buffy?"

"...What?"

"I asked you what you did last night. It's a simple question, really." 

His voice was so cold, so detached. It terrified her. He couldn't know... could he?

_'Oh God, PLEASE don't let him know!'_ Buffy's mind screamed.

"I... went to Willy's... played some poker..." 

"Anything else?"

"That's... about it... Spike, tell me what this is about. I --"

"You left out a little tidbit, didn't you?” Spike spat out.

And despite her horror at the situation, Buffy found herself transiently musing on Spike’s adorable habit of using truly nerdy catchphrases and words with such conviction. She would have laughed, perhaps blocking out the horror of what was occurring. But then, Spike spoke again.

“A visit from your friend Riley."

Buffy felt like she was going to vomit. He knew. Somehow he knew.

"Spike..." she whispered, her face frozen in horror.

"Yeah. I know about it. Do us both a favor and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

"Is... that what he told you? Is that what Riley told you?" Buffy ran through all the painful ways that she intended to eviscerate her former boy-toy.

Spike chuckled mirthlessly. "Plan on shooting the messenger, eh?" His jaw clenched. "Normally, I have really good eye sight, 20/20 vision. I saw you with my own two eyes. I saw you with him -- in bed -- what I thought was _our_ bed."

"Oh God... Oh Spike... please, luv, you have to believe me when I say that I don't remember --"

Spike interrupted her, "Imagine my surprise when I saw the two of you going at it. And you had the nerve to get pissed at me when Dru kissed me... How long has this been going on? Have you been sleeping with him the whole time or is it a recent thing?" Spike's voice shook with anger and humiliation.

"No... No, pet! It's not like that!" Buffy kneeled on the floor by the bed, clutching at his arm. "Please! You have to let me explain!"

Spike shook her hands off of him. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" he hissed at her. "I'm not listening to anything that you have to say! You'll just tell me more fucking lies. Like that you love me. That was a doozy."

"I do love you, pet! I love you more than anything! You know that I love --"

"Shut up! I heard you say the same fucking thing to him while you were riding him! I never want to see you again, you bitch.” A frightening layer of liquid steel shone in his pupils as Spike said with cutting finality, “If you _ever_ come near me again, I'll kill you."

"No, please!" Buffy cried. "I don't remember what happened with Riley! I don't know what was wrong with me! I'd never hurt you, you're the one I want! Why would I purposely bollocks up --"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Spike screamed. 

Buffy flinched away. 

"I hate you. Get out of my room, my house and my life. Now." He fought back tears for the umpteenth time today. He still loved her, so much that it hurt. But Spike couldn't get over her infidelity, her betrayal. It was killing him to even look at her.

"No!" Buffy sobbed. "I love you, Spike! Please, pet --" She tried to touch one of his bandaged hands.

"I said GET OUT!" Spike yelled, eerily reminiscent of his younger sister, and pushed her away, sending her falling back onto her butt. “I don’t want to see you again, I don’t want to hear from you, I don’t even want to hear _rumors_ about you!”

There was loud knocking at the door. 

"Spike? Are you okay?" Xander's anxious voice asked.

Everyone had heard the yelling from downstairs.

"Just a minute, Xander," Spike said more calmly, still looking at Buffy's tear-stained face. "I want you out or I'll ask the others to throw you out. They'd be happy to oblige, I'm sure. Take your pick," his voice wavered and broke slightly.

He was going for cold and detached -- but it came out more pained and emotional than he’d intended. Spike still loved her and didn’t want his friends and family to have to manhandle her. He prayed that Buffy would leave on her own.

Buffy stood up on wobbly legs. The centurian vampyress looked her lover in the eye, knowing there was nothing left to say. Then she walked to the door backwards, facing him the whole time. It was hopeless, but she had to try once more. 

"I don't remember what happened last night... I don't know how it happened..."

"So, by your logic, I'm supposed to forgive you because you got -- what? Too drunk to control yourself? You make me sick," Spike said with disgust.

Even as Spike spat the words out, Buffy turned away from them. Her world was falling in around her. It was too bad she didn’t need to breathe, otherwise she could have suffocated and ended the searing pain that assaulted someone who had seen, felt and mostly committed decades of cruelty. She couldn't stand him looking at and yelling at her like this anymore. 

She threw the door open and ran into Xander who was waiting on the other side, her chip buzzed. She fell down and instinctively grabbed her throbbing head. Xander looked down on the fallen nosferatu with contempt and barely controlled anger. She hurried past him and down the stairs, everyone was standing below, looking up at her.

"Buffy? What's... going on? Why is Spike mad at you?" Dawn said in a trembling voice.

Buffy could only stare at her, unable to form words. 

"Yeah, Buffy. Why don't you tell her?" Xander said from the top of the stairs.

"I-I can't... I didn't mean to..." Buffy pushed her way between Giles and Willow and ran out the door.

"Buffy!" Dawn started to go after her, but Willow caught her arm, holding her back. "Let me go, Willow! What's going on? Why doesn't anybody ever tell me anything?!"

"Let her go, Dawnie. Come in the living room. I'll tell you... why Spike broke up with her," the red-headed witch said softly.

* * *

"Well done, Riley!" Sam smiled triumphantly. 

Riley had come over to her apartment after she’d returned home. She was ecstatic at the way things had turned out. But she wasn’t finished. She still had some payback in store for Buffy. Riley didn’t know about that part. As far as he knew, the plan was finished and was a complete success.

"It worked. It really worked! You should have seen Spike. He was devastated, he'll never go near her again!" She laughed.

"Yeah, great," Riley said without enthusiasm.

"Aww, come on! Be happy, we did it. Buck up!" Sam playfully punched his shoulder.

Riley shook his head. "Buffy still doesn't want me. I'm... just going to leave town... she'll never love me."

"Hmm, that's too bad. I was pulling for you two kids," Sam said with false sympathy. "Oh well. Where you off to then?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. France, maybe."

"Then, Bon Voyage, mon ami!" {Have a good trip, my friend.} Sam said. "I can't thank you enough for the fine work you did."

Riley's head snapped up. "You speak... French?"

"Un peu, {A little.}" Sam said. 

"That's... cool. I like it. Do... you, um, uh, know any more French words?" 

"Uh...." Sam didn't like the little twinkle Riley was getting in his eye, and she promptly changed the subject. "I'm going to spend the immediate future wooing Spike, I'll have him back in no time."

"Aren't you mad at him?" Riley asked, trying to take his mind off his raging libido. "I mean, he and Buffy were together like _that_ ", the unwitting vampire snapped his fingers to emphasize the point before continuing, "You guys were barely --"

"I'm well aware of the facts, Riley. I am upset with Spike. But right now, he needs my love and attention. I think he knows what a stupid thing he did by breaking up with me. Thanks to you!" Sam pinched Riley's cheek to emphasize her own point.

Then, spontaneously, Sam threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He had done so well, that she deigned to allow him to live. Her eyes widened when she felt Riley's hard-on pressing into her hip. 

_Boy, he really does like that French stuff... Hmm, maybe I could thank him for doing the grunt work. When Spike and I do get together, I want to know how to do the things he wants. Those kinky things. I need to work on losing some of my inhibitions. I could use Riley as a... guinea pig. It's not like he counts. He's just one of them... one of those filthy demons.'_

The idea both repulsed and titillated Sam. She went with her gut instinct.

“Oh, Riley?” she said musically.

“Um... yeah?” Riley was hoping she didn’t feel his erection. She’d probably dust him on the spot.

Sam thought back to the French she took in high school. In truth, she didn’t really know all that much. She’d just string a bunch of words together, she doubted if this half-wit actually spoke French.

“Um... J’ai une grenouille dans mon bidet. {I have a frog in my bidet.}” Sam ventured, pulling back to look in his eyes. 

Riley’s eyes were already glazing over with lust. 

Feeling more confident, Sam continued, “Je pense que la robe est trop petite pour vous. {I think the dress is too small for you.}”

“Oh, Samantha, you sound so... you’d... better stop...” Riley moaned.

“Why? Is it turning you on?” She smiled. 

“I can’t help it! Don’t stake me, okay?” He tried pulling away from her, but she held him firmly around the waist then pulled him tighter against her.

“I was hoping that... maybe you could stake _me_...” Sam licked her lips. 

She couldn’t believe how wanton and shameless she was acting. The thought of this big, dumb, good-looking vamp stud, screwing her superior brains out was getting her very hot... She had gotten used to getting it on with Spike on a regular basis, it was harder than she thought to go cold turkey. And maybe she would get some insight into why Spike was a vamp groupie.

“You mean... you want to...?" Riley looked at her disbelievingly.

“That’s right. I want to... have sex you. To show you how much I appreciate everything you did...” Sam kissed along his jaw. “But first, I want you to tell me, and show me, how to give a man... oral sex.” Sam grimaced as she said it, and she still had a hard time thinking about it. But she’d do it for Spike. To make him happy.

“Wow! Really? Cool! It‘s usually super hard to get girls to do that!” Riley swept her up in his beefy arms. “Let’s get started!” He smiled and carried her over to the bed.

Riley still loved Buffy, but he would never turn down sex with an attractive woman (or Brad Pitt, but that wasn't likely to happen). Taking the Slayer’s woman was an extra added thrill. There was nothing like some good, old-fashioned fucking to take your mind off your troubles.

* * *

Buffy sat deadly still on the sarcophagus Spike had hidden in, remarked on and used as weaponry against her so many times. 

She missed him terribly, and wondered what she could do. She lost him. She lost Spike because she got too drunk and had sex with that git Riley, so drunk that she could hardly remember anything about it.

She got up and started pacing around, trying to think of a way to make things up with her Slayer. She had to get him back, to make him see how sorry she was. It wasn’t her fault. She stopped when she accidentally kicked the empty vodka bottle that had caused all the problems.

Buffy bent over and picked it up. 

“This is all your bloody fault!” she yelled at the bottle, then flung it into the wall on the opposite side of the room where it shattered. “I couldn’t have been that drunk!” she yelled/sobbed. “Spike-pet, I’m so sorry... I‘d never hurt you... I never thought I would...” 

She sunk to the floor and hugged her knees, not seeing the shadow signifying a new presence in the dark crypt.

“Hey, Buffy! Thought you could --“ Clem walked in the crypt jovially enough. He stopped dead when he saw Buffy huddled on the floor in tears, precariously close to a pile of glass splinters.

He hurried over to her. 

“What’s the matter? Are you sick or something? You want me to get Spike?”

“He hates me, Clem. He hates me now.” 

Having given voice to her worst fear, Buffy then walked over to her worn, Amsterdam antique chair and dropped down into it dejectedly.

“Aww, that’s crazy talk! He’s nuts over you, kid! I’ve been around long enough to recognize it when I see a guy in love... Did... something happen?” Clem asked.

Buffy nodded, her chin quivering.

He came over and sat on the floor by the chair, looking up at her and taking her hand. 

“What was it?”

“I-I cheated on him... he caught me...”

“Oh... But... why, Buffy? I thought you were in love with him?”

“I didn’t bloody mean to! It just... happened. I don’t even remember most of last night.”

“Don’t tell me, it was... Riley, wasn’t it?” Clem said disapprovingly.

“How did you know?” Buffy was surprised.

“I saw him running around outside your place last night. Oh, Buffy... What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. I... love Spike... I had him... and I blew it. I BLEW IT!” Buffy pounded on the arm of the chair, and Clem silently thanked God that, for her sake, his vampire friend had no memory of the blowing she'd done the previous night. 

“Something‘s fucked, Clem. I‘ve never felt quite that way from drinking before and I've gotten plenty pissed drunk in my time... I think there was something else wrong with me...” 

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I started feeling real woozy while I was talkin‘ to Riley. I was fine when I got home, drunk, but manageably so. It was that last bottle of vodka that did me in.”

“Where is it? Maybe we can find out if it was a -- bad batch or something.”

“Uh, I kind of threw it against the wall... over there,” Buffy pointed to where the bottle had shattered against the wall and ducked her head.

“Well... that makes it a little more difficult...” Clem scratched his wrinkly forehead.

* * *

Riley and Sam laid in bed on their backs after the lovin’.

“That was great!” Riley had a big grin on his face.

“Yeah... it was good.” Sam was a bit in shock at the things she’d done tonight. Not all of it was so bad. It was actually kind of fun in a perverse way.

“Having sex with a human is a trip! You’re all hot and stuff... Nice change of pace,” Riley said. “Did you like it?” He looked over at her.

“It was... yeah. But you understand that this was a one time only thing, right?”

Riley sighed. “Yeah. I know -- you love Spike.” He stuck out his large tongue and made a face like that of a child when they didn't want to eat liver. “What’s he got that I haven’t?”

“I-I don’t know... Well, a heartbeat comes to mind...”

“Pfft! Is that all?”

“No. There’s lots of things... Riley, just drop it.” 

Sam giggled after a few moments.

“What’s funny?”

“I was thinking of Buffy’s face after I gave Spike a kiss in front of her today... very nice. And you should have heard Spike yelling at her! I hung around outside hoping to hear some fireworks, and I did.”

Riley wasn’t feeling as good about everything as he thought he would. Buffy and Spike were broken up, that was good. But he felt... bad for hurting Buffy.

"I could've made her happy, if she let me," Riley said sadly.

"Yeah, that's too bad. Seems like her and Spike had that in common. Not having the good sense to know who they should've been with." Sam got out of bed, putting on her robe. "I'm going to take a shower. You can let yourself out. Thanks again for all the help, Riley. Couldn't have done it without you. And thanks for the sex. I can't wait to try it on Spike!" 

She went into the bathroom.

"Yeah... don't mention it."

* * *

Later that night, after the Scoobies had gone home, Dawn went into Spike's room with a large, steaming cup of her surprisingly edible version of hot chocolate. 

She was disillusioned and hurt -- a little for herself, but mostly for her brother. Willow had told her that Spike found out Buffy was cheating on him. She knew there was more to the story than that, but that's all they told her. They never treated her like an adult.

Dawn put the mug on his nightstand. Spike was turned away from her.

"Spike? You awake?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"Why... Why would Buffy... hurt you like that? I don't understand. She was so happy..."

Spike sighed and rolled over on his back. "I really don't know, Dawn. I wish I did..."

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault," Dawn said miserably.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I... pushed for you two to get together. If I hadn't done that --"

"Hey, come here." Spike held his arms open. 

Dawn climbed on the bed beside him and curled into his arms, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"It's not your fault, not in any way. It's Buffy's fault, and nobody else's." He stroked her smooth, shiny brown hair.

"I really liked her," Dawn said.

"Yeah... me too."

"Is that why you got so beat up last night? Because you were upset?" 

"Kind of, yeah." Spike was uncomfortable talking about this with his little sister.

"I hate her. I wish that someone would dust her," Dawn said, her voice trembling.

"I don't want anyone to hurt her..." Spike said, stroking her hair.

Dawn sat up and looked at him. "Why? She's evil and mean and... She lied to you. She lied to all of us."

"Because... I still love her," Spike said simply.

"How can you? After what she did?" 

"I don't know. But I do. It doesn't... just go away."

"I never want to fall in love." Dawn laid back down in his arms. "People hurt each other. That's all they do."

"That's not true. You can't just close yourself off like that." Spike felt like a hypocrite. That's exactly what he had done and planned on doing in the future. "You're not me, you actually stand a chance at having a _successful_ , lasting relationship." He tried to lighten the mood. "You're not allowed to date until you're 30, by the way."

"What about Mom and Dad? They hurt each other too," Dawn whispered.

"They had a lot of... good years, though. And I know that mom would choose to have... us, if she had it all to do over again." 

It was still hard for Spike to comprehend that Dawn wasn't really his little sister. She was 'The Key', given human form and placed in his family by a group of monks. But she was his sister, in every way that mattered.

"She didn't have me in the first place... I --" Dawn was confused and frightened when she found out she wasn't really who she thought she was.

"Don't start that. You _are_ my sister. Mom and I love you. We couldn't love you more than we already do. We'd be put in jail for it. Okay?" 

Dawn kicked Spike semi-playfully and said 'eww!' before laying back down next to Spike. She wasn't really convinced that she was wanted above any other Darwinian possibility, but didn't want to get into that conversation.

"Are you going to get back with Sam?" Dawn asked.

"I... don't know. Maybe... someday. But it's too soon for me to think about that kind of stuff." Spike had thought about it a little. He was too devastated now, but who knew what the future held? Although he doubted Sam would be available when he was finally ready to move on.

"I didn't like her so much... before. You guys were always telling me to get lost so you could make with the smoochies. But I guess she's okay... Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you some hot chocolate."

"Thanks, Sis. But I'm going to drown if I drink anything else tonight," Spike joked.

Joyce came in the room and smiled when she saw her children cuddled up together.

"Hey, you two. It's bedtime, Dawn."

"Aww, Mom! It's Saturday! Why do I have to go to bed?" Dawn whined.

"Because you've been up almost 24 hours and have been running around taking care of your brother all day. You need to rest, honey."

"Mom's right, Baby Jane," Spike said in off-kilter, too-subversive humor as he bent forward and kissed the top of Dawn's head. "Thanks for taking such good care of me today."

Dawn grinned happily. "I'm glad you're my brother. Night, Spike." Dawn kissed his cheek. 

She was going to make it a point from now on to tell the people she loved how she felt. What happened to Spike last night had made her see the importance of telling people how you felt, because you may not get another chance.

"Ditto, troll-face," Spike replied warmly. 

He felt the all too familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He was mildly astonished that he'd been able to get through the short, but difficult conversation without breaking down. Perverse and bizarre humor had helped, but now he let out what he'd pushed down all day, and Spike sighed in relief when Dawn left the room to get ready for bed. 

Joyce came over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" she asked him, tucking in the edge of the quilt around him.

"Getting better. Dawn and everyone did take good care of me today. Too good," the Slayer gave his mother an admonishing look before adding to ease her responding brow furrow, "the spells and poultice thingies Tara and Willow used on me helped a lot."

Joyce could see that he was trying to put on a happy face for her benefit.

"I heard that... you and Buffy broke up." Willow had filled Joyce in on the basic details. 

"Yeah...we did. It was... messy. I told her... not to come around here anymore. Willow did the dis-" Spike paused for a moment, "the disinvitation spell on the house..." 

"I know how much you... liked her. I'm sorry." Joyce hugged him lightly. She felt guilty for not resisting the relationship and giving it her tentative approval. 

Spike hugged her in return. Joyce pulled back and looked closely at his face.

"Your face does look better. The swelling has gone done a lot. My poor baby, your beautiful, sweet little face."

"Mo-om..." Spike groaned with a smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Alyssa for taking over beta duties for the last four chapters! You're a life saver, hon!
> 
> Thanks to Edgehead and Magz for the kewl banners! :D

 

Buffy walked out of Willy's and lit up a smoke. She had gone to inquire about the vodka he had sold her. The bottle, which she was now convinced, had to be tampered with or defective in some way had been purchased from Willy himself.

Had there been any complaints from anyone else? Was it a bad batch, like Clem had suggested? The answer to both questions had been 'no'.

Buffy was frustrated and pissed off. She had really been counting on hearing that the vodka was bad, laced with something. Then she could have gone to Spike with proof that it wasn't her fault. Now she was back to square one, with no options left. The witches wouldn't help her; she didn't even bother to ask. They'd probably dust her as soon as look at her. She started back to the crypt, for a long, lonely night of self-loathing.

"Hello, Buffy."

Buffy spun around, the cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. Sam stood a few feet away, a smile on her face.

"What do you want? I ain't in the mood, Wonder Bread."

"Gosh, I was so sorry to hear about you and Spike..." Sam's smile curled up even more. "It's really too bad."

"Sod off, bitch," Buffy said coldly. "If I want shit outta you, I'll squeeze your head."

"Tsk, tsk, Buffy! What kind of talk is that? So crude. I just wanted to tell you, you don't have to worry about Spike. I'll take _good_ care of him."

"You ain't enough for him, Sammie. You'll be a _bitter_ disappointment after the things he and I have done together. There's things he likes... things you won't do. You only get on your knees to pray, isn’t that right?" Buffy couldn't resist fucking with her.

Sam's expression got darker, her smile more sinister. "I'm a tree, I can bend. I'll do what it takes to make my man happy. Don't you worry about it."

"Well, goody for you." Buffy flipped her the bird before turning and walking away. If she didn't leave now, she'd get a whopper of a headache from trying to split that bitch's skull open.

The moment Buffy's back was turned Sam reached behind her and grabbed the Initiative issue, stun rifle she'd hidden behind her. She aimed it at Buffy's back.

"Oh, Buffy?" Sam called sweetly.

Buffy growled and whipped back around.

"What --" Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the gun. She spun back around to run. But Sam shot her before she could get more than a few steps away.

Buffy collapsed to the ground convulsing, as tendrils of blue energy zapped through her body. Sam stood over her, smiling down.

"You're going to pay for touching him, whore. I warned you to stay away. No one fucks with Samantha Smith and gets away with it."

Buffy mumbled something unintelligible before passing out.

Sam went into action.

She ran to her car, parked conveniently around the corner then tossed the rifle in the back seat. She ran around the back and opened the trunk, bringing out the chains she'd need to secure Buffy, then ran back to the prone form of the vampire.

Sam thanked her lucky stars that she still had friends in the government. Her old comrade Graham had sent her the vampire strength-proof shackles and a few other goodies that she had in store for the blonde vamp.

After Buffy was trussed up, Sam slung her over her shoulder and hurried back to the car then tossed Buffy in the trunk, none too gently. She slammed down the trunk and got in the driver's seat. Her heart was beating fast, adrenaline pumped in her veins as she started toward what would be Buffy's new home, for at least a few days.

Everything had worked perfectly: Spike would come back to her in time. Buffy was going to be permanently out of the picture soon -- no one suspected Sam of anything. There were no witnesses. The only loose end was Riley, but he'd be heading for France, if he weren't on his way there already.

Life was good.

* * *

Buffy groaned as she came awake. She tried to put her hand on her head but she couldn't move it. She opened her eyes.

"Well, it's about time!" Sam said walking up to Buffy. "Good morning, Starshine. You've been out for the better part of the day."

"Wha... What's going on?" Buffy struggled to process what was happening.

"How do you like the place?" Sam said, gesturing at their surroundings. "This is the same factory you and what's his name? Angelus? Stayed in when you first came to Sunnydale. I fixed up a little corner of it just for you. We'll have lots of privacy."

Sam had cleaned and fixed up a small section of the factory for just this purpose, with a little help from some of her military buddies.

"What do you want?" Buffy looked up, examining the chains securing her wrists.

A large chain was looped over a high steel beam and connected to her shackles. She was suspended in the air, her toes just barely brushing the floor.

"I thought it was fitting, you know. Bringing you back here, where you started. I'll put an end to you here. Full circle. It's kind of poetic."

"If you wanted to stake me, why didn't you do it outside Willy's? Why go through all this trouble? Just so you can chain me up and make me listen to your bloody nattering?"

Sam laughed. "I have lots of fun and games for us to play before the -- big finish, Buffy." She walked over to a table where she had various nasty looking items laid out.

"You've gone nuts, haven't you?" Buffy said with growing anxiety, testing the strength of the shackles.

"Don't bother, hon. Vamp proof," Sam said over her shoulder at the sound of the chains rattling. "You won't be walking away from this."

"Let me go! You barmy bitch! You sodding coward! You can't face me in a fight, even with a chip shoved up my brain?!" Buffy railed against the chains.

Sam walked back over to her with a squeezable water bottle.

"It's not about fighting you. It's about getting even. You look parched, want a drink?" Sam smiled, holding up the bottle.

Buffy eyed it nervously. "Yeah, right. I'm not stupid. Get that away from me!"

"But you _are_ stupid, Buffy! Why else would you step in and steal Spike away from me when he was most vulnerable? I did warn you that you'd pay if you dared to go near him, didn't I?"

"He broke up with you, deal with it! He chose me and you can't handle it." Buffy was trying to think furiously of a way to get out of this.

"But he broke up with you too. Spike made a mistake with you. He sees that now." Sam laughed. "It's really too bad you couldn't hold your vodka and lost control of yourself with Riley. And poor Spike had to see you two in bed." She mock-pouted then grinned.

"Vodka? How did you know I was drinking vodka?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"I couldn't wait to tell you... It was me! I had your drink -- spiked!" Sam giggled at her own choice of words. "It was a special drug which I obtained from some friends of mine, to make you all horny. If Riley hadn't been there, Spike would have caught you humping a chair."

"You... BITCH!" Buffy slid into game face in the blink of an eye and lunged at Sam, snarling and snapping her slavering jaws.

She was primal, feral. Her hands were bent into claws that surely would have ripped Sam's flesh from her body, had they not been suspended above her head. The chip was firing but she didn't feel it yet. The chains rattled and strained, but they held.

Sam stepped back a few paces. She had expected Buffy to go ape-shit, but the suddenness and ferocity of her would-be attack was off putting. It took a moment for Sam to reassert her smug attitude.

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you bloody fucking bitch! If I weren't in these chains --" Buffy roared.

"But ya are, Buffy! Ya _are_ in the chains!" Sam giggled. "See what I did there? I paraphrased the line from 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.' Was that a good Bette Davis impersonation?"

"You have gone fucking loony..." Buffy breathed heavily, her normal features returning.

She was beginning to realize just how unbalanced Captain Cardboard had become. Sam had a crazy look in her eye, one that reminded Buffy a bit of that Renfield bloke. The one in the original 'Dracula' movie, and he was one barmy motherfucker.

"You think so? Why could that be? Hmm?" Sam scratched her chin and furrowed her brow. "Could it be, you think, because I had to listen to you fucking my boyfriend only a few minutes after I left his house? You didn't waste any time, did you, whore?"

Buffy stared at her. _'She heard us -- Oh shit...'_

"That's right, _Hostile 17_. I came back that night. I came back to patch things up with him. But what did I hear? You. You and him. Moaning and groaning. You don't know how lucky you are that I left instead of going up there and killing you both while you fucked like animals. I was this close,” Sam squinted and held up her hand, holding her index finger and thumb a few centimeters apart, "to doing just that... It's not polite to jump another woman's man the minute her back is turned. Time to teach you some manners, bitch." Her face hardened as she finished.

Sam squirted the bottle at Buffy. The water hit her cheek and ran down her neck, burning the skin where it touched.

Buffy howled in pain as her flesh blackened and smoked, she thrashed her head around, trying to shake the holy water off her skin.

"Arrgh! You better _pray_ I don't get out of here, BITCH!" Buffy grit her teeth and yelled, trying not to let out the piercing scream that wanted to erupt from her throat.

Sam grinned toothily. "I'm not concerned about it. You'll stay right here. Until I'm tired of torturing you, that is. Then it's Dustbuster City for you. I think I'll flush your dust particles down the toilet afterwards. It's more fitting. You'll feel right at home in the sewers."

Sam squirted Buffy again, this time on her bare arms. Buffy whimpered and screamed in pain as the water burned trails down her arms. Sam smiled and went back to her table of torture devices.

"Now... let me see...what should I use first?" Sam chewed on her thumbnail. "Decisions, decisions..."

* * *

_Days passed..._

 

Buffy hung limply from her chains, her head lolling, her chin touching her chest. Burns, cuts, (both deep and shallow) and bruises covered her body. Some of her bones had been broken more than once. Sam was very thorough; the Initiative had obviously trained her very well in the art of torture. Buffy thought it was a shame that Sam and Drusilla didn't get on better, they had a love of torturing people in common.

Buffy didn't know how long she'd been here. The days and nights blended into each other after a while. There was no hope of escape, the first few nights after Sam had left for home, Buffy had strained and pulled with all her might on the bonds to no avail. It was no use screaming for help, either. With her luck, some nefarious character would hear her plea and do something even worse to her.

Buffy was too weak to struggle anymore. She hadn't eaten since Sam brought her here. But she remained defiant. She used the only thing she had left to protest: her mouth. Insulting Sam, teasing her, spitting on her. It wasn't much, but it was all she had left. The beatings and treatment she got for running her mouth were savage, but she wasn't going to just dangle there and take it. That wasn't her style.

She slipped in and out of consciousness more and more often. On the whole, she preferred being out. While asleep/passed out, she dreamed of the Slayer. The best dream/hallucination was a recurring one. Spike would come storming into the factory and free her. He'd take her in his arms and cradle her to his chest, telling her how wrong he was to doubt her and how much he loved her, while placing gentle kisses all over her face.

Then she would wake up. If Sam happened to be gone at the time, she'd weep at the profound disappointment and sorrow she felt. In reality, he would never come for her, he detested her now. Buffy hated that the last image she had of Spike was when he was looking at her in disgust and loathing, with tears in his eyes.

Sam had fooled him. She had fooled all of them.

Buffy knew Sam was tiring of the 'games' that she played with her. It wouldn't be long now before it was over. Buffy's demon silently raged and howled inside of her at the indignity of it all, but she was truly helpless. Nothing could stop the inevitable.

"Hey, there, Buffy!" Sam chirped. "You still with me? I guess so, or you'd be dusty."

Buffy weakly raised her head to look at the tall brunette. Sam was wearing a light, floral summer dress that offered a peek of her ample cleavage and showcased her long, tanned legs. Her long brown hair was loose, cascading over her shoulders and down over her back. She was dressed to impress.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to see Spike now. You think he'll like my dress?" Sam executed a little spin. "I have a nice, quiet evening planned with him. I'm going to seduce him; he's going to be so surprised! I didn't do things like that before. I'm looking forward to feeling his strong hands running all over my body again. I can't wait to tell you how it went when I come back tomorrow!" Sam giggled like she was gossiping with a girlfriend.

Buffy mumbled.

"What was that? Didn't quite catch that." Sam laughed, leaning forward slightly.

In a louder voice, Buffy said, "Fuck you, you frigid, barmy, bloody cow..."

Sam sighed. "That potty mouth of yours really needs to be washed out with soap. I'll do that tomorrow. Well, I'm off! Wish me luck!"

Sam grabbed her purse and strolled out, whistling a happy tune.

Sam planned on finishing Buffy off tomorrow, right after she tells her about what she and Spike did. She would watch as Buffy raged impotently for a bit, then she'd dust her evil ass, getting rid of her once and for all.

Sam was only slightly worried that Spike would spurn her advances. People who got cheated on usually wanted to get even by sleeping with someone else too -- she was counting on that. She couldn't wait to try out some of the things she'd learned from Riley on Spike. She really had discovered her 'inner freak'.

* * *

Spike was feeling better physically after a few days. 

He was still a bit sore and bruised but his condition had improved greatly. Joyce, Dawn and the Scoobies forbade him to start slaying again right away, even though he insisted that he was well enough.

The truth was that he needed to do _something_. Resting in bed and puttering around the house just didn't cut it. Every free moment he had was spent thinking of Buffy, loving and hating her at the same time.

As angry as he was with her, he still missed her presence. He'd become so accustomed to being with her. He missed her confident smirk; the touch of her hand; her sexy purr; the deep and meaningful conversations they would have while laying in each other's arms after making love. No, not making love. He had to correct himself when he thought of it as that. It hadn't been that. Not to her.

Spike stood by his bedroom window, looking out on the front yard. He realized that he was sub-consciously looking for the orange glow of a cigarette under the tree, part of him hoped to see it. He sighed and ran both hands through his hair. He had to get his mind off of her for a while.

Dawn and Joyce went to a PTA meeting at Dawn's school tonight. Spike had the whole house to himself for a few hours. He was deciding how he should try to occupy himself when the doorbell rang. He went to answer it.

"Hi, Sam," Spike greeted her with a smile.

"Hi. I wanted to come by and see how you were doing." Sam had come over every day since Spike had been hurt -- talking with him, playing cards, waiting on him, anything she could think of to endear herself to him. Judging by the happy smile on Spike's face, it was working.

"Come in. Wow, you look... great!" Spike's eyes roamed over her toned body briefly as she walked past him into the house. She looked beautiful, even more so than usual. "That's a nice dress, is it new?"

Sam smiled brightly. "I just bought it today, thanks for noticing." She did a little spin then batted her eyelashes at him.

"Uh, you going out somewhere?" he asked, thinking she looked so good that she must have a date.

"Not anywhere special. You want to... hang out for awhile?"

"Sure... I was just trying to think of something to do."

"It's back to bed with you, young man." Sam wagged her finger at him.

"Aw, I'm sick of staying in bed. I'm better now. I'll prove it. You want to wrestle? Two out of three falls?" Spike joked. He meant it innocently.

"Hmm, maybe..." She grinned. "I think I could take ya. You don't look so tough. Now, upstairs. Or do I have to tell your mom you were a bad boy?"

"Geez, fine!" Spike sighed and went up to his room, followed closely by Sam.

He went in and sat on the bed.

"Take off your shirt," Sam said.

"Huh?" He stared at her.

"Your shirt. Take it off. So I can see how you're healing. Don't look so scandalized!" She giggled.

"Oh... uh, okay." Spike laughed nervously, stood back up and stripped off his black t-shirt. "Looks pretty good, eh?" he asked running his fingertips up and down his stomach.

"Yeah, it looks great." Sam felt herself heating up at the sight of his finely muscled torso. There were still some bruises and a dark red line across his abs from where he got slashed, but other than that he looked fine -- very fine.

She stepped up to him put her hands on his chest, moving one over his collarbone, the other sliding down and around to his back then over his ass.

"In fact, it looks perfect," Sam purred, gazing into his startled blue eyes.

"Sam?" Spike gulped.

"You have such a gorgeous body, Spike. So nice and _hard_." She punctuated the word 'hard' by squeezing his ass cheek and pulling him into her. "You always looked so good to me."

"Uh, Sam, what... are you doing?" Spike was shocked and confused by her actions. Why was she doing this? Sam had never been aggressive like she was being now. And they were broken up, she said that she was content to be friends. Much to Spike's surprise, his sex-starved cock was rising to the occasion.

"She hurt you so bad... I want to make you feel good... I'll make you feel so good..." Sam put her mouth against his, brushing her tongue along his bottom lip.

"Sam-mmmph!"

Sam’s tongue invading his mouth cut off Spike’s words.

He was too shocked to put up resistance. She turned his back to the bed and gently pushed on his shoulders until he sat down.

"What... Why are you --"

"Shhh." Sam put a finger to his lips. "Let me make you feel good, Spike. I see that -- _part_ of you is warming up to the idea." She smiled seductively, looking at the growing bulge in his sweat pants.

"But... I... It wouldn't be fair t-to you. I --"

Spike stopped talking when Sam grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head, leaving her in a pair of pink panties. His mouth hung open a bit. Her body was beautiful: full, rounded breasts, taut and toned stomach, long, smooth legs. She had never let him see her nude in the light before. Both her beauty and her sudden brazenness stunned him.

"You like it, Spike?" Sam asked, running her hands up and down her sides. "You like my... tits?"

She was trying to follow Riley's suggestion to talk dirty. It didn't come naturally to her, she had to practice on the way over to his house. She had been a 'good girl' before she came to this town. Riley also said that guys liked it when women played with themselves in front of them.

With that in mind, she fondled her breasts, playing with and tweaking the nipples. She sank to her knees on the floor, between his parted thighs.

"Let me make you happy, Spike... just for tonight," Sam said in a breathy voice while she pulled on the drawstring of his sweats.

Spike blinked at her owlishly, his mouth open and closed silently a few times. He still wasn't able to comprehend that this was the same Sam he'd gone out with for months.

Sam pulled the sweats down slightly, enough for his cock to pop out and say 'hello'. She wrapped her hand around it and took a deep breath, preparing herself for the task.

_'Showtime!'_ she thought.

Smiling up into his wide baby-blue eyes, she lowered her mouth to his prickhead and swiped her tongue back and forth over it.

Spike moaned. "Sam--Oh God--I thought you didn't... We sh-shouldn't be doing this..."

"Shhh..." Sam pumped him firmly in her fist. "Lay back...relax...let me take care of you, baby."

She took the head into her mouth and used her tongue like Riley had instructed her as she continued moving her hand up and down his length. Spike leaned back to let her continue.

Sam was enjoying this. She never thought she would, but his penis was beautiful and more delicious than she would have believed possible. The look of pleasure on his face and the small gasps and moans he made were really turning her on. She couldn't wait for him to be inside her again. She ached for him.

Spike's eyes rolled up slightly, his eyelids fluttered. It felt so good. So good compared to the mind-numbing pain and misery he'd experienced since he walked in on Buffy and Riley four days ago. Sam was so beautiful and kind. She still wanted and needed him. He could tell that she was inexperienced at this; he knew her formerly strong anti-blowjob stance all too well. Those factors made it even more exciting that she was now so eagerly going down on him.

His mind drifted on it's own as Sam sucked on his dick like a popsicle....

Buffy. Buffy loved doing this to him, for him. He loved the way her long, blonde hair tickled his thighs, the way she would scratch her fingernails lightly along his skin, the way she would look up into his eyes adoringly, smiling around his girth as she...

What little blood that was actually going to his brain was enough for him to realize how wrong this was. His body said, _'Yes! Yes!'_ , while his brain kicked in with a louder, _'NO! NO!'_

"Oh God--Sam--Stop--Stop!" Spike gasped and pushed her gently away from his crotch.

His member slipped from her lips.

"Was... I doing it wrong?" Sam asked, her mouth going slack. She would track down and kill that idiot Riley if he didn't tell her how to do it right.

"No... no, you were... It was great..." Spike said, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself back inside. "It's... I-I just can't. I'm sorry."

He got up and walked across the room, running his fingers nervously through his hair.

Sam grabbed her dress and put it back on, feeling angry and embarrassed. "Why not? I just want you to be happy."

"It's too soon... way too soon."

"It's her, isn't it? You're still thinking about... Buffy," Sam spit out Buffy's name, balling up her fists. She couldn't help momentarily losing her cool.

"I'm sorry... it's not anything against you. You're... wonderful. What you were doing felt... so good. But I'm still --"

"Don't say you're in love with her! After she cheated on you with Riley?! Spike, you have to move on! It‘s over between you and Buffy!"

"I know what she did was --" Spike stopped in mid-sentence. He turned slowly around to look in her eyes. "How did you know about that?" He furrowed his brow.

"Huh?" Sam's mind backed up, trying to remember what she‘d said.

"How did you know that she cheated on me and that it was with Riley?"

"You... told me... didn't you?" Sam mentally scrambled to cover her slip up. _SHIT!’_ she thought.

"No... I didn't. I know I didn't tell you because it was too embarrassing to admit. How did you know?"

"I remember now. I... ran into Buffy the other day. It... came up."

"What? You... talked to Buffy about this?" Spike looked at her in disbelief.

"Yeah." Sam was getting more nervous. He didn't seem to be buying it.

Spike shook his head. "And it just... came up? How?"

"She... was bragging about it. How... she fooled you for so long and broke us up... I'm sorry, Spike..."

The whole story was hard to swallow, but merely the thought of Buffy laughing at him was devastating. "I-I need to be alone right now, Sam." Spike turned away from her.

An image of Buffy laughing and bragging to some of her demon buddies over a few pints sprang up in his mind. _'How did you fool me so well, Buffy? I believed you...'_

"Sure..." Sam fixed her clothes.

She was agitated and troubled. Not only by Spike's refusal of her attentions, but also by her almost fatal slip-up. She had let her emotions get the better of her and said more than she'd intended. Fortunately, the situation was still salvageable.

"I-I'm sorry about what happened, Spike. I just wanted to make you... feel good. I guess I wasn't thinking." Sam tried to save face.

"It's okay. I wish I could have... responded the way you wanted," Spike said in a quiet voice, looking out the window.

Sam came up behind him and ran her hand over his back. "When you feel like you're... ready... I'll be here."

Spike nodded slowly without looking at her, his eyes settled on Buffy's old 'stalking tree'. He thought of all the times he'd caught her lurking out there, the ground littered with spent cigarette butts.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sam said, going to the door. "Things will look better in the light of day. They always do."

Things would be much better tomorrow, because Buffy would be dust by then. Sam was full of sexual frustration and rage. She decided to finish Buffy tonight instead of waiting. She needed some satisfaction, if she couldn't get it from Spike, then she'd get it by watching Buffy die. She set off for the factory.

* * *

"Buffy?"

Buffy realized someone was speaking to her and raised her head. Riley was standing in front of her, aghast.

"Bloody hell..." she mumbled.

She had been dreaming and hallucinating more often. Most of the time it was Spike that she saw. Sometimes he'd come to her and tell her he loved her, other times he'd tell her how much he hated her and spit in her face. Now her brain was so damaged that it was conjuring up images of Riley.

"Buffy... Oh God... I didn't know... I didn't know that she was going to do this! I wouldn't have..." Riley was afraid to touch her, she was so beaten and bloodied.

Sam must have been planning this all along and kept it from him. He was angry with Buffy and wanted to get revenge for her mistreatment and spurning of him, but he'd never want anything like this to happen to her. Even a soulless creature like him felt ill at the extensive torture Buffy had endured.

"What... do you want?" Buffy asked weakly, her head dropping down.

"I... wanted to see where she went at night... so I followed her last night. I came back to look around inside to see what she was doing in here. Oh God, Buffy... I'm sorry. I wouldn't have helped her if I knew..."

Tears shone in his eyes. He touched a spot on her face that wasn't too damaged.

Buffy frowned. She could feel him touching her. Did that mean that he was really here?

"Riley? Is it... you? You're not some bloody figment?" her voice was little more than a whisper.

"It's me. You have to believe me, Buffy. I wouldn't have --"

"Never mind that!” she said, getting a little more power behind her words. “Get me out of here! That bitch is crazy... look what she did to me!"

"H-how do I get you down?" Riley studied the manacles and chains.

"I don't know... a key? Look around for a key."

Riley looked around. He blanched at the table of nasty equipment Sam had used on Buffy. He couldn't believe he actually had sex with that insane woman. Sometimes even he had to agree that he was stupid.

"I don't see any keys, Buffy."

"What... about a... release switch?" It was so hard to think straight. Part of her still wasn't totally convinced that this was really happening and not just another fevered but vivid dream.

"I don't see anything like that." He walked back over to her. "I swear, I wouldn't have helped her or had sex with her if I knew. What should I do?" Riley pleaded.

"You... had what with her? Ugh... just... get Spike. Tell him where I am..." It was the only thing she could think of.

"He won't come. He thinks you cheated on him, he doesn't like you anymore."

"Tell him... the truth. Tell him what really happened."

Riley looked at her in horror. "No way! He'll stake me!"

"Spike's the only one that can help me! He won't stake you..." she hoped he wouldn't.

"No way, uh-uh." Riley shook his head back and forth.

"Bloody hell, Riley!" Buffy went into a coughing fit, blood and spittle bubbled out of her mouth. "You have to do it," she gasped.

Riley bit his bottom lip. "I'm... sorry... I can't... I wish I could help you..." He started backing away towards the exit.

"No! Don't go, don't leave me here!" Buffy begged. She hated begging but she was at a severe disadvantage.

"I'm sorry!" Riley turned and ran around the corner. The sound of the door slamming echoed within the factory. It sounded like a tomb door being shut.

Buffy hung by the chains, defeated. There was no hope left. She was a warrior, she deserved the death of a warrior: on her feet, fists and fangs flying. Not this. Not chained up and tortured within an inch of her unlife then unceremoniously staked. It couldn't end like this. 

Buffy was too weak to do anything but hang there and wait. Wait for that nutter to come back and finish her off. It would be an escape from the agony at least; she would welcome that part of it.

* * *

Spike lay on his bed, one arm thrown over his eyes. He wished things could be different. He was in love with Buffy, but only had that epiphany when he saw her screwing someone else. It was a perfect example of his legendary bad timing.

It hurt to think about her. She was out there, somewhere. Was she thinking about him? No, of course she wasn't. It was a game to her. The whole thing was a game. It didn't make any sense. How could she have faked her affection so well? How was she capable of keeping up the act for such long periods of time? The thought that there was more to this than met the eye, niggled at his brain.

Spike sighed heavily. He was just deluding himself with that kind of thinking, wasn't he? He had to face it; she used him. She lied. He was a notch on her bedpost, bedding a Slayer was only a feather in her vampiric cap. He was better off without her.

And what was the deal with Sam tonight? She had stripped in front of him and went down on him. She would have been happy to continue if he hadn't stopped her. He wished he could have let her, but... it just wasn't right. It wasn't fair to her, but most of all, it wasn't right. Buffy was the only one he wanted to do that to him. She was the only one he wanted, period.

He was so fucked, and not in the good way.

There was a light tapping on his window. He sat upright and looked. When he heard the noise, his heart had jumped.

_‘Buffy!’_ his mind shouted.

But he was surprised and bewildered when he saw Riley's big, moon face staring back at him from the roof. Riley looked terrified -- like he was about ready to mess himself.

Spike got up and moved to the window cautiously.

"What are you doing here?" Spike clenched his jaw.

The last image he had of Riley was under Buffy. What he’d seen that horrible night replayed in his mind.

"I... have to t-talk to you... D-don't stake me, okay?" Riley stuttered.

"If you think I'm letting you in my house, you're dumber than you look. And that's quite a feat."

"It's important! It's about... Buffy."

Spike wasn't sure he wanted to hear anything Riley had to say. "What makes you think I give a shit about her anymore?"

It was a lie, he still loved her, but Spike wouldn't give Riley the satisfaction of knowing how badly he had been hurt.

"Please, Slayer -- Spike. I have to tell you some really heavy shit."

The desperation in Riley's voice compelled Spike to at least hear him out before he staked him.

"Alright. On the front porch."

"You won't stake me?" Riley asked anxiously.

"No. Unless you're wasting my time."

"I'll be on the porch..." Riley jumped down from the roof and into the yard.

Spike pulled on a t-shirt. He picked up his lucky stake and tucked it in the waistband of his sweatpants. He would take great pleasure in staking the dim-witted vampire if this proved to be yet another ploy to fuck with him.

When he came out of the house onto the front porch, Riley was pacing nervously.

"All right, what's so important? And be brief." Spike crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay..."

Riley made sure to keep at least ten feet between him and the Slayer at all times, just in case he had to make a break for it. He knew that he was taking a big risk by coming here, but he couldn't get the picture of Buffy hanging in chains, beaten and bloody, out of his mind. Whatever served as a conscience for a vampire had nagged at him until he took some action.

"Buffy's in trouble. Samantha... she... has Buffy. She's hurting her... really bad."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Spike creased his brow.

"Samantha captured Buffy and is torturing her in the old factory. She's going to kill her... maybe soon. But Buffy's in bad --"

"You really think I'm going to buy that? You're nuts. Sam wouldn't --"

"Yes she would! And she did. They didn't have tea parties with the demons they captured in the Initiative did they? They experimented on them, they tortured them."

Spike was becoming more confused. He couldn't fathom that Sam would be capable of such a thing.

"It's true, Slayer. I swear! Samantha had a plan to break you and Buffy up. I... helped her with that part cause I was mad. Buffy was always thinking about you, even when we were... We set it up so you would catch Buffy with me. We gave her a... drug to make her crazy-horny. She was out of her mind on that drug. What happened wasn't her fault..."

Spike was getting more infuriated and disillusioned by the second. He was in shock. What Riley was telling him was too sick to be true. He could only stare at the tall, sandy-haired vampire, trying to absorb what he was hearing.

"Samantha didn't tell me that she was going to hurt Buffy. Spike... God, if you saw what Samantha did to her..."

It was true. Things finally started clicking in Spike's brain. Buffy had seemed so sincere because she had been. What happened really wasn't her fault. And Sam had known the circumstances of their break up because she made it happen.

"She's at the factory?" Spike asked, pushing aside the strong urge to pummel Riley for his part in Sam’s game. He was reeling from the information Riley had given him, but buried his emotional upheaval for the moment. He had to keep his head clear; he had to get to Buffy.

“Yeah. The same one she stayed in when she first came to town. But... you’d better hurry. She’s so messed up and Sam could go back and kill her at anytime. Take your car, I don’t think Buffy will be able to walk.”

“I... don’t have a car,” Spike said, cursing the fact that he didn’t have one for the hundredth time.

“Then borrow one or something!”

“I don’t have a license.”

Riley looked at him incredulously. “What 21-year-old guy doesn’t have a license? Are you mentally challenged or something?” Riley backed up and cowered slightly at the look of menace on the Slayer’s face. “Kidding! Just... kidding...”

“I’ll call Xander,” Spike said. “He’s got a car, he’ll take us.”

“Us? No way, I’m getting out of town fast. Samantha will kill me for sure if she finds out I told you.”

“Fine.” Spike walked quickly to the door then paused with his hand on the knob. “Thanks... for telling me,” he said over his shoulder.

“I had to. I hate Buffy... but I love her too. I don‘t want anything to happen to her... I can't explain it right...” Riley said in frustration.

“I understand,“ Spike said, then went inside to call Xander.

He understood that perspective quite well -- hating and loving her at the same time. He had shared it until a few minutes ago. Now, Spike’s hatred was reserved for his ex, for Sam.

Riley released a shaky breath and made his way back to his place to gather his belongings. He felt proud that he had the guts to come here and tell Spike the truth. He just hoped that Spike would get there in time. Now, off to gay Paris...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Sam walked into the factory. 

She was so consumed with hate for the vampire that she didn’t notice that the light was already on. Riley had left in such a hurry that he had forgotten to turn it off on his way out. Her face set with a sense of purpose and duty. She ambled up to the limp form of the blonde vampire.

“Buffy? Wakey-wakey!” Sam sing-songed.

When Buffy didn’t respond, Sam slapped at her drooping head.

“Wake up, bitch!” Sam spit.

Buffy groaned and lifted her head.

“Hello again, Hostile 17. I hope you don’t mind, but I decided to move things slightly ahead of schedule. You die tonight.”

Buffy glared at her.

Sam smiled and walked over to the table. “Spike and I had such a _good_ time tonight!” she lied. “He really is a fantastic lover, isn’t he?”

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could wrap her hands around Sam’s throat. Picturing Spike and that bitch together made her borrowed blood boil.

“We had a great time. He really liked it when I sucked his dick, said I was a natural. And he’s so -- _responsive_.” She grinned, picking up a stake and weighing it in her hand.

“Shut up!” Buffy meant for it to come out as a roar, but it was more of a whimper.

“Aww, what’s the matter? Does that upset you?” Sam walked back to Buffy. “Does it bother you that Spike and I had fantastic sex for hours and hours? He really seemed to enjoy it too. He yelled my name when he came. It’s too bad I didn’t video tape it to show you.”

In one last act of defiance, Buffy spit in Sam’s face. 

Sam wiped the bloody saliva from her face slowly. “I’m going to enjoy this.” Sam smiled evilly then punched Buffy in her already battered face.

A little more punishment before the finale would be called for.

* * *

Spike sat rigidly in the passenger seat of Xander’s car, staring out the window at the darkened landscape as it whizzed by. 

Xander glanced at him out of the corner of his eye every few minutes as he drove. Spike had told Xander the information Riley had shared with him.

Xander couldn’t get over the fact that Sam had done something like this, setting Spike up like that to be hurt. He had been so wrong about her. Part of him still couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept. Sam was a good person; she would never do that. She couldn’t have.

“Almost there,” Xander said.

Spike tensed. He was anxious to get there and see Buffy for himself, but he was afraid of what exactly he was going to see. What if they didn’t get there in time? What if it was already too late? He might never get to tell her he was sorry, or that he loved her.

Xander pulled over near the factory. It loomed ominously in front of them. Spike stared at it a moment, reliving all the times he’d come here in the past when he and Buffy had still been enemies.

“Stay here,” Spike said, getting out of the car.

“Sure,” Xander said, tapping the steering wheel with his fingers nervously.

* * *

Spike crept silently along the catwalk toward the lighted area of the factory. The dull, stomach-churning sounds of flesh striking flesh echoed off the walls. He peeked down over the catwalk at the source of the sounds. He was stunned into immobility by what he saw.

Buffy (at least he was pretty sure it was Buffy, the person had been beaten so savagely that it was hard to tell) was hanging by chains, suspended to the ceiling. Sam was punching the beaten figure over and over again.

“I am going to miss this, Buffy. All these special moments. But,” Sam held the stake up, “all good things must yadda-yadda-yadda. You know how it goes. When you get to Hell, tell them I sent you!”

“Sam!” Spike yelled, jumping over the railing and dropping the twenty feet to the floor to land in a crouch.

Sam whipped around, her chocolate-brown eyes going wide in shock and disbelief. “Spike...”

He stood up and ran towards her.

“Stop!” Sam commanded, pressing the stake against Buffy’s chest.

Spike skidded to a stop about ten feet away from them. “Sam... what have you done to her? How could you do this?!”

“She never would have stopped coming after you! I had to --“

“Get away from her! Oh God... what did you do to her?!” Spike wanted to weep at Buffy’s condition.

“After what she did to you... you still want her!?”

“I know the truth, Sam,” Spike said tersely. “I know you were the one who set the whole thing in motion. Buffy wouldn’t have cheated on me if you didn’t give her that drug.”

Sam’s mouth opened and closed, she shook her head. “No... You weren’t supposed to know that! Who told you?! Riley? That rat bastard! Did he tell you?!”

“Buffy! Can you hear me?!“ he yelled to her.

Buffy didn’t respond.

“Unchain her -- _NOW_!” Spike bellowed.

“NO! I’m going to finish this!”

“Give me the key to the shackles, Sam.” Spike inched towards her.

“What? This key?” Sam fished a key out of her jacket pocket then waved it in the air.

“Give it to me.” Spike held out his hand.

Sam smiled and threw the key into a nearby open drain. It was convenient for washing away the blood when she was working Buffy over.

“No!” Spike ran to the drain and dropped down on his knees, looking down into it.

The key was gone. He looked up at her with murder on his face: His eyes narrowed to slits, his teeth were bared, a muscle ticced in his cheek. Sam shrank back from his deadly gaze.

“You weren’t supposed to find out! Everything was perfect! This is... unacceptable!” Sam cried.

Spike stood slowly. “Let -- her -- go.”

“I won’t let her have you! I won’t allow it!” Sam turned back to Buffy and raised the stake.

Then just before she could plunge it into Buffy’s chest, Spike tackled her from the side. They flew in the air a few feet and fell together onto the ground.

“Let me go!” Sam struggled beneath him.

Spike snatched the stake from her hand and threw it across the room. He took her by the shoulders and shook her.

“What the hell happened to you?!” he demanded. “Why did you do this?”

Sam, still pumped up with strength-enhancing drugs (courtesy of the Initiative), punched Spike in the face. His head shot backwards. Sam jabbed him in the solar plexus, stunning him long enough for her to kick him off of her. Spike was off his game; he hadn't recovered totally from his demon battle royale the other night. He skidded on the concrete floor on his back for a few feet.

Sam jumped to her feet. “The night we broke up -- I HEARD YOU! I heard you with her in your room... not fifteen fucking minutes after I left! I warned her to stay away from you!” Tears poured down her face. Everything was ruined.

Spike spared a moment to feel remorse and pity for his former girlfriend, as well as a truckload of guilt. It would have been devastating to her. Without knowing it, he had destroyed her. He doubted if Sam could have done something like this before that happened. He got back to his feet, his nose bloodied from her punch.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. But this... this is insane! Lying to me, drugging Buffy, doing... this... to her...” his voice broke when he looked back at Buffy. 

He looked back to Sam.

“She’s a vampire, Spike! A demon! They don’t matter! You think she hasn’t done her share of maiming, torturing and killing? Your beloved Buffy has killed for over a hundred years!”

“She’s changed. She was evil but she’s not anymore. She hasn’t been for a long time. But you... you’ve gone in the opposite direction... If you can look at her and see what you’ve done and not feel pity or remorse... then you’re too far gone for anyone to save you. How could you do this to another being?”

Sam stood and jutted her chin out. “Listen to you. Aren’t you the hypocrite? How many demons have you killed?”

“I don’t fucking torture them! I fight them. There’s a BIG difference, Sam! Is there another key? Tell me!”

Sam smiled wickedly. "No. And you won't be able to break them either. They're enchanted. There was a witch that we caught while I was with the Initiative. She had to be _coerced_ , but she gave us a very effective spell to keep even the strongest demons in chains."

"You mean... you tortured a witch for spells, a human witch?" Spike stared at her in shock.

"She was a demon sympathizer. Gave them places to hide from us, she sheltered them. Too bad her specialty wasn't teleportation spells -- too bad for her, that is."

"I never wanted to believe that... that the Initiative was capable -- that _you_ were capable of..."

"You're judging me again?!" Sam's blood boiled. "You're so high and mighty, aren't you? Just because you're the mystical Slayer you think you're better than me?"

"I can say without a doubt, that I _am_ better than you. And so is she." Spike pointed to Buffy.

Sam exploded in rage. The suggestion that he considered Buffy better than her (that murdering monster -- better than her?!) made her see red. 

Sam gave a war cry and charged at the surprised Slayer. Spike was able to block a series of her punches, but one snuck through and jolted his head backwards. Sam kept up her assault, kicking and punching him in a mad whirl of limbs.

Spike and Sam had sparred several times over their courtship; this was a twisted parody of those sparring sessions. This time Sam was out for blood. Spike was feeling weaker than usual -- his strength was leaving him rapidly. Buffy. He had to beat Sam to help her. Buffy looked so broken, so small... He was reluctant to actually hit Sam, he could kill her if he hit her too hard, but looking at Buffy's limp body again. He was beginning not to care as much if he did.

He felt a surge of strength. Spike caught Sam's fist as she tried to land another punch and punched her back. Sam grunted and flew to the side from the blow. She quickly recovered and sent another flurry of hits at his face. Spike blocked them all effortlessly then went down into a crouch. He executed a leg sweep, knocking Sam's legs out from under her.

Sam landed on the floor, stunned. Spike leapt on her, pinning her down. "I don't want to fight you dammit!" Spike yelled. "How do I get those chains off of her!?"

"There is no way! Get it through your thick skull!" Sam struggled in his grasp. "She'll be rotting in Hell before you get her free -- why don't you cut her hands off, that will work." She smiled then spit in his face.

Spike ignored the spittle dripping off his face and shook her. "To think that I cared about you... I had no idea what kind of person you really were."

"I hope you burn in Hell right alongside your undead whore," Sam growled. "I loved you! But I didn't stand a chance against your vampire fetish, did I?! You like to stick it into something cold and dead!"

Sam tried getting her arms free to hit him again, but Spike had her pinned too well.

"Tell me how to free her -- NOW!" Spike yelled, angry at all the time that had been wasted.

"I already told you -- there IS -- NO -- WAY, you IDIOT!"

Spike released her and backed away. He shook himself to gather his wits. The important thing right now was to get Buffy some medical attention, not to duke it out with Sam.

“I don't want to fight with you anymore, Sam. Leave town. Get out while you can,” his voice was cold.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you threatening me? You’d kill me over that evil bitch?!”

“If she dies...” Spike’s voice was low and dangerous; his eyes glinted. “I don’t want to see you in this town again."

Sam saw that he meant business. She stood up and backed away towards the exit. “She WILL hurt you! Mark my words... if not now, then sometime in the future.”

“LEAVE -- before I change my mind!!” he thundered.

Sam turned, running out the door and out of his life. For good... he hoped. Spike never regretted his ’no killing humans’ policy more than he did right now. Part of him cried out for vengeance on the person who dared harm the woman he loved.

The moment he was sure Sam was out of the building, he rushed to Buffy‘s side. His hands fluttered just above her skin, the tears he’d been holding back spilled down his sculpted cheekbones.

“Buffy! Please wake up... can you hear me, Buffy?”

Buffy groaned and somehow found the strength to raise her head. She opened her eyes to see Spike standing in front of her, his beautiful face wet with tears. It looked like he'd been fighting again. She  
was sure it was just another hallucination. It couldn’t really be him. He couldn’t care less whether she lived or died anymore. At least it seemed like this vision of Spike was a friendly one, he wouldn’t yell at or berate her.

“Buffy, please... can you understand me?” His sky-blue eyes searched hers for that spark that made Buffy, Buffy.

“Spike...” she croaked. “I know you’re not really here, pet... but... I’m glad the last thing I see will be your face.”

“Buffy, I’m here! I’m really here!” He looked around frantically, trying to think of a way to get her down from the chains.

“That’s what you always... say...” Her head dropped back down to her chest.

“Buffy?”

Spike became even more frightened when she didn’t answer him. He had to get her out of here immediately. In a near panic, he took the chain in his fists and pulled. The chain was undamaged. He took a deep breath and pulled harder, feeling one of the links give slightly. He grit his teeth as he pulled, the links of the chain bit into his palms. Blood running from his lacerated palms made the chain more slippery, making it difficult to get a good grip. But Spike tried again, pulling with all his might as he focused on Buffy’s slack features.

There just wasn't any way he could break it. This was as good as it was going to get.

"Dammit!" Spike sobbed. "Think--think--think! There has to be a way..."

The enchantment on the chains and his weakened state proved too much for even his enhanced strength. Spike looked around frantically. He looked up and saw the steel beam that the chains had been looped over.

Spike crouched down then launched himself into the air. He grabbed onto the beam and hoisted himself up onto it. Then he began punching it, dents appeared in the surface. His hand was becoming bloodier by the second, but he kept punching the steel. When he'd almost punched all the way through, the beam began to groan and dip down under his weight.

He could see that he had to move quickly to keep Buffy from being hit by the falling girder. His heart hammered in his chest as he leapt off the beam, landed on the floor then ran to Buffy -- he did it all in the blink of an eye. He pulled her out of the way just before the metal crashed down on the spot where she had been a moment ago.

The chains were still attached to her but now he could take Buffy home and get her some help. They could figure out a way to remove the manacles later.

Spike gently laid her on the floor then stood, removing his brown leather jacket. He wrapped it around her and picked her back up in his arms, piling the chain on top of her stomach. He didn’t know whether trying to keep her warm with his jacket would help or not, he didn’t know what to do. Carefully, but quickly, he made his way out of the factory and back to Xander’s car.

Xander saw them coming and jumped out of his car.

“What happened? I saw Sam run out of there like a --“ Xander stopped when Spike got closer and he got a look at Buffy’s face. “Holy shit! Did... Did Sam do that?” Xander’s voice trembled.

He wasn’t a Buffy fan, but even he was shaken that someone could do this to her. Especially the seemingly kind-hearted Sam. The thought that he had actually encouraged Spike to be with her made him sick.

“Yes... she did. Open the door. We have to get her back home,” Spike said tightly.

“Yeah... yeah, okay. Sam fought with you?” Xander noticed a few new bleeding injuries to Spike's face and hands.

Spike nodded without commenting further.

Xander tore his eyes away from Buffy and opened the back door for Spike.

Spike got in and settled back against the seat, holding Buffy gently in his arms. Xander jumped back in the car and drove as fast as he could away from the factory.

"Do you have your pocketknife on you?" Spike asked.

"Y-yeah... why?"

"Give it to me."

"I say again, why?"

"I'm going to cut my wrist. Buffy needs blood. My blood will help her heal." Spike's voice was low and shaky.

"I'm not letting you do that," Xander said, looking in the rearview mirror.

"Don't start with that shit! Give me the damn knife!" Spike said through clenched teeth, trying not to raise his voice to upset Buffy.

"No. Spike -- think about it. You're not quite up to snuff yourself. You're still recovering from the other night. And you were just in another fight. You're too weak to spare any of your red stuff."

Spike was quiet, thinking it over.

Xander continued, "Remember when you saved Dru's life by letting her drink from you? She didn't intend to hurt you -- but she nearly killed you in the state she was in. What if Buffy went nutso like that? It... wouldn't be her fault, but... You want to be able to help her, right? You can best accomplish that by getting your strength back and recuperating. Not weakening yourself even more. And imagine how she'd feel if she hurt you without meaning to..."

Spike closed his eyes and took a breath. He knew Xander was right. Straight thinking wasn't Spike's strong suit when it came to the people he loved being in imminent danger of death.

“Okay... you're right," Spike said softly. "Stop at Lou’s Butcher Shop. We have to get blood -- and lots of it.” Spike scanned Buffy’s face for signs of life and absently brushed a blood-soaked strand of hair off of her forehead.

“You got it,” Xander said, mentally mapping out the route to the butcher shop. He was more than relieved to have talked Spike down from giving Buffy a few pints of Slayer blood.

All the way to the shop and to his home, Spike gently caressed her ruined face, whispering and cooing to her that everything would be all right. He didn’t know if it was true, but he needed it to be.

She had to make it. He couldn’t lose her, not now. Not ever.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

Buffy emerged from a deep, coma-like sleep slowly, feeling disoriented. 

Before she opened her eyes, she inhaled. Her Slayer's scent was all around her, wrapping around her like a warm blanket. She was lying on something soft and yielding. A bed? She opened her eyes to survey her surroundings.

Late afternoon sunlight filtered through drawn blinds, suffusing the room with a soft, golden color. She was in Spike’s bedroom, on his bed. She wondered if she was truly dead and this was some strange version of the afterlife.

“Buffy?” Spike’s voice came from the doorway.

She turned her head to him and smiled weakly. If this was the afterlife, someone wasn‘t minding the switch; surely she couldn’t have gone to Heaven.

Spike was standing in the doorway, holding a plate with a ham and cheese sandwich in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. A smile of purest joy spread over his handsome, angular features when it registered that she was really awake. It wasn’t just one of the many dreams he had the past few nights

He went quickly over to the bed, setting his plate and glass down on the nightstand before sitting carefully next to her.

“Buffy... you’re awake,” Spike said, stating the obvious.

"Spike... what... happened?" she rasped.

"Sam left town, she won't hurt you anymore. You're safe." He smiled and put his hand over one of her bandaged ones.

Buffy lifted her arms up slightly, noticing the network of bandages, crisscrossing her arms.

"I'm covered with these things, ain't I?" she asked. "God, must look like the bleedin' Mummy."

Spike laughed lightly, he felt giddy with relief. She was going to be okay.

"You're healing really well. Willow and Tara have been doing some healing magic and putting some smelly, but effective balms on your skin. Mom and Dawn helped to make sure you were nice and comfy. Xander's the one that drove me to the factory to find you and helped me get you back home. We've been giving you lots of blood too. It'll be a lot easier now that you're awake."

"You lot actually took care of me? Hmm... I woulda thought Harris would want to toss me in a dumpster or something. What about the Watcher? He apply cold compresses to my forehead or anything?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"He's been around a lot the last few days too. His contributions have mostly been polishing his glasses and saying, 'Good Lord', a lot."

They chuckled.

Buffy looked into his eyes and squeezed his hand lightly. "Thanks... pet. I don't remember a lot of what happened in the factory towards the end, but I know I was in a real bad way."

"Yeah, but you're getting better every day."

Spike wasn't going to mention that Xander did suggest maybe putting Buffy out of her misery. He had gone off on Xander at the time, but upon reflection, Spike realized that his friend had only suggested that because it seemed the most humane thing to do at the time. He wasn't trying to be cruel. But Spike knew that Buffy was a survivor, he would never give up on her.

"How long was I out?"

"Three days. I'm so... relieved that you woke up." Spike looked down shyly.

Buffy smiled at him. She was touched that all of them helped take care of her in her convalescence. She hadn't expected any kindness from them. Most of all, she was grateful beyond words to see him smiling at her again.

"Hey, if I've been in a coma for three days where have you been sleepin'?"

"On the floor." Spike bent over and picked up his sleeping bag to show her.

"Spike... I'm sorry, I --"

"It was my choice. I could've slept on the couch... but I wanted to be nearby... if you woke up or needed me." Spike blushed adorably.

Buffy regretted feeling so tired, sore and shagged out, otherwise she would've jumped his bones. "That's lovely, pet." Her eyes teared up. "I --" Her eyelids kept wanting to close.

"You still need to rest. I'll clear out so you can get some sleep. I'll take my food downstairs." Spike bent over her, hesitating a moment before kissing her on the forehead.

He wanted to tell her he loved her, but decided to wait for a better time, when she was more rested.

"You don't have to leave..." Buffy said, her eyes starting to drift shut.

Spike touched her face lightly, happy to see that most of the swelling and bruising was disappearing. "I'll be back in a little while to check on you, okay?" Spike said gently, tucking a strand of her golden hair behind her ear.

She nodded. 

He picked up his glass and plate and quietly stepped out of the room. He couldn't wait to tell everyone that she'd finally come to. All of them had a newly found respect for the vampire. They agreed that anyone who could withstand that kind of physical and mental torture was worthy of admiration.

* * *

_3 days later..._

Buffy was feeling much better. 

She was impressed with her own recovery speed. She had the rest of the Scoobies to thank too; they really did try to look after her on the occasions Spike wasn't tending to her. There was still one more need she had that she hoped he'd fulfill soon.

Spike was being so sweet and gentle with her. He brought her blood, spicy wings, blooming onions, whatever she wanted. She could tell that he still cared for her, but they hadn't talked much about their feelings since she'd regained consciousness. Buffy wanted to forgive and forget, she'd gladly take up where they had left off before those pillocks Sam and Riley fucked with their lives. Though, she would give Riley a pass if she saw him again. He did save her unlife by telling Spike the truth about Sam's treachery.

Last night had been especially nice. Buffy sighed happily when she thought of it. 

Spike had come up to bed and laid on his sleeping bag. She couldn't sleep knowing he was that close but out of reach, so she asked him to lay with her, and he did. He spooned against her back and held her as she drifted off. Buffy could feel the hard muscles of his chest against her back; he had draped one strong arm over her waist. Part of her wanted to roll over and take him, make him hers again. Her body however wanted rest more than anything else, and she fell asleep despite her impure thoughts.

Tonight though there would be no drifting off if she had anything to say about it. Buffy wanted him more than ever before. It was the perfect night for it. Joyce and the Nibblet were conveniently away at Aunt Marie's for another fun-filled weekend. And Buffy was feeling much stronger; there was hardly any pain at all anymore. It would just be Spike and her in the house. Alone. They could make as much noise as they wanted.

Now all she had to do was wait for him to come upstairs. Buffy wiggled her feet and picked at her fingernails that Dawn had painted black for her this afternoon.

_'Should I go look for him? No... no, this is better. Yeah... I'll wait for him. I could look all seductive and come hither. Wish I could see my bloody reflection. Want to look good for him...'_

Buffy picked up a hairbrush and dragged it through her bleached blonde locks. Trying to primp a little before he came up. Maybe she could put on one of his t-shirts with nothing underneath...

* * *

Spike looked back at his nervous reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror as he brushed his teeth. 

He wanted to look and smell good for Buffy tonight. He already had his shower and was currently wearing a white towel around his waist. After his teeth were gleaming he took a comb and ran it through his wet hair.

“Stupid curls...” Spike tried taming the curling tips of his hair.

He was going to tell Buffy that he loved her tonight. It was the perfect time for it. She had recuperated enough that she didn’t need to sleep around the clock and her mind was much clearer... and they were alone in the house. In fact, he had asked Joyce if she and Dawn could visit San Diego again this weekend. Joyce had been surprisingly easy to convince. She must have known they needed to be alone together.

Spike wanted to have complete privacy for this moment... and if, on the off chance, Buffy wanted to make love, they were free to do so without worrying about Joyce or Dawn walking in on them. Spike _really_ hoped she wanted to; it had been almost too much temptation, holding her petite, yet powerful, body in his arms last night. Part of him wanted to roll her over and make love to her all night long. Only reminding himself about her need for more rest and healing stopped him from doing so.

What if she didn’t love him like she had before? What if his hurtful and angry words to her after the Riley incident convinced her that they shouldn’t be together? What if she couldn’t get over the way he had talked to her?

Spike shook his head to dispel the nerve-wracking, almost panic inducing thoughts. Of course she’d want him... but he had something else he was going to offer her tonight, besides his heart and his body. It would show her beyond any shadow of a doubt how much he loved and trusted her.

Spike looked in the mirror and took a deep breath.

“Okay. You can do this. Piece of cake. Right?”

* * *

Buffy heard his footsteps in the hallway. 

She moved quickly to position herself on the bed, leaning back against the pillows, one arm behind her head the other resting on her stomach. One leg bent at the knee, the other straight, her toes pointing downwards. No underwear, of course.

Would he still want her? What if he couldn’t get over seeing her and Riley together? Even though he knew it had been out of her control, what if the disturbing image was burned into his brain for all time?

_‘Stop it! He still cares about you... he’ll still want you. Stop scarin’ yourself more to death, you git! Calm blue ocean, etc.’_

Buffy took some deep breaths to steady her nerves. She could really go for a smoke right about now.

Spike opened the door and poked his head in. His eyes got wide when he saw her lying on the bed. 

A smirk was planted on her lips. She was wearing his old Sunnydale High football jersey (he had played for a short time when he first came to the school). She looked so sexy, so beautiful... He gulped and walked in the room to get some pants to put on. He felt a little nervous just wearing the towel, especially with her looking like that. He was already getting stiff under the terrycloth.

Buffy’s eyes got rounder when she saw the towel wrapped around his lean waist. Bloody hell, that boy could wear a towel like nobody else... but she preferred it when he wore nothing at all.

“Hey, Buffy. I... uh, just let me get something to wear and --“

“What you’re wearin’ now looks pretty... good to me, luv,” Buffy said, mentally ripping the towel off with her teeth. “Come sit with me, pet.” She rubbed her legs together like a cricket. “I need to talk to you.”

“Oh... okay... I actually wanted to... talk to you too.” Giving up on finding something else to wear, and since he wanted to entice her anyway, he decided to go with the towel; it seemed to capture her... interest.

Spike went over and sat on the edge of the bed. They looked at each other nervously for a moment, and then laughed lightly.

“We both seem to be a bit nervous,” Buffy said, feeling more like her chaste, geeky pre-vampire self.

“Yeah...” Spike said, glancing away bashfully.

“You go first,” they both said at the same time.

They laughed again.

“You go ahead, Buffy. I’ll wait.” Spike smiled.

“Um... okay.”

Spike looked so edible, so mouth-wateringly, shaggably fantastic... She became hot and wet the moment she saw him enter the room. Plus he smelled oh-so-clean and fresh. It made her want to stink him up a bit the old-fashioned way.

“Okay... here it goes. Spike-pet... I don’t know how you feel, but I... still love you. Even more now, if that’s possible. And I want to be with you again. They way we were before... we were so rudely interrupted.” Buffy held in a breath (she kept forgetting she didn’t need to) waiting for him to respond.

“Really?” Spike smiled slowly.

Buffy nodded her head emphatically.

“Thank God!” Spike breathed out. “I feel the same way. I was... nervous that maybe you didn’t want to --“

Buffy was on him in a split second, kissing his sweet lips, trying to touch him all over at once, his face, his sexy, wet, spiky hair, his strong shoulders, chest, and beyond. She wished she had a few more sets of hands to feel him up good and proper.

Spike responded readily. Thrusting his tongue in her mouth, putting his hands in her hair then moving them down her body, stroking her back, sides and ass.

He broke the kiss, panting for breath. Buffy moved her mouth to his neck, licking and sucking over the marks _the others_ had made on him and wishing she could add her own.

“Wait a minute,” Spike panted. “I’ll be right back.” He pulled away from her and stood up quickly, she practically fell forward on the bed, still reaching for him.

“What?” Buffy finally managed to ask, but he was already out of the room.

She tried to get herself under control until he got back. Her engine was revved and she was ready for much, much more. Her body was vibrating with excitement.

A few minutes went by.

“Where the bloody hell is he?” Buffy bounced impatiently on the bed.

Finally, she heard him bounding back up the stairs. He came back in the room, a little breathless and flushed, holding his towel together in the front with one hand; his other hand was behind his back.

“Sorry, it took me so long.”

“What’s the story, pet?” Buffy asked with an amused smile, her eyes drawn to where his hand kept the towel closed.

“I went to get you this.”

Spike took his hand out from behind his back, presenting her with a red rose from the bush on the side of the house. He wanted to replace the memory of the last time he’d clipped a rose to give her with this one. He didn't want to tell her about that part.

“Be careful of the thorns,” he warned.

Buffy smiled and looked into his eyes. “Thank you, luv.” She took it from him, brushing her fingers over his hand and inhaled its scent. “It’s beautiful. You didn’t have to go to all that trouble...” She looked up at him coyly through her lashes.

Secretly, she was thrilled that he wanted to do little sweet, romantic things like this for her. It confirmed that he still cared for her.

“Now, why’s the towel all... askew?” she chuckled.

Spike blushed. “It kind of got snagged on the rose bush, a little bit,” he said, securing the towel better around his waist.

“Sorry I missed that,” Buffy said saucily, curling her tongue behind her teeth and brushing the soft, fragrant petals of the rose against her cheek.

“Well, our next door neighbor, Mrs. Kravitz didn’t. She was taking out her trash and got a big ol’ honkin’ eyeful.” Spike blushed even more. "Man, I know she's going to tell Mom. Not to mention the rest of the neighborhood... I _knew_ I should've put some pants on!"

Buffy laughed. “Oh bloody hell, that’s prob’ly more action than the old bird’s had in ages!”

“It’s not funny!” Spike said with a smile involuntarily creeping onto his own lips.

“Sure it is,” Buffy said, moving closer to him, her eyes roaming over his chiseled chest. “Hmm, am I gonna have competition now? Can’t imagine that she wouldn’t want a piece after seeing you... au naturale.”

“Gross, Buffy! Please don’t put that image in my head! She’s like 75-years-old!”

Spike mentally added another disturbing thing to his ‘Erection Killers’ list. He could cue that thought up anytime 'Little Spike' popped up at an inappropriate time (like in class or the grocery store) and it would do the trick.

“Aww, sorry luv. C’mere, I’ll make you forget alllll about it,” she purred, setting the rose aside on the nightstand.

Buffy put her hands on his hips and drew him to her. She massaged his hips while placing small licks and kisses on his abdomen, tracing the faint red line that was left from his injury with her tongue. Spike’s eyes fluttered shut at the feel of her lips and tongue on his skin again, his hands fisted in her hair. He had missed this so much. He had missed her so much. When he felt her hands starting to remove the towel, he remembered he still had something to say before they began.

"Buffy, stop. Wait." Spike put his hands over hers, stilling them.

Buffy stopped and looked up at him. She was distressed at yet another interruption before she could ravish his hard, young body. She was about to voice her protest, but the serious look in his eyes made her bite her tongue. Whatever he wanted to say was important to him. She nodded and sat back.

Spike sat down on the bed and faced her. Taking her hands in his, he looked deep into her sea-green eyes and took a deep breath.

"First, I want to say... how sorry I am about all the shit that happened. I'm sorry I didn't believe you about the... Riley thing."

"Pet, I don't blame you. I'd have gone bug-shagging crazy if I saw... the same kind of thing." Buffy squeezed his hand and smiled. "Let's not talk about that anymore. It's over..."

She was nervous that he was dwelling on the Riley incident. Maybe he really wouldn't be able to get over it...

"I realized something after I saw you... with him. It hurt so much... I realized that... I love you," Spike said nervously. He knew that she loved him, so he wasn't risking rejection, but admitting things like this scared the shit out of him.

Buffy blinked slowly then tilted her head; she looked at him, awestruck.

"Could... you repeat that?" A smile full of joy and amazement tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Spike laughed lightly. "I said, I -- love -- you. I love you... More than you know. More than I should," he purposely used the words that she had once said to him as he cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked her with his thumb.

"God... pet... Do you mean it?" Buffy breathed.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I'm in love with you, Buffy."

He caressed her face and leaned in, pressing his lips softly against hers. Since she was still recovering from her ordeal with Sam, he was endeavoring to be as gentle as possible.

Buffy, on the other hand, had other ideas. She kissed him back with everything she had and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him roughly against her. She moved her hands over his face, neck and shoulders. Their tongues danced together as the kiss deepened, becoming more lustful and fiery by the second. They lost themselves in their lovers' embrace.

Buffy inhaled sharply. "Ow!" she groaned into his mouth.

Spike immediately pulled back in alarm, panting for breath.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, baby! You have to take it easy, you still have to heal." Spike could've kicked himself for getting so swept up in the moment and forgetting to be gentler. "We can... do this another night."

Buffy smiled, wincing slightly, rubbing her slightly sore ribs.

"Take it easy? Take it easy, he says! The man I've loved for lo' these many moons, tells me he loves me too -- and you want me to take it easy? Not bloody likely!" she laughed.

"I want to make love to you, but... No, I wouldn't want to hurt you..."

"Spike-pet, I want you. I need you. I want you to _make love to me_ ," Buffy said huskily, moving back against his body then kissing along his shoulder and neck.

Spike closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. "You'll... tell me if I'm... hurting you?" he asked softly.

"Promise." 

Buffy would not be denied his body tonight. She didn't care how bloody much her ribs complained. The pain would be tempered by the exquisite pleasure she felt when he was kissing her, touching her, and buried inside of her.

Spike kissed her neck and slid his hands around to her back and under the jersey she wore. He smiled against her neck as he squeezed and kneaded her bare ass.

"Spike... Mmmmm! Ohh, luv..." Buffy moaned, running her fingers through his hair.

Spike gathered the bottom of the jersey in his hands and lifted it up. Buffy raised her arms to allow the shirt to slip over her head. He tossed it onto the floor then put his mouth back against hers. He pushed his tongue past her parted lips and began to explore her mouth.

"Want you! Oh God, Spike! Want you so bad, pet!" Buffy gasped between kisses.

She ran her hands down over his chest and stomach, down to the towel. Grinning, she untucked it and let it drop away from his waist. She had wanted to do that ever since he came in the room the first time. Buffy loved it when he wore towels, they were so much fun to remove -- like unwrapping a Christmas present. She immediately reached around and grabbed two handfuls of that tight, hot ass of his -- squeezing and massaging his globes. One of her hands snaked back to the front and took a hold of his rock-hard cock.

"Buffy! Uhhhh!" Spike moaned against her neck, as she began pumping him up and down.

He shifted position to kneel on the bed, gently pressing her shoulders back. Buffy lay down, gazing up at him and panting for breath she didn't need.

Spike crawled up her body, dipping his head down to continue kissing her. He broke away to kiss her neck then moved down to her chest, licking, sucking and biting at her pink nipples. Buffy held his head to her chest.

"Aaaahh--Spike--Yessss!" She squirmed beneath him.

It was pure Heaven having his hot mouth on her tits while his hands moved all over her body. She grinned and tilted her head back when she felt him moving down further, softly kissing across her stomach, thrusting his tongue into her navel and licking around it before moving down again.

Spike raised her legs, running his hands over the backs of her thighs as he lowered his head and reverently kissed her trimmed pussy. He kissed and licked along the insides of her thighs and the creases where her pussy and legs connected. When she started thrusting her mound at his face, he took the hint and planted his lips firmly against her nether lips and slid his long tongue inside. In and out, up and down. He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue, moving ever closer to it. Finally, he flicked the bundle of nerves slowly then more rapidly. One of his hands went to her pussy, rubbing his long fingers along her gash before worming one into her hole.

Buffy grabbed handfuls of his spiky blonde hair as he ate her cunt. _'HOLY FUCK! I've trained him well! Ohh sooo bloody marvelous!'_

She thrashed and bucked under his mouth as he licked and sucked her into a lather, her head whipped from side to side. She released his hair and took fistfuls of the sheets instead.

"OH YES! Uhhhh! I'm gonna cum! Oh GOD!" Buffy threw her head back, pounding the mattress with clenched fists. Her heels drummed on his back.

Spike took her clit in his mouth, locking his lips around it, sucking hard and dragging his tongue over it again and again while he fucked three fingers in and out of her snatch. He looked up into her enraptured face as he brought her off. She looked so beautiful when she came, like a dirty-mouthed goddess.

"NNGGHHAA! SSSPIKKKE! F-F-FUCKYES!" Buffy shuddered and came; her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth opening and closing.

Spike took a moment to suck up some of her cum before quickly moving up her body and plastering his mouth against hers. He knew she liked tasting herself on his tongue. At the same time, he positioned his hard cock at her entrance and thrust in, in one long, slow stroke. She was so wet that he slid in easily. He moaned and shut his eyes at the feel of her still quivering pussy, clamping and unclamping around his shaft.

Buffy brought her knees up to his sides and kneaded his ass with her feet, pushing him into her even further.

Spike rose up on his hands, one planted on either side of her head, and began gyrating his hips slightly, moving his thick cock around inside of her. Buffy relaxed her legs and let them fall back to his sides. They groaned and gasped as he began moving slowly in and out of her. They opened their eyes and locked gazes as he pumped into her. They moaned, their breathing becoming more labored.

"Ohhh--Yes! Harder, pet! OH YES! FUCK!" Buffy felt like weeping with pleasure.

"Ahhh! Buffy! Missed you--so much!" Spike panted as he fucked her faster and faster.

"Uhhh! Missed--you--tooooo! Ahh--Fuck me! FUCK ME!" Buffy dug her nails into his arms and raked them up and down.

Spike buried himself completely in her snatch and stopped, then swiveled his hips, grinding their pelvises together. He thrust in and out hard and fast a few times then repeated his earlier action of burying himself in her, stopping and then the grinding motion. Buffy gasped then suddenly flipped them over. Spike made a surprised sound. She rose above him, a naughty smirk on her lips, her hands roaming over the muscular planes of his torso.

Spike smiled up at her with hooded eyes, running his hands up and down her outer thighs. If she wanted to drive for a while, that was more than fine with him.

Buffy moaned and started moving up and down on his dick again. Her bruised ribs were long forgotten. The only things she was aware of were Spike and the incredible pleasure he gave her. She bent over him, her hands on either side of his head, as she continued grinding down onto his cock. Her tits hovered over his face invitingly.

Spike lifted his head and took a nipple into his mouth while one hand kneaded her other mound. His other hand glided over her hip, back and ass as she bounced on him. He pulled at her nipple and sucked it between his teeth, nibbling on it before moving to the opposite nipple.

Buffy cried out and bucked even faster onto him. He was so deep inside of her, she felt as if she could feel his cock all the way up in her throat.

"Uhhh--Buffy! God--I love you!" Spike moaned as he slid both hands down to her hips, taking them firmly in his grasp.

Buffy had a mini-orgasm as soon as he said those words again. The words she had never dreamed he'd say to her. She gasped and trembled then started moving up and down faster on his pole, she felt the 'big one' getting ready to hit.

"Buffy--Unnnhh! Buffy, wait!" Spike used his grip on her hips to slow her down, until she was barely moving.

"What... is it? What's wrong?" Buffy panted with glazed eyes, looking down at him with concern.

"I want... you to bite me," Spike said seriously.

Buffy's eyes widened. "Wh-what?" She stopped moving completely, staring at him, stunned.

"I want you to bite me. It will... help you heal faster. And... I just want you to. I want to prove how much I love you," Spike said with a tinge of nervousness as he caressed her thighs and hips.

Buffy couldn't speak of a moment. Then, "Spike... pet, you... don’t have to do that to prove anything to me. You know you really don't want that."

Buffy didn't want him to do something he'd hate just to please her. Especially that. With him being the Slayer and all. Although, she could not deny the way her body tightened up and tingled, and her juices had gushed at his words.

"I want it. I want you to do it." Spike looked into her eyes. "Let me see your other face... I want to make love to all of you, every part of you..." He began thrusting gently back into her.

Buffy was still in shock but her demon understood quite well and was perfectly happy to comply with his request. Her vampiric features slid into place. She started moving up and down again, scratching her nails lightly over his chest, tweaking his dark nipples, a low growl escaped her mouth. Her golden eyes locked with his stormy blue. She saw the same lust and love in them that she'd seen before she went into game face. There was even a glimmer of added excitement to his eyes, as well as a little fear. This meant more to her than anything else he had done so far. This proved beyond all doubt that he accepted all of her and still loved her.

Buffy moved on him harder and faster. "Are you--Ahhh!--sure, pet?"

She scanned his face for any second thoughts. The best part was that he didn’t just blurt out his request in passion. He had planned on giving her this wonderful gift, on sharing this experience with her, all along.

"Yesss! Yes! I want it! Bite me! Please!" Spike gasped and tilted his head to the side, giving her access to his throat.

Buffy bent back over him, licking long strokes up and down his neck. She eyed the scars left from the previous bites. That was where she would make her mark. Covering the others for all-time. God, or Satan, help the next demon that tried putting their mark on him. They would be very sorry that they even thought about it. She’d eviscerate them on the spot. They’d be dead five times before their carcasses hit the ground. Spike belonged to Buffy now -- lock, stock and barrel.

Buffy had never been so excited in her life as she prepared to sink her teeth into his tender, creamy flesh. Juices flooded out of her cunt around his big cock and ran down his balls, then soaking into the sheets under them. She growled, snarled and mewled alternately, slamming her pussy onto his dick with more and more force and speed.

Spike panted and counter-thrusted up into her. Their constant vocalizations, the wet squishing sounds his cock made as it drove in and out of her oozing pussy, their pelvises smacking together -- the sounds formed a symphony to heighten and enhance their passions. They were working each other into a sexual frenzy.

Spike was breathless with anticipation. What would it be like? Would it hurt a lot?

Buffy whimpered and growled, getting closer to the brink. It was time. She opened her mouth wide and descended on the smooth, buttery skin of his throat. She bit down suddenly, but carefully, into his flesh.

Spike tensed and cried out when her razor-sharp fangs sliced into his flesh. He groaned and gasped at the sensation of being penetrated by her while her juicy snatch slammed down on his cock. It was the single most erotic thing he’d ever experienced. His mouth went slack and his eyes rolled up to white when she started pulling his blood into her mouth. Her lips formed a tight seal around the punctures as she sucked on his neck.

“BUFFY! Aaaah! Ohh--Oh FUCK! Gonna cum!” Spike’s hips bucked wildly up at her of their own volition, his hands clutched at her ass spasmodically.

Buffy was experiencing something akin to nirvana. Her gold eyes crossed and rolled around. Being on top of her Slayer and fucking him into next Wednesday was paradise all by itself. But this...this was a religious experience. His long, rigid, slick pole sliding in and out of her slippery cunt, hitting that sweet spot in her quim with every forceful stroke -- his hands clutching at her -- his moans and cries of pleasure/pain -- his hot, delicious, powerful Slayer blood gushing into her mouth, over her tongue and down her throat. She felt the power course through her body.

Their orgasms hit them unexpectedly and with an almost excruciating force at the same time. Their bodies went stiff, thrusting hard against each other, driving his cock to the bottom of her womb, their fingers dug into the other’s flesh as they began to shimmy and shake violently.

“OH GOD! BUFFY! F-FUCK! OHBABYYESYESOHGODYES!” Spike’s scream was ripped out of him as he started shooting what felt like gallons of cum up into her pussy.

Buffy came with her mouth still plastered to his neck. When the shockwaves of pleasure started rocking her body, her gold eyes shot open; she removed her fangs from his flesh and threw her head back. Her bloodstained mouth opened in an ‘O’ as she emitted an inhuman, high-pitched keening sound.

“YESSSSSSS! SSPPIKE! ANGGGHH! SLAYER! YESSS!” she screeched and hissed.

Spike grasped at her hips and fucked up into her like a wild man. His cock refused to stop spewing and spasming inside of her.

Buffy howled in ecstasy, tears leaked from the corners of her golden eyes. This was the most intense orgasm of them all and she was in awe of it -- its power was absolute. She whimpered and moaned as it kept going on and on. It would feel like it was finishing when she'd feel him twitching and spurting again, setting her off again. 

They humped desperately against each other. Their crotches were soaked with their combined juices.

Buffy fell onto his chest, unable to support her upper body anymore. Spike turned his head and brushed his lips over hers, they kissed and mauled the other's mouth as they panted, still moving their pelvises together. He tasted his blood on her lips and tongue, it wasn't as repugnant as he imagined it would be. In fact, it excited him. He grunted as yet another jet of cum squirted out of him. He didn't even notice that his lips got cut a bit on her fangs. A familiar lightheaded, dizzy sensation passed over him.

They went limp against each other, their brains short-circuiting momentarily from the pleasure overload.

* * *

Spike came to, feeling Buffy licking gently and lazily at the marks she'd put on his neck. She lay against his side, one arm and one leg draped possessively over his nude, sweaty body.

He looked at her and smiled lopsidedly. "I passed out again, eh?" He stroked her forearm.

"Yep. I did too for a minute. Your neck hurt, luv?" Buffy kissed his chest, her human features once again in place. "Pet? Was I too rough? The bleeding's stopped..." She lightly touched his bloody lips and neck with her fingertips.

Spike raised a slightly shaky hand to his neck, touching the bite marks. His hand came away wet. There was only a faint trace of blood, most of the moisture was Buffy-saliva.

"No, I'm okay. It was... I know I say this a lot, but -- Wow! I don't think I could handle that every time we do it though... a little too... intense."

Buffy smiled and leaned over, brushing her mouth over his, her tongue gently sweeping over the cut on his bottom lip. They kissed tenderly for a moment before Buffy pulled back. There was something on her mind, one of the last taunts that Sam had leveled at her nagged at her brain. She needed to know if it were true.

"Spike-pet... I have to ask you something. And if the answer is yes, I won't be pissed at you."

Spike looked at her and creased his brow. "What?"

"Did... you and Sam have sex?"

"What? Buffy, we went out for months and months. Yeah, we had sex..."

"No. I mean recently. I lost track of the sodding time so I don't know how long ago, but I think it was a week ago."

A slightly guilty look passed over his face. "No. No sex." Spike shifted position. "We should really change the bed, it's drenched," he laughed anxiously.

"Spike? I won't be mad. I told you." Buffy reached out and stroked his face.

"You won't?" he asked dubiously.

"I won't."

Spike looked away. "We didn't have sex... but..."

Buffy tried to remain calm. "But?"

"We... She.... she wanted to." Spike ran a hand through his sweaty hair and exhaled loudly. "She took off her dress and --" He looked at her. "You don't really want to hear this, do you?"

"I want to know. The bitch taunted me about it, sayin' she sucked you off and the two of you fucked like bunnies for hours. Did that happen?" She prayed the answer was no. She'd get past it -- he had thought Buffy betrayed him, and he'd been hurting. It would be natural for him to want some... comfort. However the thought of Sam touching him infuriated Buffy. She wanted to rip her apart.

"No! Nothing like that hap-- Well... she did, um, take my... uh... she put _it_ in her mouth. But I stopped the whole thing before... you know..."

Buffy ground her teeth. "That bloody bitch! I'll kill her! I'll --"

"Hey, you said you wouldn't get mad!" Spike said, getting worried.

"I said I wouldn't get mad at _you_. I didn't say anything about her." She kissed him fiercely, needing to claim his mouth as well as the rest of him again.

Spike broke the kiss for some air. "I'm sorry, Buffy. Believe me. If I had any idea of what she had done..." He stroked her back.

"Not your fault, pet." Buffy smiled weakly.

"Let's not talk about her anymore. She's long gone. We don't have to worry about her messing with us ever again," Spike soothed.

"Aw, why did you have to say that?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "You just jinxed the whole bloody thing. Now she'll be back for sure."

"She'd better stay away... if she knows what's good for her." He rolled over and looked down at her. "I won't let her hurt you again."

Spike's eyes spoke volumes to her. He didn't say it, but he would kill Sam before he let her get her hands on Buffy again. Amazingly, Buffy felt herself starting to get very horny again. After that last orgasm, she thought she'd be shagged out for the rest of the night. But the love and protectiveness that she saw lighting his eyes, made her feel delightfully squidgy inside.

Spike dipped his head down and captured her lips with his, stoking her furnace even more. He pulled back. "We _really_ need to change the sheets first. The wet spot could have its own lifeguard."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fabulous banners by Edgehead and Magz

 

On Monday evening, Spike had everyone come over to the house. 

He wanted to tell the gang about his intentions regarding Buffy. The Scoobies really did seem to think of Buffy differently after what happened with Sam. Maybe all of them would be okay with it now.

Dawn and Joyce had come back from their weekend in San Diego that morning. Spike had already told them that he and Buffy were back together. He was relieved that neither one of them gave him a hard time. They understood that Buffy hadn't intentionally hurt him, that Sam was the one to blame.

Spike and Buffy stood together in front of the gang. Spike wore a high-collared, button-up shirt to hide the fading bite marks on his neck. He hoped they didn't notice...

Somehow, he didn't think his friends would understand about the biting thing he and Buffy had shared the other night. It had bonded the two of them together even more than they had been before. It had been a profound and life-altering experience. It strengthened their connection, both physically and spiritually. His love for the petite vamp grew larger by the day.

"Guys, Buffy and I are going to be together." He looked at Buffy and smiled. "I'm in love with her."

Buffy grinned back at him, her eyes dancing as she gazed into his. She'd never been happier in her unlife. After two days, his Slayer's blood still sang in her veins, making her feel warm and loved.

"Mom and Dawn already told me that it's fine by them." He nodded and smiled at his sister and mother.

They smiled back.

Spike looked around into the faces of his friends. "Well? Any arguments? Protests? Anyone?"

Everyone looked at each other.

"Wills? Tara?" Spike looked questioningly at the witches. He was pretty sure they would still be on his side.

The girls smiled and shook their heads 'no'.

"After what you guys have gone through... it's like a big, epic, romantic movie or novel," Willow said. "How can we not root for the lovers who were torn from each other's arms with deception and lies?"

Tara nodded and smiled in agreement.

"Well put." Spike smiled. "Thanks." He turned to Giles. "Giles? What about you?"

Giles took a breath. "I... This is a highly unusual situation... Spike, you know my reservations, my concerns... But... I'll... support your decision."

Spike couldn't stop himself this time; he went over and gave the Watcher a big, bear hug. "Thanks, Giles!" Spike squeezed him happily.

"Urk! Spike! Breathing becoming... a problem!" Giles gasped, feeling a bit emotional and flustered.

He thought of Spike like a son and worried endlessly about him, but it was -- as Willow pointed out -- his life to live how he saw fit. All they could do as his friends was to be there for him and try to counsel him wisely. The rest was up to Spike himself.

Spike released him. "Sorry." He blushed.

Giles took off his glasses and polished them furiously.

Spike turned to Xander and Anya. This was the one he was most worried about. Xander had seemed to warm up to Buffy over the last week, but that didn't mean he still sanctioned the relationship.

"Anya? Xander?" Spike asked, looking straight at Xander.

"I'm fine with it," Anya said. She looked at Xander and squeezed his hand.

"Um..." Xander looked at Spike. "If... you guys want to be together... that's... cool with me." He smiled nervously.

He still didn't think this was a good idea, but... things had changed since they found out about Sam's scheme. Sam had been their friend, their compadre. Xander never would have believed in a million years that she could've been capable of doing what she did to Spike -- and what she did to Buffy. He had been wrong about Sam -- very, very wrong. That meant it was possible that he was wrong about Buffy too. Maybe Spike's love really could change her, make her a better person.

Spike started getting misty. He could tell that Xander was still conflicted, but he was trying. That was the important thing.

"Thanks, guys," Spike said thickly. "I... appreciate it."

Buffy smiled and looped her arm through Spike's, leaning up to kiss his cheek. The Scoobies were actually going to be cool about it. She was deliriously happy for Spike. She knew he would be with her no matter what they said, but he loved these people too. It would be hurtful to him if they gave him a hard time.

The phone in the kitchen rang.

"I'll get it," Joyce said, leaving the room.

"Now," Buffy began, "I don't want you lot to think I'm going to be all lemondrops and rosebuds from now on. I'm still me. But -- I'd never do anything to ruin what Spike and I have. So no evil plots or schemes for me. I can't promise that I won't call one of you on it if you're bein' a git about somethin', though. So, let's all try to get along with each other, for the Slayer's sake," Buffy said, mostly looking at Xander through her speech. "And... I wanted to say... thanks for... takin' care of me and helping me out... when I was fucked up," she said softly, looking down at her boots.

Spike put his arm around her and pulled her close, giving her a peck on the cheek. She wound her arms around his waist.

Everyone murmured that she was welcome for their help.

"That's settled then," Spike said, happy it was over. "You guys want to do something? Go get a bite -- erm -- something to eat?"

The gang nodded and voiced the affirmative. They stood up, putting on their jackets.

Spike looked down into Buffy's eyes. "Went a lot better this time." He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Mmmhmm," she agreed.

The Scoobies filed out the front door, discussing whether they were in the mood for Chinese or Italian food. Dawn gave her brother and his girlfriend a hug then followed the others.

Spike and Buffy were left alone for a few moments, taking the opportunity to steal another hot kiss.

Buffy pulled back. "C'mon, luv. Let's not keep 'em waiting." She went to get her duster from his bedroom.

Spike sighed with a dreamy smile on his face as he watched her walk up the stairs, his hand lightly touching the bite marks his lover had put on his neck. Nothing could tear them apart ever again. He wouldn't allow it. Everything was going to be okay now.

"Spike, honey?" Joyce came into the front hall.

He came out of his reverie at the sound of her voice. "Hey, Mom, we're all going out for something to eat. Want to come?" he asked, getting his jacket off the coat rack.

"Yeah, that would be nice... but..." Joyce looked hesitant.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"I just had the strangest call from Mrs. Kravitz from next door... Spike, were you running around... naked in the yard at any point during the weekend?" Joyce raised an eyebrow quizzically.

Spike reddened with embarrassment, his hands flew up to cover his hot face.

"Oh God..." he groaned.

 

THE END


End file.
